亲吻 @kpop-pan-orama - Tumblr Blog

So for my D&D campaign, I decided to make one of the main locations that the party goes to a society that live atop floating mountains in the sky. Pretty fucking cool. Especially since they live among dragons and have a system with them.

Their characters were undoubtedly terrified because they are like way up there, and were worried about how the islands could stay in the sky- but they didn’t actually ask.

So when it came to them having a talk with the leader of this society, Samuel, you wanna know the actual questions they fucking asked him? The questions that their hearts wanted to know about my god damn fantasy land? Emphasis on the fantasy?

“What is the population of this society?”

“Do you trade with neighboring countries? What is the export you’re well known for?”

“You farm, what is the soil like up here? And what things to you grow that are like your specialty?”

“What is your based economy?”

YEAH. YEAH. DON’T FUCKING ASK ABOUT THE DRAGONS HERE. DON’T ASK HOW THE ISLANDS ARE FLOATING OR HOW THERE ARE BARRIERS. LET’S HAVE AN IN DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT THE SOIL QUALITY.

I didn’t think of half the shit they asked because I didn’t think they would ask LEGITIMATE SOCIETAL QUESTIONS. I’D BE LIKE “FUCK YEAH DRAGONS, MAY I PET THEM?” BUT THESE FUCKERS? NOPE! TELL ME ABOUT THE DIRT ON THE MAGICAL FLOATING MOUNTAINS IN THE SKY.

hollowlunerfang

Now I’m curious about the soil content. Do they use the dragons in long distance trade? we all must know!

tandembicycles

Why are you people like this

pandaaamonium14

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

skrillcholas-cage

oh my god these are great

princemetalthunder

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

candyheartdoe

Whats up with Hei Hei in some of the Moana promo art and posters? Like

And like

And even????

He’s so angry and ready to Throw Down

But then in actuality he’s just

Disney explain

youkaiyume

I went to the “Behind the Scenes” panel for Moana at CTN expo this year and the explanation is as follows:

In development, HeiHei used to be a character meant to be Moana’s watchdog. He stands to the side making sure she stays out of trouble (and away from the sea) and judges her (sort of like Flint the hummingbird from Pocahontas) but the directors were worried that it made him too unlikeable. John Lasseter gave the crew about 48 hours to think of a way to figure out how to save his character or else he’d be cut from the film. So instead HeiHei’s IQ was lowered waaaay down, making him more lovable and funny. During a story pitch in which Moana had to retrieve the Heart of Te Fiti from the Kakamora, she originally only retrieved the stone. The artists reboarded it exactly the same except HeiHei swallowed it and the Kakamora was lugging around a chicken instead and it instantly made everything more hilarious. To which Lasseter exclaimed at that moment: “THE CHICKEN LIVES!” an inside joke that was kept at the end of the film when the ocean spat HeiHei onto the shore and Maui remarks “the chicken lives!”

shatterstag

best thing about this movie was the perfectly marketed/polished commercial animal side kick just waiting to be the new olaf and then its in the movie for like 3 mins tops and instead a chicken that eats rocks gets to be the disney animal companion™

tafkarfanfic

IT GETS BETTER.

Once they rewrote the character they were in a panic. Who could voice such a role?

None other than Alan Tudyk, known as “Walt Disney Studios’ lucky charm” due to his roles as Duke in Frozen, King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph and KTSO in Rogue One, who made the front freaking page of the Wall Street Journal due to his performance.

Tudyk says: “The character you’re playing, even though he’s a rooster and is really stupid, you approach it in the same way you would approach Hamlet, which is exactly how I approached it. But they give you the circumstances. “You’re on the boat. You didn’t expect to be here. You just climbed in a boat to maybe sleep. You don’t even know why you climbed in the boat. You’re really that dumb. Every three minutes is a new world to you, so you see that you’re trapped on this boat, and you freak out. Go.”

Note: Tudyk went to Julliard.

stickmarionette

Also: Alan Tudyk is the only non-Pasifika/Maori person in the voice cast. He plays the chicken.

i-hate-chick-fil-a

White privilege in full display.

onlyblackgirl

Meanwhile 17 BLM protestors were arrested.

mxnrique

snl is becoming more and more self written every week.

livelegatolagrange-deactivated2

Jessica Chastain scalped everyone

chicks2010

countmackulla-deactivated201809

I’m gonna apply for a job at Gordon Ramsay new restaurant and I’m gonna get it

countmackulla-deactivated201809

I submitted my application and resume

countmackulla-deactivated201809

I GOT THE FUCKING INTERVIEW

countmackulla-deactivated201809

My interview is in a few hours. I got this but wish me luck

countmackulla-deactivated201809

I GOT THE FUCKING JOB

reblog for good luck

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS MY BLACK ASS LOWKEY

d-e-l-ete-d-deactivated20181014

The killers: Im coming out of my cage….

My black ass:

chocolatesprinklesroyale

It’s official: Mr. Brightside gives everyone superpowers.

pocblog

Lets be reality.. once that chorus hit…

710mycologyexpert

i fucking hate dating nerds one single time i wore a star wars shirt to see a dude and he was like, “wow are u wearing that to impress me” and i said, “star wars episode 4 was seen by approximately 110 million people during its initial theatrical run in 1977”

furious-coyote

Congratulations. You’re dating people who for the longest time have been putting up with bullying, mocking, and scorn for most of their lives. That kind of shit stays with people. So imagine their surprise when they see a member of the opposite sex, who I’m assuming is really attractive in comparison to most people, wear attire that reps nerd culture. Which even though is accepted by the masses (if you’re reasonably attractive) is still rare. Now I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to be scornful I’m just saying expect it and don’t be surprised when you hear it. Ok? OK.

710mycologyexpert

why i dont date fucking nerds: exhibit B

stele3

Bolded emphasis mine. Gross.

constant-instigator

Stands on nearest chair: ATTENTION MALE NERDS. YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM A SHORTAGE OF FEMALE NERDS. THERE ARE VAST NUMBERS OF US, AND WE RARELY HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING EACH OTHER. YOU ARE WITHOUT FEMALE COMPANY BECAUSE YOU ARE WHINEY ASSBABIES WHO THINK YOU OWN THINGS BECAUSE YOU LIKE THEM, AND BECAUSE YOU SOMEHOW THINK YOU SUFFER BULLYING WHEREAS GIRL NERDS SOMEHOW NEVER DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU GET TO BE ASSHOLES BECAUSE YOU HAVE A “TRAGIC PAST” OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE. IF YOU THINK GIRL NERDS DON’T GET BULLIED IT’S LIKELY BECAUSE THOSE GIRLS DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BECAUSE OF THIS SORT OF ATTITUDE.

wizardshark

also: fucking no one mocks nerds anymore. Game of thrones is the most watched show on tv, everyone and their mom is playing video games, dungeons and dragons is more popular than it’s ever been.

introvertedgeek

To conclude

theotherwesley

i’m obligated to reblog the Critical Whale

ananarchie

kids are fucking fragile, ok? when you have no life experience you have nothing to compare your troubles to and many things ARE, in fact, the worst thing to ever happen to you.

i’m 20. and i had a rough week this week. and one of the reasons it wasn’t as rough as it could have been is because i have had worse. i have been in more pain than this before and it was really helpful to be able to say to myself, yes, ok, i’m feeling like a massive pile of shit right now, but i remember how i felt when thing x happened y years ago and that was objectively more horrible and if i got through that then i’m going to survive this.

when i was 16 i couldn’t do that because thing x was in fact the worst thing to ever happen to me. because when you haven’t lived very long some of the things that happen WILL be the worst things to ever happen to you and you’re fucking allowed to be angry and upset and so on. there is no age you have to reach before you’re allowed to feel bad. i can’t believe this discourse tbh.

kids are fragile and they’re dismissed all the time for having feelings because shitty ass adults are so selfish that they can’t wrap their minds around the idea that MAYBE their feelings aren’t more important than a child’s. seriously fuck off maybe if someone had taken me seriously as a kid i’d be a functional adult

squadalaa

PLEASE

bring back bead lizards

thatgirlwhohugstrees

I used to love making these omg

funnyposts

me pressing this stupid lamp at 1am to wake that bitch up

marsixm

hey if ur reading this and ur in a bad spot mentally or anything i hope u feel better soon and have a good day

pigeony

what if you’re giving birth to twins and it’s the end of daylights savings day and the older twin was born first but the second twin travels back in time and is born an hour before the first twin, would that be fucked up or what.

pigeony

I don’t even remember typing this holy shit