What You Read Below Is True

Not to brag but I can fit 15 pizza rolls inside my mouth

[kingmedusa]

I wanna fucking kale myself. I wanna commit sudoku. I wanna diet. I wanna see hail. I wanna be 6 ft on the grasshopper. You feel me?

[brigittepaulin]

[pulpfanfiction]

goodnight sweet prince

[thecryptkeeper]

once a girl reported me to an administrator at school bc i was breaking dresscode and she didnt like me. so i pushed her down the stairs. i just kept walking and i dont think she saw me and i never got caught. i know she got very seriously injured and they had to call an ambulance and she transferred schools bc she knew SOMEONE pushed her and she didnt feel safe. ive never regretted it. its been years since i graduated and im on mood stabilizers now, but sometimes when someone is testing my patience i calm myself down by thinking about how good it felt to snap once and how i cant do that again bc i would go to prison probably

[historyofmemes]

[the-stove-is-on-fire]

Spider-Man’s at work, time for undead boys to meme.

[Hey all, I’d usually put my ko-fi here but instead I’m going to link @savemysister’s  GoFundMe instead, drop a donation if you can]

[beanposting]

Just a friendly reminder 🙌🏻🙌🏻

[cakejam]

this lemur didn’t seem pleased that i was taking photos of him

[actionables]

so done

with you and your rude shit

[savannahfaerie]

Non-Alcoholic cool potion recipe:

1 bottle of ur fav Gatorade or Juice of your choice

A splash of ur fav energy drink (optional)

Luster dust (cake decorating kind) to preferred shimmer

A cool bottle

Combine to become a wizard instantly

These are great for cons for hyrdrating while on “brand”

[lyrikin-deactivated]

*chugs this shit down while running* STAMINA POTION LETS GO

[new-clown-in-town]

vt

I hope this posts in order! @twink-on-the-brink​ @gracefulvaudeville​

[dedenjoe]

[dedenjoe]

UPDATE: FIRST ATTEMPT

Him BABY

[dankmemeuniversity]

[xelayxes]

[xelayxes]

@matzahball

[dracophile]

For a second I didn’t realize it meant “high” as in a stoner--I thought “High Geologist” was like a rank of geologist or something and he was insulted you would challenge him to naming stones

[hamptercatapult]

great poast every one👍

[shirecorn]

I have drawn him.... The High Geologist

[dojacat]

[suplx-deactivated20190111]

this my girl pegging me for the first time after i told her i never had anything in my hole before and we getting into it hot and heavy but then she hear me moan “marcus” whos her brother who i met 2 years ago in my last year of college and had a secret night of passionate love making with on the night before graduation but we both agreed to never talk about it again because marcus decided he was straight and never wanted to talk to me again so i started dating his sister because i needed to be close to him again and because my hole hasnt been the same before since that night and i need him inside of me again

[slavery]

[onlyyams-deactivated20211101]

[stormesandshowers]

[smoothcollegedudemsu]

Reported

[mycumtasteslikeheaven]

[bulkingstud]

[kingmedusa]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[glittery-dinosaur-deactivated20]

What does this even mean

[discordsparkle]

It means you McPress McF to McPay McRespects

[shortcrust]

Absolutely losing it at this reply

[shortcrust]

[sexhaver]

if i had to watch this bottle of water get cuckolded then so do you

[neo-soulless]

😧😧😧😧

[shrump-scampi]

thottled water

[adulthoodisokay]

it’s been fun, but i think it’s time to delete the internet forever

[ruinedchildhood]

[bloomflowersbloom]

[reblogable-memes]

all that’s needed

[elevenbathroomsinks]

these are the same picture just on opposite sides of the spectrum

[admiralrainbow]

[smellyoldblanket]

[tooiconic]

[cheese24k]

Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth

> Don’t give him a baby for a while.

[leradny]

HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER

AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM

[quasarkisses]

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT

IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE

*THUNK*

[emilyelizabethfowl]

i love it so much every time i see it

[official-aquarium-gravel]

“ugh stupid gravity” 

[bruh-moment-dot-jpeg-deactivate]

IM FUXKING CSHAKING

[perfectlyhopeless]

I haven’t seen this post on my dash in *years* bless this

[flootzavut]

Bless, this is absolutely amazing

[mxbuster]

I love this. It’s so gestural and he’s so exasperated about gravity.

[spacepsychologist]

The perfect comedic timing of the NASA logo.