So you're a fan of damon and Elena right? why not for Stefan and Elena?
Why don’t I like Stefan and Elena? Well that’s a loaded question, and where could I even begin to explain it?
I could start from the beginning, how Stefan stalked Elena for a few months to make sure she wasn’t like someone he had a heated affair with 145 years ago. And by “stalked”, I mean that he literally must have followed her around, watched her interactions with her friends, with her brother, with her aunt. He probably spent time hanging out outside of her house to watch her through the window, followed her to the cemetery when she went to visit her parents. If that isn’t reason enough to immediately be creeped out, then I could talk about how Stefan lied about it all. How he lied about how he knew where her house was, how he lied about following her to the cemetery that one day. I could talk about how Stefan pursued Elena as a vampire while she was a mortal, knowing that they would never have a future together unless Elena became the very thing that he hated— a vampire. I could write an essay about how messed up that was, how Stefan inserted himself into Elena’s life and got her emotionally invested in him knowing that they had no future together, all the while keeping that a secret from her as well. I could also talk about how Stefan didn’t have a good handle on his bloodlust when he met Elena, and how I hated the fact that he was so incredibly selfish by endangering her life and the life of her friends by inserting himself into her life without being in complete control of himself. That, on top of everything else I just mentioned, is enough reason for me to abhor Stefan and Elena.
But I could go on. I could mention how Stefan not only lied about being a vampire, lied about how he knew Elena, but how he also lied about Elena’s resemblance to Katherine. How he never told her she looked exactly like one of his exes, and thought that he’d go so far as to sleep with her before telling her— which he never did, she found out— and use the excuse that he was “going to tell her”, but “couldn’t”. Or how about how he kept Katherine’s picture in his room “full of memories important enough to keep” for all those years, kept it there even while he was dating Elena.
But hey, we could even move past the creepy circumstances here and dig a little deeper, because let’s face it, Damon wasn’t the perfect saint in his early dealings with Elena either. The difference, however, is that Damon wasn’t pretending to be good. So Damon’s goodness came from a real place and not from a creepy place of lies and pretend. His journey was real, it was authentic, and it completely transformed him from what he used to be. But I digress.
I could talk about how I hate Stefan and Elena because of how manipulative Stefan is. How Stefan is a calculating, manipulative liar as Bonnie described in early season 1. I could rant about how he used the death of his parents to connect with Elena becoming an orphan, while neglecting to mention that he murdered his own father. How he targeted Elena where she was vulnerable and weaseled his way into her vulnerable heart. I could talk about how Stefan used the news that Uncle John was Elena’s biological father to get himself out of a sticky situation with Elena. Or how he used the fact that he saved her life, again, to avert the conversation away from how he kept Elena’s likeness to Katherine a secret from her. I could talk about how he used Alaric’s death to insert himself back into Elena’s life after a season of treating her like shit, and even going so far as to legitimately threaten to murder her and turn her into a vampire in the same fashion that she lost her parents I could talk about how Stefan uses his extreme guilt to victimize himself and gain sympathy from Elena and her friends and to avoid the consequences of acting like a jackass. I could bitch about how he also used and manipulated Damon, which would be a book in and of itself, and that would also contribute to my hatred of Stefan and therefore his relationship with Elena. Or about how he kept the fact that he wiped out her ancestors a secret from her as well, never told her how he “was worse than Damon” in his early days as a vampire until she asked him, while all the time he talked trash about Damon and attempted many times to poison Elena against him. So his hypocrisy is another thing I could talk about.
I could also talk about how I don’t like what Elena becomes when she is in Stefan’s presence. How she becomes too afraid to call Stefan out on his shit, how she blinds herself to his faults, and treats him like a saint when he is so far from deserving of it. And how she becomes so wrapped up in pleasing him and keeping him happy that she thinks about herself hardly at all. I could talk about how I don’t like how she and Stefan would go on romantic getaways while everyone else in Mystic Falls is taking care of the current crisis, or how they would go on romantic hikes in the woods on the eve of Elena being sacrificed in a creepy ritual instead of fighting for a way to divert it. I hate how Stefan constantly enabled Elena’s reckless and martyrdom tendencies, how he literally shrugged his shoulders at the near inevitability of her dying. I could also rant about how Stefan outright manipulated Elena and Damon at the ball, how he told Damon that protecting Elena was his job and yet stroked Elena’s false sense of self-sustainability by telling her that Damon needed to learn that she can take care of herself. I could rant about how Stefan made Damon promise to protect Elena no matter what in season 2, how he used Damon to keep Elena safe, and then treated them both like shit when they grew close in his absence. I hate how Stefan left Elena to drown at the bottom of a river, how he’d rather have Elena dead than alive and hating him. I hate how Stefan in all his glory let Elena time and time again throw herself into perilous circumstances without thought and how he expected Damon to pick up the pieces.
I could talk about how much I hate how Stefan used Elena to forget what he was, how he made her entire transition into being a vampire all about him. All about how he didn’t want her to be “this person”, and how he forced Jeremy to become an executioner to complete his mark and get the cure to fix Elena. I hate how Stefan blinded himself to the struggles Elena was having, and then bitched at her for going to Damon for help. I hate how Stefan undermines consistently Damon and Elena’s friendship and bond, and spent the majority of season 4 shaming Elena for being a victim of a sire bond with Damon even though she would have had no control over it. And I could talk about how much I don’t like how Elena dumbs down her fire when she’s in his presence, and instead of calling him out on his bullshit, she more or less just blames herself for what happened between them. I don’t like how Elena hardly ever stands up for herself with Stefan, how she deteriorated after dating him for a while into someone who couldn’t even stay mad at him after he threatened to murder her over the bridge her parents died. I could talk about how I don’t like that Elena felt so guilty about loving Damon— who has been a friend and a rock to lean on in Stefan’s absence— to such an undeserving Stefan, that she indirectly apologized for kissing Damon despite the fact that she kissed him in the context of Stefan nearly getting her brother killed for real and not giving two shits about it.
I could rant about how Stefan wanted to forget every single memory he ever had of Elena after she broke up with him, how he continued to treat her like shit even though he believed her to be sired. I could never ship Elena with someone who would make her feel like a broken toy, I would never ship her with someone who couldn’t love her the same way after a species change.
And I could also talk about how, even now in season 5, he is still the most selfish, egotistical jackass that he has been. How he goes so far as to murder someone because Elena wasn’t dating him, because he saw no point in not being a serial killer if he didn’t have any reward to show for it. I find it extremely gross how that’s literally the dynamic of their relationship, that Elena should be with Stefan because he will go on a ripper spree if she isn’t. And I never in a million years will support it. Stefan and Elena are the most destructive, gross relationship on the show and the prospect of them being “programmed” to be together in spite of all their disgusting themes makes them even worse.
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