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we're not kids anymore.
styofa doing anything
blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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shark vs the universe
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Monterey Bay Aquarium
izzy's playlists!
YOU ARE THE REASON
NASA
Cosimo Galluzzi
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
will byers stan first human second
seen from United States
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@kuruimizu
fantasy stories love to begin with the world's most razeable peaceful little farming village having a big grand festival
It's the best time to raze a village because there's usually people from nearby villages visiting for the festivities so you get to kill more people this way
A gun hidden within a bible, made for Francesco Morozini, Doge of Venice (1619-1694). The owner of the bible could pull the silk bookmark to shoot while the book was still closed. Now on display at the Museo Correr in Venice.
Parliament House, Valletta. Malta, October 2015.
I can't get past those familiar lovers !!!!!!
2060358456314568817
artist: ばぶち (@/Baikinnigou)
あの日の続きを聞かせて/2026
happy pride 🏳️🌈
ik nobody's talking about these songs anymore but I've been thinkin about this ship ever since ERB came out so... I call this "Confessions of a Rotten Ego Renegade Boy" because it's dumb and it fits them
genuinely obsessed w this concept now might draw these gay sillies more
Why People Pleasing Is a Trauma Response
Many people think people pleasing is simply being nice, accommodating, or caring about others. While kindness is a healthy trait, chronic people pleasing often runs much deeper. For many individuals, people pleasing is actually a survival strategy that developed in response to difficult or traumatic experiences.
Understanding why people pleasing develops can help reduce shame and open the door to healthier relationships and stronger boundaries.
What Is People Pleasing?
People pleasing is the tendency to prioritize the needs, feelings, and approval of others at the expense of your own well-being. People pleasers often struggle to say no, avoid conflict, and feel responsible for keeping everyone around them happy.
Common signs of people pleasing include:
Difficulty setting boundaries
Fear of disappointing others
Constantly apologizing
Avoiding conflict at all costs
Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
Seeking validation and approval
Neglecting personal needs
While these behaviors may appear helpful on the surface, they often come from a place of fear rather than genuine choice.
The Trauma Connection
When we think about trauma, we often imagine major events such as abuse, violence, or accidents. However, trauma can also result from chronic emotional experiences, especially during childhood.
Children depend on caregivers for safety, love, and survival. If a child learns that love, acceptance, or safety are conditional, they may adapt by becoming hyper-focused on meeting the needs of others.
The child unconsciously learns:
“If I keep everyone happy, I’ll be safe.”
“If I upset someone, something bad will happen.”
“My needs don’t matter.”
“I have to earn love.”
“It’s my job to keep the peace.”
Over time, these beliefs become deeply ingrained and can continue into adulthood long after the original threat is gone.
The Fawn Response
Most people are familiar with the fight, flight, and freeze trauma responses. Less well known is the fourth response: fawn.
The fawn response involves appeasing, accommodating, and pleasing others in order to avoid conflict, rejection, or harm.
Someone in a fawn response may:
Agree when they actually disagree
Suppress their feelings
Overextend themselves
Take responsibility for problems they didn’t create
Struggle to identify their own wants and needs
The nervous system learns that keeping others happy is the safest path. What began as a survival strategy eventually becomes an automatic way of relating to the world.
Why People Pleasing Feels So Hard to Stop
Many people become frustrated with themselves for continuing to people please even when they recognize the pattern.
The reason is simple: people pleasing is not just a behavior. It is often a nervous system response.
When someone attempts to set a boundary, say no, or disappoint another person, their body may react as though they are facing a real threat.
They may experience:
Anxiety
Guilt
Panic
Fear of abandonment
Fear of rejection
Intense self-doubt
Their logical mind may know they are safe, but their nervous system is responding to old experiences where asserting themselves felt dangerous.
The Hidden Costs of People Pleasing
Although people pleasing often begins as a protective strategy, it can create significant challenges over time.
People pleasers frequently experience:
Burnout
Constantly taking care of everyone else leaves little energy for yourself.
Resentment
When your needs consistently go unmet, resentment often builds beneath the surface.
Loss of Identity
Many people pleasers become so focused on what others want that they lose touch with their own preferences, values, and desires.
Unhealthy Relationships
People pleasing can attract individuals who benefit from poor boundaries and one-sided relationships.
Anxiety and Depression
Living in a constant state of hypervigilance and self-sacrifice can take a serious toll on mental health.
Healing the People Pleasing Pattern
Healing does not mean becoming selfish or uncaring. It means learning that your needs matter too.
Recovery often involves:
Learning to Identify Your Needs
Many people pleasers have spent years focusing on others and struggle to answer a simple question:
“What do I want?”
Developing self-awareness is an important first step.
Challenging Old Beliefs
Therapy can help uncover beliefs such as:
“I have to earn love.”
“Conflict is dangerous.”
“My needs are a burden.”
These beliefs can be replaced with healthier and more accurate perspectives.
Practicing Boundaries
Boundaries are not punishments. They are guidelines that protect your well-being and create healthier relationships.
Tolerating Discomfort
Setting boundaries may initially feel uncomfortable. Healing often involves learning that discomfort does not equal danger.
Building Self-Worth
As self-worth grows, the need for external validation often decreases.
Final Thoughts
People pleasing is not a character flaw. It is often an adaptive survival strategy developed in response to difficult experiences. What once helped you stay safe may now be keeping you stuck in patterns of exhaustion, anxiety, and unhealthy relationships.
The good news is that people pleasing can be unlearned. Through self-awareness, therapy, and intentional practice, it is possible to develop healthier boundaries, stronger self-esteem, and relationships built on authenticity rather than fear.
You do not have to earn your worth by constantly taking care of everyone else. Your needs, feelings, and voice matter too.
Connect with us Via Facebook or feel free to reach out via our contact page for more information about our services. We'd love to hear from you!
By Katherine Boulware, LMFT
Source: Why People Pleasing Is a Trauma Response
by ろくしょー
art republished with artist’s permission // not allowed for AI training
Smudging charcoal on paper with my hands gives me the ICK. I just can’t handle the feeling. I got goosebumps just thinking about it 😓But I love the style so I drew this on my iPad, and my hands feel clean and moisturized. Yay! ✨
city of moonlight ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
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