Journey to the Stage: a look back on my journey to my first bikini competition
So I have't posted anything on my blog in a very long time but I thought it would be good to post a little something about the crazy ride I have been on the past 8 weeks. I figured this will not only help some of you that may be thinking about competing or those that have can share similar experiences, but it can also be something that I can look back at if I ever feel like stepping on stage again. WARNING: this is going to be a long post! haha
Let's start with why. I have always been an athletic person, played sports all my life, and went to the gym religiously but, I was starting to get bored. I was hitting a plateau and I wasn't seeing the results I wanted. Being an athlete, there was something in me that wanted to experience a sense of competition again. I've been up and down about competing for about 2 years now. I've heard many good and bad things about the sport. People have said that it is very political and I was afraid I was going to loose my passion for working out. I thought I was going to go through this grueling processes. Also, I do NOT have much in the self confidence area unfortunately, so standing on stage in a itsy bitsy bikini doing poses to show off your body while hundreds of people were watching you is not my definition of a good time. But, I felt like it was time to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to do something some never thought I would actually do. The biggest reason I decided to do this was because this was something that was for ME. This was not going to benefit anyone else, this was not going to help anyone else, but me. So, after attending one of my friend's competitions, and seeing him go through the process from the beginning to the end, I realized it was time for me to try this whole competing thing.
Before starting this journey I did a lot of research on nutrition and workouts. I knew that about 90%-95% of competitors had a coach/nutritionist to help them get stage ready. For me, I decided to do without one, not sure if it was the best decision or not since it was my first competition. I have a passion for nutrition and have actually been doing a lot of research for the past year as well as I have experimented a little with how my body reacts to certain "diets" or foods, so I figured I would get that part down. Plus lucky for me, I had friends that were awesome trainers that agreed to help me throughout this process. As far as posing, I thought I would just figure that out later (boy was I wrong about this one). So I thought I was set.
It was about 8-9 weeks ago I started the real "comp prep." My friend, Andrew, and I analyzed my body to see where I would need the most work. We saw that I had a lot of muscle built so the next 8 weeks were really about tightening and toning everything specifically my core. I figured out my macros for the first 2 weeks and came up with a meal plan that fits within my macros. As far as workouts, we decided a few heavy lifting to keep my muscle, but I would mostly be doing HIIT workouts to shed the fat as well as fasted cardio in the morning.
A few weeks went by of 5am fasted cardio, eating my meals, drinking my gallon of water, then evening HIIT workouts but I wasn't seeing any change. I was getting really frustrated and discouraged because I wasn't seeing improvements even though I was putting in all the work. So I changed up my macros and meals a little and continued to do this for the next 2 weeks. It wasn't until about 4-5 weeks of intense training and staying on track with my diet that I was finally starting to see change. This kind of gave me a boost of confidence and helped get me through the last couple weeks before the show.
I started posing practice about 7 weeks out. We took a few moves that we saw online and put them together to make up a simple routine for me. The very first time I practiced posing I was so embarrassed. In my head I thought I look ridiculous, I walk like a man in heals, and there is NO WAY i would be able to show off my body in front of all those people. I was shy and had no personality what so ever. I continued to practice about twice a week. Not going to lie its a bit embarrassing strutting around in heels and a bikini in a mirrored room at the gym. Luckily I had one of my teammates who was competing too, practicing his poses with me. Except he was in shorts so it wasn't that big of a deal haha. As time went on, I gained a little more confidence, especially when I started to see the changes in my body. About 3 weeks out I got my competition bikini (from IG: @kristalbikinis who is AMAZING btw). I put that thing on and all I could think was that's it!? It didn't cover much of my body at all. There was no way I could hide anything in a suit like that. This got me a little nervous again.
2 weeks out came a lot quicker than I thought. I had to change my meals a little again and try shed anything else I could. The last two weeks were pretty tough, I was getting tired of my meals and I was drained and sore from all my workouts, I was tired because I could barely sleep at night from everything running through my head. I had a lot of planning to do for my final week. I know I stressed myself out a lot more than I should have but that's just how I am. My food was starting to taste disgusting and I was craving everything as if I were a pregnant woman.
"Peak Week" rolled around and it was time to finish off my last couple workouts and prepare to step on stage. For peak week I basically ate tilapia and asparagus for every meal, got rid of any powdered supplements I was taking, and started to reduce my water intake. I naturally retain a lot of water and I needed to get rid of it as much as possible by adding some sauna time, also did a little core everyday. Monday I did my 5am fasted cardio (45mins of stairs) and in the evening workout out arms and finished in the sauna, Tuesday was fasted cardio and my last leg day. Wednesday was of course my last fasted cardio day and in the afternoon I did a full body workout but focused on my shoulders and back. Thursday I rested and cooked my meals for the next two days. It was hard to rest and just sit at home. I wanted so badly to workout because I felt like I had so much to work on. Thursday night my teammate and I went to the gym and practiced our posing.
Friday: One day out. My teammate Johnny, my friend/trainer Andrew, and I headed down to San Diego at about 11am. Ran a couple errands and visited some family before heading to my tanning appointment at 2:45 with Lauri from Cheat the Beach. By the way, I HIGHLY recommend going to her if you need competition tanning! Tanning was interesting to say the least. Wore loose black pants and a loose black robe. First I had to strip down and put on a cover up they provided as well as a hair net. When it was my turn I Lauri removed the cover up and there I was completely naked in front of a stranger. She had me in all sorts of positions in order to get an even tan. For the Women she adds special gold flakes that makes you look amazing! I quickly got over the whole being naked thing and when she was done they had me stand in a stall with a fan to dry for 20 mins along with some other people that were getting their tans done as well (yes we are all completely naked, my maturity was tested). My check ins were at 5:30. Went to the event hotel and sat in a room all tanned in my robe and pants surrounded by a bunch of girls, some tanned and some not. I think we all felt a bond of some sort because we were all in the same boat. Nervous, hungry, thirsty, and tired. After a few announcement I went up to get my height measured and measured in at 5'4 3/4. This put me in Novice Class C and Open Class D. Paid for my NPC card and got my number. #74. After I was finished I waited for my friend to check into his competition.
Morning of the competition. I woke up at 5 am to do my hair and makeup which I practiced a week before. Struggled with my lashes a little but finally got them down. Woke Johnny up around 7 to eat our first meal. Finished getting ready and headed to the venue for our orientation. There they walked us through how the show was going to go and how we were going to walk out on stage. After, Johnny and I headed to get our tan touched up. Note: I had a little trouble with the whole "peeing in a cup thing" so i definitely needed a touch up haha. But Lauri is awesome and can fix anything! After touch ups we headed back to the venue and waited for Johnny to go up for Men's physique pre-judging. I watched him kill it on stage and he got first call outs on both Novice and in Open. Then the nerves kicked in. I began to doubt myself and everything I did for the past few months.
Finally it was time for my Novice class to step on stage. Met a couple girls in line and they were just as nervous as I was. Some this was their second show and they were describing how nerve wrecking their first show was. They said their legs were shaking and some forgot park of their routine. In my head I thought great that's exactly what was going to happen to me.
Sure enough I stepped on stage, bright lights beaming down on me, judges staring up at me critiquing every part of my body and every move I made, and my legs were shaking like crazy, I hit my back pose and told myself to take a deep breath or I would fall. Finally got through my routine and moved to the side. The rest of the girls in my class went through their routine and then came call outs. Mind you I had to do this twice, once for Novice then a shorter routine for Open. Unfortunately I was not called for first call outs for either one but I was also not last for either one. Walked off stage after Open and felt so defeated. I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart. Even though I went into this not for a trophy a part of me was still disappointed. I put in months of hard work for ten seconds on stage and I choked. All that ran through my head was everything I did wrong, everything that I should have and could have done better. I shouldn't have eaten that, I should have worked out harder, I should have practiced more. All these emotions running through me, Being an athlete all my life I didn't like loosing, no one does really. I felt like crying but I was so dehydrated and tired I don't think I was physically able to. Met up with Andrew and Johnny and they reassured me that I did great and should still be proud of myself. Honestly I didn't want to hear it from anyone at that point since I was kind of disappointed at myself. I know this wasn't the best attitude, but that's what I was thinking at that point.
Soon my friends showed up and I realized how blessed I was. These people came all the way down just to support me even though I didn't place. Although I was tired and upset I tried my best to put a smile on my face. I just hope they know how much I appreciate them coming down. It honestly helped lift up my spirits. I love my friends to death and I can't thank them enough for all the support they've given me.
6 o'clock rolled around and it was time for the final judging. I was able to watch Johnny step out on stage and take home TWO 2nd place trophies. He is now nationally qualified and at his first competition, I couldn't be more proud of him. He's definitely helped me a lot through this process too. I complained to him almost everyday about how hungry and tired I was. Whenever I felt like quitting or i started doubting myself, he would help lift my head and encourage me to keep going.
Then it was my turn to hit the stage one last time. This time I wasn't that nervous. I knew I wasn't going to place so I just went up there, did my thing and walked off stage. It was about 9:45pm when I was finally finished. Found my friends and we were out. I had a Double Double waiting for me in the car and it was the most amazing feeling taking that first bite. I also drank about a half a gallon of water.
Got to our hotel room and took a shower. It felt so good granted that we weren't able to take a shower since Friday morning because of our tan. Scrubbed off most of my tan and I looked fairly normal again. After hydrating and having some delicious food and plenty of oreos I was finally regaining energy and I was in a much better mood. A group of us went down town and celebrated all our accomplishments that night. It was exactly what I needed.
So I guess this was a pretty detailed story of my life the past 2 months. Sorry if it was long. I guess this is more for me to reflect on. Maybe it will help some of you that are thinking about doing one. Please don't let my story scare you off from doing one because to me it was worth everything! Read my next entry to see my reflection on my whole process.
