KRÏ §TIÃN . TØPHĘR

○ www.professionalbootylicker.org ○ 6'3", food lover (obviously), currently majoring in movie watching and minoring in terrible jokes, trying hard to not look like i'm trying hard, I also talk alot... no joke there just a fact.

[cadere-art]

Commission for a client of a leopard gecko.

[tatters-the-bat]

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

[fatalisticme]

let's stand with mama

[queer-as-city-folk]

Clairs lobotomy is over hyped, come here, we're going to do a live clairs vivisection on you!

[aeoliantectrix]

"live vivisection" is redundant. It wouldn't be a vivisection if ur dead. That's a dissection.

[queer-as-city-folk]

Shush, saying live vivisection dramatically is really fucking fun to do

[jungwildeandfree]

Not "live" as in "subject is not deceased," "live" as in "in front of a studio audience"

[queer-as-city-folk]

We got a clairs laugh track to go with my shitty quips and everything

[the-haiku-bot]

We got a clairs laugh

track to go with my shitty

quips and everything

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[krwlng707]

fav one piece character?? (Mine is sanji lol)

[theambitiouswoman]

[memeuplift]

[fatalisticme]

curled up with mama.... protected by mama.... let's be warm with mama...

[writing-prompt-s]

Elves realized ages ago that, due to the lifespan differences between them, humans will eventually forget the reasoning for various treaties and break them. So it's understandably shocking to the elves when they discover some long-forgotten treaties in their own records that humans never broke.

[caats]

[iwilleatyourenglish]

my partner is only 40 but nestled within him is the soul of an elderly man

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[lakevida]

everyone younger than me is having a baby and everyone older than me has 3+ roommates and everyone the same age as me fell down a biiiiiiiiiiig flight of stairs

[cipheramnesia]

I think there's a widespread school of thought that old or nearly immortal beings like elves and draculas and shit have developed some kind of centuries long ageless patience. An attitude something like, "I have seen empires rise and fall, rulers come and go. This too will pass in the blink of an eye, and matters not to the world."

But I also like ancients who are like do what you want forever. "Are you kidding, a century ago everyone was wearing skirts. Wear pink, sleep in a tree, dance in the street, climb up the walls, talk to strangers. No one's gonna give a shit in a hundred years, have fun now!"

[bythepowerofscience]

Ah yes, the dichotomy of immortality:

- The years start coming and they don't stop coming

- So much to do so much to see so what's wrong with taking the back streets

[the-haiku-bot]

- So much to do so

much to see so what’s wrong with

taking the back streets

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[valtsv]

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident

[orangepenguino]

x

[livingthewritelife-things]

[moss-wizard]

What a year this week has been.

[we-dont-matteratall]

It’s Monday.

[jacuwi]

It sure as hell is.

[actualaster]

The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets

[dettadixit]

a humble addition at 10am