JustNobody

"Something really is wrong with me. And I just don't know what it is." -Perks of Being a Wallflower

[just-shower-thoughts]

The first lesson in sex ed class should be how much money it costs to care for a child.

[notagiraffe]

Me: *shows basic human decency to cashier

Cashier: ??!?! Thank you! You’re the nicest person ever!

Me: are you ok

[bravadopinfire]

Reblog if politeness to retail and service workers is important to you.

[that-one-irish-idiot-deactivate]

honestly 

[weavemama]

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

[trip-usingizi-rp-blog]

This shit is wild.

[goodshinyhunter]

There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if you’re so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.

After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.

Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if you’re stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, you’re dead. Radiation poisoning.

Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever you’re going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.

How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as there’s enough inches vertically you’ll be good so long as you stay under it.

You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.

[galaxy-manticore]

Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.

[magic-owl]

I cannot believe I actually have to freaking reblog this but here y'all go just in case

[shit-editor]

Take a break from the humor for just a second and read this.

[thewickedwilds]

Sorry, what year is this again??

[pixie-tot]

why are non-millennials so personally offended by everything? like if i’m still wearing my jacket indoors, it’s because i’m cold, not because i disrespect your home/your classroom !! if somebody has got your order wrong, it’s because they’re very busy and simply made a mistake, not because they’re trying to jeopardise your meal !! if somebodies phone rings during a meeting/lecture, it’s because they accidentally forgot to put it on silent, not because they want to disrupt your speech !! just calm down, sharon, not everything is about you

[thelittlemerms]

my personal favorite is when you yawn and they’re like “am I boring you?”

like bitch i’m running on five hours of sleep and chronic anxiety 

[thegoodvybe]

[pr1nceshawn]

The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

[alexanders-archives]

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

[urocyonfox-deactivated20210104]

My land lady is a 90lb 88 year old woman with 5 full grown Rottweiler boys. They sit around her when she gardens and watch her like the secret service. If you show up to pay rent they all stand up and stand between you and her.

It’s intimidating to have 5 pony size boys all staring at you until she stands up realizes it’a you and walks to you.

My favorite part is she wades through them like swamp water saying in her cute old voice ‘move’ ‘move please’ and each one she nudges to move wags his whole body at her touch and stumbles out of the way like he’s been knocked over by a truck. It gives me life paying my rent.

[kittasoar]

Boooooooo

This show sucks

[coldasyou]

AYANA WAS ROBBED

[saranghaeshinee]

AYANA WILL WIN PROJECT RUNWAY 16

[poppunkwolf]

they’re getting hacked in the most 90s-tastic way possible

[kittasoar]

I can't with this story line. Who hacks a hospital? Come on.

[culturistjack-deactivated201804]

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

[olisaurusrex]

I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

[thattallsummonerguy]

Or if you’d like to have some more options….

I’m 6’4” 228 pounds and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football. Just in case you are looking for variety.

[wontbeafraid-deactivated2014041]

what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

[nevergenders-moved]

im tiny, i’m like 5′4 and 130 lbs but u can fight me too

[scumbagsblog]

Reblogging for the last one cuz that’s adorable

[likeits1995]

SO PROUD

[ghost--ranger]

The Fantastic 4 we deserve

[crimezi]

OMG IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREEN SHOTS

[stars-for-thought]

We will all protect the small one.

[ruinedchildhood]

[wigglingwaffles]

Meanwhile, Trump’s inauguration was literally the most watched program in American history at 31.1 million viewers

[king-jarrod]

The most watched program in American history at 115.2 million viewers was Super Bowl XLIX on February 1, 2015. And the only non-sporting event that made the top 20 of most watched broadcasts was at number 8 the M*A*S*H finale on February 28, 1983 with 105.9 million viewers. Trump’s inauguration wasn’t even the most viewed inauguration, that goes to President Reagan’s first inauguration with nearly 42 million viewers, the second most watched inauguration goes to President Obama’s first inauguration with 37 million viewers. So Trump’s inauguration was very far from “literally the most watched program in American history” as you put it.

[aspiringdoctoruk-blog]

But who needs facts in Trump America?

[fuck-customers]

i worked as a cashier at a supermarket for a while. I was 18 at that point and the customer this story is about was a dude in hins 40s-50s. I rang his stuff up regularly an we didn’t even chat a lot except for the regular “hello, was everything fine?” bla bla. then suddenly he mumbles something about rings. me being the idiot i am thought he wanted to buy a ring and was like “um no we dont sell rings, we are a supermarket?” but then he goes “no i said: i see that you aren’t wearing a ring” i was kind baffled and said “um yes” “can i take you out for a coffee sometime?” (remember that dude is double my age!) “no thank you, i have a boyfriend” i said (truthfully) and (i dont know what brought me to say that) “Also I think we might not be the same age group” “ Well how old are you?” “18” “Ah, it’s legal, so we should be fine” and then he winked. wtf?? i just asked for his money, let him pay and luckily he left without any more comments

[kittasoar]

I was wiping down the door today and all of a sudden a customer who was easily twice my age comes up behind me and goes "I should bring you home with me." This shit is creepy not funny you guys.

[ryeisenberg]

[meanplastic]

I’m so fucking tired of not being a multimillionaire

[arryns]

[kittasoar]

me: *doesnt sleep, is tired*

me: *sleeps a bit, is tired*

me: *sleeps average amount, is tired*

me: *sleeps a lot, is tired*

me: *is tired*