Dreambeliever

[gingik]

[tall]

[cringeunworthy]

I'm gonna get so much mileage out of this one

[neonfretra]

do you want to play dead bodies with me

[neonfretra]

floats along your dash face down and quiet and cold

[yellow-cat]

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

[ozempicofficial]

[maja-paja]

[toskarinfr]

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[srdcovka]

[cummunistbussy]

the fact that she revealed she lost a $3M deal to headline Wireless Festival in London for making this joke… only for Wireless Festival to then announce that Kanye West would be taking her place as headliner, face so much backlash for asking him to headline, have almost all the sponsors withdraw funding, and cancel the festival entirely is so funny to me.

[starridge]

having a pet kinda awesome wdym i got a little scoundrel running around named after the guy in dracula who eats bugs

[starridge]

my scoundrel eats bugs too. nominative determinism

[starridge]

the people have asked to see the scoundrel and who am i to deny you

mr renfield, ladies and gentlemen

[majomeowjo]

your thang looked easy to draw. he wasn't

[starridge]

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD

[mckitterick]

[rip-quizilla]

[theconcealedweapon]

[the-big-mood]

[ruinedchildhood]

[jauntylittlefrillyboy]

I will always take the cat's side. "she's drooling on me" you're so lucky "he always wants to be petted" then pet him "he's mad I won't let him on my desk" make room on your desk for him. I am your cat's defense lawyer and the cat is always innocent on the grounds of them being A Little Kitty Cat.

[creekfiend]

do you ever have an experience where you can immediately tell that someone is someone else's Least Favorite Coworker. like. last year when I was going thru the TSA on my way to visit Ship, I was in a wheelchair bc I always get the wheelchair service, masked up, bc I'm always masked up, and the TSA guy asked me what my visible monitor was, so I was like "it's a heart monitor" and he immediately rolled his eyes and in the most dismissive voice went "but you don't really NEED it, do you"

and when I tell you. the SPEED WITH WHICH one of his coworkers made herself appear next to me and just, placed herself between me and this guy and said "ok honey you just come over here with me" and did the rest of my security check herself without once even glancing at or acknowledging this man 😂😂😂 thank you ma'am. I hope your bad coworker gets fired soon