The Underground Ocean @kleptomaniacunicorns - Tumblr Blog

they said we committed to the ab armor

I can respect that.

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

mattheuphonium-blog

fabulous

tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

counterpunches

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

valtsv

i think you should be able to link your spotify to your tumblr. i want to see the chaos that would cause.

valtsv

no you don't understand i want to see callouts i want to get asks about why i'm listening to the same song 60 times in a row at 4am like it's anyone's business but my own i want violence i want blood

keepcalmandcarriefischer

So when Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi he looked like this

But turning to the dark side changed his physical appearance. Most notably his eyes, which became yellow (a very typical Sith transformation in many species)

And while I know that Wookies are not supposed to be able to be force sensitive and therefore cannot become Jedi or Sith, all I am saying is that

…. You know?

keepcalmandcarriefischer

As a tag?? You make the funniest comment on this post ever as a tag?

cikero

I can’t stand elon musk’s simp army like okay maybe they could idk pay for a concerted clean up effort with those billions of dollars they have? You can’t just destroy this planet to get to other ones lol. source

an-drom-eda

ok this is a good april fool's joke

raindogs-deactivated20230528

I like men quizzes I feel like I am at a sleepover when I take them

raindogs-deactivated20230528

when a quiz ask me if I like dev patel or jason mamoa better I feel like this

girlhugger

i swear yall need to watch spongebob docupants im dying

girlhugger

i swear yall need to watch spongebob docupants im dying

tlirsgender

My ideal gender presentation is masculinity but doing it wrong because I'm also doing femininity but doing it wrong. Yknow

tlirsgender

Am I masc? Am I fem? Well. I'm a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend that you had in february of last year, actually

tiktokstowatch

simonalkenmayer

...

No...

I thought I could figure out the referent, but no. I can’t. Which murdered British boys? Someone go back and ask that elderly neighbor or I’ll never be able to sleep again.

starkie-md

King Edward V of England and Richard of Shrewsbury, Duke of York! They were murdered by their uncle!

knightsintodreams

She... she does

earendil-was-a-mariner

6 hour long fight at this year’s Tolkien Historical Society Conference about whether Middle Earth has bees, before I reminded everyone that the Rohirrim had mead halls, which means they had honey, which means there’s bees. Everyone sighed and the conference continued. This is the life of a Tolkien scholar.

apple-dandy

It’s what he would have wanted

batmanisagatewaydrug

op why did you wait six hours

karazak93

The Mandalorian: Who Are you?

Geralt: I'm you, but I can say "fuck"

nudityandnerdery

The Mandalorian: Well, I have a jet pack.

Geralt: Fuck.

triggermangravy

Geralt, pointing at lil yoda baby: what is that?

Mando: a magic baby that evil dudes dressed in black want, I'm adopting him

Geralt, now pointing at Ciri: I got one of those, how'd you get yours?

Mando: I was hired to bring him to aforementioned evil dudes, then I raided their base to break him out, yours?

Geralt: I won her at an engagement party through ass-kicking and sarcasm

cipheramnesia

synebluetoo

Single dads without health insurance trying to make it in the gig economy

browsethestacks

The Mummy

Art by Stephanie Pepper

normal-horoscopes

UGH FINE BUT YOU ASKED

1 - It is around 40 AD, you are the greco-babylonian Occultist Hermes Trismegistus, you read some early vedic philosophy and write some fun mystic stuff about how oftentimes things are created when opposites combine. You use a lot of imagery related to male and female organs. You have just invented what will eventually be called Hermeticism.

2 - It's 2017, someone on 4chan reads that soy products have plant estrogen in them. People are not plants and it has no effect on people, but suddenly soy products are responsible for the feminization of the western male and therefore the downfall of civilization. This is the birthplace of the transphobic epithet soyboy.

3 - If soy products are feminine, what are some products with say, plant testosterone in them? 4chan fixates on onions. Queue months worth of posts of channers chugging onion juice to own the libs.

4 - You are Jordan Peterson, you're a self help writer down on his luck. You've got an audience of angry young men who feel emasculated by the failures of late capitalism, and you've read a lot of hermetic philosophy. It's time to cache in.

5 - You create what will become the foundation of neofascist metaphysics. You take the hermetic idea of male and female energies literally, positing that all things in their essence are either inherently male or inherently female, with no in-between. This allows said young men to blame bad things on their inherent spiritual feminity, rather than say, capitalism.

6 - Hence, onions are a channel for the inherent masculine energy of the universe.

normal-horoscopes

Bonus - you get addicted to benzos and rotten meat so your daughter kidnaps you and drops you off at a Russian rehab where you're put into a medical coma for several months

plum-soup

It was in SERBIA

weaver-z

Marvel directors: Even when actors like Chris Evans do their own stunts, we make sure they’re VERY wired in and rehearse a lot before filming. We also add dangerous weapons in in post so there’s no chance of danger, even with a prop. :)

Good Omens directors: We’re making David Tennant DRIVE A FLAMING CAR and IF HE DIES, HE DIES

weaver-z

@littlexolotl

If he dies

HE DIES.

mishandjen-tellmehow

WTF

I SAY WHAT THE F

WHAT WAS HAPPENING !??!

@castiel-saved-me-from-myself

*ah, i need to elaborate, i’m not stressed over this, i’m .. uhm. shook, more like it, yes, ahhahah

fandomsmeantheworldtome

IS THIS TRUE? OMG !!!

mishandjen-tellmehow

I just remember something, due to this article here

The fire at the bookstore was real and the burning books were also real, too ( they collected thrown away books and made them look like antique books)