BDSM 101: Roles and Dynamics
1. Dominant: Also sometimes referred to as a top. Dominants can be any age above the age of consent, sex, or size. Dominants take control of scenes or partners in their relationships with submissives.
a. Dom - A male identified Dominant
b. Domme - A female identified Dominant
2. Submissive: Also sometimes referred to as a bottom. Submissives can be any age above the age of consent, sex, or size. Submissives give control of scenes or themselves to their chosen Dominant in their relationships with them.
a. sub - The abbreviated form of submissive. Can be any sex.
3. Switch: A person who feels comfortable adopting both Dominant and submissive roles within BDSM. Switches can be any age above the age of consent, sex, or size.
1. BDSM provides room for individuals to create an infinite amount of roles within the Dom/sub community. Partners are encouraged to create a relationship that works well for them, using the framework, rules, and etiquette within the community. That being said, there are many commonly used roles, which have created the basic dynamics that make up BDSM.
a. Dominants and their submissives: Those who do not find one of the three more common dynamics to their liking often simply refer to themselves as Dominants and submissives. This removes much of the structure of the other dynamics, and allows them to create a BDSM relationship without further defining their roles.
b. Masters (Male Identified Dominant Role), Mistresses (Female Identified Dominant Role), and their slaves (submissive role): These relationships often begin with contracts, drawn up by the Master, and signed and agreed to by the slave. A dungeon setting or an abundance of leather is often an indication that a couple is playing within this dynamic. Those who are more sadistic or masochistic often play here as well.
c. Owners (Male or Female Identified Dominant Role) and their pets (submissive role): In this dynamic, submissives take on the role of many types of animals, often including bunnies, kittens, foxes, or puppies. These relationships often include cages, eating from pet bowls, submissives on all fours, and include such fashion as tails, ears, and leashes.
d. Caregivers (Male Identified Dominant Role is Typically Daddy, and Female Identified Dominant Role is Typically Mommy) and their littles (submissive role): This is often characterized as being the most nurturing of the dynamics. Littles often employ an innate or artificial age regression referred to as little-space, and will take on characteristics usually held by children ages 3-17, depending on what resonates with them. Caregivers use rules and tasks to provide structure within the relationship. The wearing of diapers (ABDL), pacifiers, onesies, stuffed animals, coloring, and other fashion and activities of youth are typical within this relationship. This dynamic has become immensely popular in recent BDSM history, especially within the Tumblr community.
III. Common Dynamic Abbreviations:
M/s: Master/slave, or Mistress/slave
DD/lg: Daddy Dominant/little girl
DD/lb: Daddy Dominant/little boy
MD/lg: Mommy Dominant/little girl
MD/lb: Mommy Dominant/little boy
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