Yoooooooooo

Krystal | 20 | Az🌵 | Virgo | Hit me up fr. 420 🌺

[gahdamnpunk]

She didn’t have to flex this hard 😤😤

[krystall-meth]

Hey remember when someone wanted to have sex with me?

Cuz me either.

[ectoviolet]

i have literally no understanding of why computers work. how the fuck are a bunch of ones and zeroes which represent basically an on/off switch, going 2 translate into Video Games. thats like if i just flickered the lights in my bedroom real fast in a specific order and then suddenly i was playing skyrim. 

[okaymad]

[clarknokent]

Bruh

[jollylollylily]

Yooooooo…

[dynastylnoire]

Levels

[clamchowdurr-deactivated2022040]

I wanna say Thats violation but that means he was gone send her that unwanted shit too 😂😂😂

[fleetnaturals-deactivated202110]

black mirror season 4

[tiffanyaliyah]

Savage

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Oh wow

[hobbit-feels]

This is super epic. 

He was obnoxious to begin with, it is true, but if he moves forward in this wooing as a respectful dude, he will text her something nice like it was fun to meet her or maybe ask her on a date.  Mom will text him back and there will be a bit of confusion before he realizes what happened.  He’ll be a bit chagrined and mom will probably feel bad enough for him being rejected to make him cookies or something.

HOWEVER

If he starts in with that fuckboy shit (asking for sex right out the gate, dick picks, asking for nudes, etc.), he will learn the ultimate lesson. 

In short, he is only fucked if he fucks himself.

This is Greek Mythology levels of savage.

[insidiousink]

#In which a man is in command of his destiny #And does not know it

[jjsinterlude]

YOOOOOOOO

[whitepeopletwitter]

Shots fired

[whitepeopletwitter]

The wild Wild West

[earthdad]

a conversation I saw at Taco Bell

[humorstar]

young son crying: I wish I had a burrito

the mom pointing at the kid's burrito: son that is a burrito

[ruinedchildhood]

[babyanimalgifs]

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

[anarchapella]

Ok but the other one is purring so hard

[valgalart]

If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead

[excessively-english-jd]

Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.

Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.

[blogtitletaken]

I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.

[castiel--for--king]

*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about

[sonneillonv-deactivated20220218]

*leans over and whispers back*  Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

consider the coconut

[bemusedlybespectacled]

this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”

[kascaban]

i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.

[heartgemsona]

listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them

[baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

This post is a journey

[virtuous-thing]

1 Reblog = 1 Respect

[dovewithscales]

I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.

[eldbitch-horror]

Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs!

Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous

[dovewithscales]

Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits. Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses. Poseidon: It should be aquatic.

[hyratel]

I MEAN where’s the lie

[dovewithscales]

Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this? Everyone: Australia.

[pepoluan]

This thread goes every which way and is a glorious thing begat by Tumblr.

[unicornsandbutane]

Hestia, who brought the weed and has been quiet this whole time, suddenly, but with forceful conviction: IT DOESNT HAVE TEATS IT JUST SWEATS MILK. she nods sagely before collapsing into giggles

[partlysmith]

EVERYBODY HOLD THE FUCK UP

THAT IS ALL

[everythingkimpossible]

you tell her monique.

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[lesbianblush-deactivated2018053]

[novellearts]

oh my goddd. I thought it was great from the beginning but it only gets better

[doctormccoys]

..Yeah, I went on a date in New York.

[apicturewithasmile]

I appreciate John’s story but the fact that OP blurred out Amy Schumer is the funniest think I’ll see all week and it’s only tuesday.

[krystall-meth]

Omg I didn't know that was Any Schumer. That makes this post 100% better!

[bizarre-bazart]

[mmilhouse]

do you love the colour of the sky

[sundayroasts]

this is much better than the original.

[babyanimalgifs]