2020 really hit the fan, eh? We went from romanticizing about having âRoaring 20âsâ-themed shenanigans toâŚfeeling like weâre in the 2.0 of our era!
âI just wanted to wear the fun dresses, nothing more!!â
Oy veyâŚI attribute that incredibly basic thought to my love for themed parties, not an insensitive privilege or lack of awareness. At least I hope! Itâs so important to be aware right now, it HAS been in everything thatâs going on in the world, but especially with this virus.
I hope you guys are staying as sane as possible. As SAFE as possible for you and those around you!
I have re-started this blog so many times within the last year and EVERY time I would get this anxious feeling in my stomach about how well it would do or how it would be received. I looked back on my old chapters and thought wow, can I even be that inspiring anymore?
Now given our current situation, I feel the need to at least try. To put myself out there without insecurities! In all honestly, this can and SHOULD be much bigger than just me.
I want to create a safe space where we can inspire and motivate. Achieve and dream. Cry and fight. Be the best versions of ourselves and hey, sometimes the worst when we all have our off days.
With the current climate, I think itâs important.
It feels nice to talk to someone.
It feels nice to connect.
I think we can all help each other through this by sharing safety tips, stories, dreams for 2020 we can STILL make happen, and just overall being a part of that special community of honesty and love that you guys helped build back in the day! I am so, so thankful for you all. While we may have to physically distance ourselves, that doesnât mean we are alone.
We wonât let this virus knock us down! If anything, I think it has been incredibly eye-opening. I think itâs allowing us time spent where we would have been too busy otherwise. To paint. To cook. To clean out the closet under the stairs aka the dust bunnies of 2016. To blog <3
You guys. Itâs CRAZY that my last blog post was the beginning of 2017, given that I feel it was such a huge part of my life!
2017 was such a huge year for me in truly every aspect. It was incredibly chaotic, very high and very low. The worst of times, the best of times, a la Dickens fashion. You know I love to feel poetic.
Now itâs taken me some time to get back on my feet, even time since the original idea to re-start the blog, but even though I am all evened out and rejuvenated with life I tempted my past.
I visited my shadow. Cue somber music.
The shadow, although initially four years my junior, left me surprised with how incredibly articulate her thoughts were, as if she had stabbed into herself and let her heart, her soul, bleed in to words on paper, crying out, teaching, fighting for life and happiness and regrettably at times ridden with denial and hypocrisy. Maybe she wrote to remind herself what to do. Maybe she already knew and chose not to follow it or was uncertain.
Hey. Maybe she was just terrified of what she was actually thinking.
Maybe she was settling with her feelings because so much of her life had been heavy with poor examples and disappointment that she craved something to hold onto. Sheâd turn her rose colored glasses to any ounce of sunshine and try to cast it to memory. She didnât know how to resolve the conflicts in her life so sheâd brush it off and bury it away. Sheâd be silent. Why not be happy with the happinesses she was given, even if they came with faults? Why would she deserve anything more than what she had?
I was truly impressed by my full blog compilation, my poetic diss to myself, in a way. And trulyâŚI hope in four MORE years Iâll still be impressed by Kirstie 2.0, and 3.0 and so on.
It made me tear up. To know where I was in life through those rollercoaster years but how well I was expressing myself on my blog. My safe place. My place where I felt I could truly be me.
Thank you for being there for me.
Iâve missed it. Life threw me for a loop for a while! Iâve loved every second of my adventure since then. From kirstinTM to Broadway and living in NYC to tour to Christmas to new pup additions (shoutout to the Floofster) and getting to explore the world with old friends and new. Iâve gotten healthier, stronger, hopefully wiser!!
I got to spend time getting to know me. And how my friends and family play such special parts in my life.
So pardon the absence, but now Iâm back! Iâve missed connecting with you all!
I promise we will find ways to keep our heads high toward the future. We thought 2020 would be our yearâŚand even though it in a million ways hasnât been what we anticipated (when is any year, though?!) it does not mean that we have to roll over, quarantine-belly up, and submit to failure!
My hope is that we can inspire each other to be safe, great, healthy, and most of all happy. Iâll be sharing what is on my mind, what activities Iâve been up to (inside my house of course), maybe some recipes here and there if Iâm feeling crafty!? Letâs find ways to positively occupy our time while simultaneously doing something that fuels our minds and passions!
Iâve seen a quote floating around that I wanted to leave you with. The words spoke to my heart and the situation in a very Princess Mononoke way. Love you all so much and stay safe out there!!! Till next week!
âAnd the people stayed home.
And read books and listened, and rested and exercised,
and made art and played games,
and learned new ways of being and were still.
And listened more deeply.
Some meditated, some prayed, some danced.
And the people began to think differently.
And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless and heartless ways the earth began to heal.
And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again,
they grieved their losses, and made new choices,
and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully,
as they had been healed.â
Written by Kitty OâMeara, inspired perhaps by an Italian poem by Irene Vella (whose immuno-depressed husband has been ill during this period of Coronavirus)
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