be kind, be loud, be proud.

Alex | 21 | She/her | 🏳️‍🌈 | much of my time is spent hopping between AO3 pages | fanfic writer | currently obsessing over KPop Demon Hunters

[labellewolf13]

I wait for you in my dreams

Rating: General Audiences

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Relationship: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

Tags: Soulmate AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Language: English

Summary:

In a world where soulmates meet in their dreams Kara fears hers is lost to the rubble in space where Krypton used to be. She will soon find how wrong she is.

This fic and its title were inspired by this tumblr post, and a second chapter may or may not be coming soon ;)

[perfectimprecision]

you do not need to like garsantos. you can want santos with someone else, though i encourage you to at least consider the significance of having such a relationship on a show like “the pitt.”

however, you do need to recognize the blatant racism that has taken root in most anti-garsantos sentiments.

garcia is abrasive. at times, she can be mean. in season 2, the whole “nepo baby” situation is a bit aggressive.

but garcia is not aggressive. she, in the grand scheme of things, is not mean. her softest moments are with santos.

the conclusion that garcia is abusive, and the conclusion that she is sexually promiscuous, or a fuckboy, is rooted in racism. in prejudiced ideas that have been used to dehumanize black and brown women for centuries.

many have said this, and it is not my intention to repeat the sentiment simply for the sake of it. i bring this up again so that we might also consider the infantilization of santos that often goes hand in hand with this sort of prejudice against garcia.

with garcia painted as an abuser, santos becomes the abused. a narrative is crafted that frames santos as someone who needs to be saved from garcia, effectively stripping her of all her agency and autonomy. she is made small, relegated to the category or status of helpless victim, denied her full personhood.

that is infantilization.

it is also racism.

infantilization is a core tenet of racism.

when you engage with fan content, particularly of other santos ships, and particularly of barantos—though i appreciate barantos, there are a non-negligible number of works that present at least one of these phenomena—do not do so idly. just because it is not real does not mean that it has no bearing on what is.

garcia is not abusive. santos is not helpless. al-hashimi is not her savior.

stop denying these women their personhood. their humanity. stop making these complicated, nuanced characters into racist caricatures.

[tattletaylor]

We've had bodyswaps, but weve never seen Rumi's patterns follow her. Demon stuff ain't biological but what happens when she wakes up in Mira's body covered in patterns, when she covers herself exactly the same way she did in her own body and the other two are even more confused (if very releived) as to why upon realizing Rumi's body looks fine, no scars or any other signs. How badly would it fuck up Rumi to have proof they aren't only skin deep?

[gveret-fic]

Oh, thinks Rumi, as she looks down at Mira’s long, perfect, delicate forearm, marred by twisted purple lines. So it isn't just the way she was born. She should've known. This taint is just her. 

Mira thankfully has plenty of long sleeves in her closet; she runs cold. But of course, there are no high collars. Mira has such an elegant neck; there's no reason for her to hide it. Rumi has to rummage through the winter closet for a sufficiently light scarf. It's going to be a challenge in this heat. 

It's okay. Rumi loves a challenge. 

She's just finished covering everything when there’s a frantic knock on the door. 

“Rumi,” her own voice says urgently. Fuck, that's weird. “Rumi? Are you in there? Are you okay?”

“I'm okay!” she calls in Mira’s lovely, luxurious voice. Fucking weird. But also nice. “You can come in.”

Rumi's body spills into the room, with Mira’s effortless feline grace. The relief is crystal clear in her own face. And then Rumi is being swept up and squeezed firmly in her own arms. It’s—kinda nice. 

Rumi laughs. It sounds so good in Mira’s voice. “Hi. I'm okay. You okay?”

Mira nods against Rumi's neck, and Rumi feels an inappropriate surge of delight at being taller. “You run so fucking hot,” Mira grumbles, still holding on tight. “How are you not dying in these sleeves?”

Rumi takes a breath. The patterns are on her. They're in her. They're a mark of her inhumanity, her inherent corruption. 

No matter her current form, they shouldn't be on Mira. 

Rumi forces herself to laugh again. “Sorry. I guess I have weird temperature regulation. Wanna grab something from here?”

Mira lets her go with clear reluctance. Rumi feels guiltily gratified. 

“You used to have normal summer shit too,” Mira complains as she raids her own closet. 

“Yeah, I donated them, sorry.”

“Hm.” Mira shoots her an assessing look. “Can I..?” She gestures at herself. 

“Oh! Yes, of course! Let me—should I turn around?”

Mira’s look turns condescending. “It’s your fucking body.”

Rumi makes herself laugh again. “Haha. Right.” She doesn't look away as Mira peels Rumi's sleep shirt off Rumi's body. 

Except—it isn't. Rumi’s body. It has never looked like that, not ever. Smooth and clear and unmarked. Human, human, human.

So much more right, under Mira’s stewardship. 

She wishes—

Never mind. 

“That's better,” Mira says quietly as she pulls on a cropped top, and Rumi can't help privately agreeing. 

Yeah. It is.

[proudtoehaver]

“I was on a strict diet during Episode VIII, and she was like, ‘Kid, get into that fridge and take some chocolate bars. I have many there.’ And I did,” he recalls. “I failed my diet because Carrie Fisher told me to. And it [felt] great.”

-John Boyega on Carrie Fisher

[fuocogo]

This is the Carrie Fisher post of body positivity reblog for a chocolate bar from her fridge

[deepspacepirate]

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

[togepipi]

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

[chrysa3tos]

you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves

[labellewolf13]

I wait for you in my dreams

Rating: General Audiences

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Relationship: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor

Tags: Soulmate AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Language: English

Summary:

In a world where soulmates meet in their dreams Kara fears hers is lost to the rubble in space where Krypton used to be. She will soon find how wrong she is.

This fic and its title were inspired by this tumblr post, and a second chapter may or may not be coming soon ;)

[labellewolf13]

The second chapter is up! 👀

[quietwingsinthesky]

its so weird to me that cis people will dislike their name so ardently and yet. not change it. you guys know that’s an option, right. no one can make you keep the shit name your mom gave you. no, not even her.

[penrosesun]

One of my friends in undergrad changed his name because he didn’t want to bear the name of his abusive and absent father. It’s been years since he did it, and he still says that it was the single best decision of his life.

One of my friends in high school changed his named as soon as he turned 18, so that the ethnic name his family gave him was finally the name reflected on all of his paperwork. He told me that he understood why his parents had given him an “English” name, but that he felt that if he needed to assimilate in order to succeed, then that was a type of success that he didn’t want.

When I was on my way home from the courthouse after changing my own name, I got into a conversation with my rideshare driver, who was extremely interested once I told him what I was in court for, and wanted to know how I’d done it, how much it cost, was it difficult, etc. It turned out that his girlfriend had chosen the name “Yo-yo” when she came to the United States, unaware of how rare that was as a name, and that she was frequently made fun of because of it. Neither one of them had realized that a name change was so easy, and he told me he was excited to let her know that she had options.

There was an intern at a summer job I had once, who changed her name to be the same name, but a different spelling. She said that she had no idea why her parents had spelled her name so oddly to begin with, and suspected that it was just an honest mistake either by them or by some nurse, but it had been a headache for her entire life, and it was a huge relief to not need to be correcting people’s spelling on important documents anymore.

One of my exes legally changed his name to have an exclamation point, because he liked to sign his name with an exclamation point.

You can always change your name if you don’t like it. You always have that option. It doesn’t matter why – it can be conformist or anti-assimilationist, serious or silly, a minor change or a major change. Your name is yours, and you have every right to change it to be whatever you want.

[pathogenflock]

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.

[one-step-at-a-time25]

@winn-schott-throughtheheart

[andromeda40002019]

i love you im glad you exist im so happy you’re alive

[shatnerihardlyknowher]

Rb to tell prev you love them ur glad they exist and you’re so happy they’re alive

[alsowabbitwolf]

Not to be another person shouting into the endless Trinity Santos discourse that is tumblr dot com, but the nickname thing at the beginning of the show is very gymnastics coded. So when Santos reveals she's was a former gymnasts, oh my God did that click for me.

Take it from someone who has competed and coached for a decade of my life, I know Santos' thought process. Nicknames are proud badges of honor in sports culture, and I had so many teammates I only knew by their nickname. They weren't always pleasant either, and a lot of times, from one defining moment that stuck with us forever (see, Javadi passing out in the first hour). Gymnastics may look like a "pretty" sport but we had NFL bodies as adolescent girls and teasing/roughhousing was part of the culture.

When I wasn't in gym, I also gave my friends or people I had just met nicknames that I later learned were hurtful. I felt awful when I learned that I had hurt someone and I apologized ofc, but I understand Santos in these moments. There's no malice in any of it, and she honestly thinks she's making friends.

Santos is just a former gymnasts that's a little dense to reading the room.

[wiserteriaoverbarefeet]

i’m sure i could write an entire meta about how college gymnastics changes her relationship with the sport. but that would have to be another post

*peeks over with immense interest*

Could you, perchance, be persuaded into writing this post? 🥺🙏

i’m so sorry this took me a minute to get to, i hope you still see it!! i’ve been very brain fogged because of my health lately, and wanted to give this the articulation it deserves. not sure if i did bc i’m still so foggy, but here it is 😅

as a child and through her teen years, gymnastics is a chore. it’s something trinity does because she has to. and that isn’t to say that she hates all of it — she likes the feeling of accomplishment she gets when makes gets a new skill and she likes the feeling of winning. but gymnastics isn’t something trinity has passion for. rather, it’s an obligation. it’s something she associates with stress.

and for years, it’s solely about being the best. it’s about who can move up the fastest, who can make the most prestigious teams (TOPs, developmental camp invites, upper level optional and eventually, elite), and who can do it first. everything trinity does is out of competition and to appease her parents.

when she gets to college, though, the environment is completely different.

trinity goes from leaving school early most days to get to the gym on time, and training with girls who were homeschooled to optimize training, to being in college where gymnastics is secondary to academics.

there is also a team focus rather than the hyper individual mindset trinity was raised with. it’s something she struggles with because yes, these are her teammates, but they’re also her competitors. she’s never wanted to root for them because she’s essentially rooting for herself to lose.

but the girls on her new team treat each other like they’re sisters. they become so close and develop such genuine bonds and trinity doesn’t know what to do with that. she doesn’t know how to handle the lax scoring at competitions, the idea of entertainment being valued over integrity, and gymnastics taking a back seat to school.

it almost doesn’t matter that she doesn’t understand it though, because it persists either way. like when trinity’s injuries flare up in college — her coaches have her take time off. they tell her to go to the athletic trainer and allow her to modify her training and even miss practice when she needs to. and trinity isn’t the only one — all the girls are treated this way. they’re kind to trinity, they want the best for her, and so do her coaches.

she’s never punished if she falls at a meet. she’s never made to run suicides for talking back, or forced to stand on the beam with tears running down her face, not allowed to climb down until she throws the skill she’s absolutely terrified of. trinity is treated like an adult. she’s treated with dignity, respect, and autonomy — something she never knew could exist in this sport.

for the first time, trinity isn’t dreading going to the gym. she realizes it’s actually kind of nice to be around her teammates despite their occasional annoyances. and perhaps more importantly, her training becomes a physical outlet for her stress rather than the source of it. trinity can put all her anger into vaulting as hard as she can instead of directing it at herself. she no longer has to worry about being The Best 100% of the time because of how NCAA scoring works and because in the college world… people care a lot less about always being first. gradually, trinity learns to take it less seriously too.

obviously gymnastics never becomes her favorite thing in the world, but it becomes healthy. and at times, it’s even fun! trinity experiences hanging out with her teammates after practice to bounce around on the tumble track and try out fun passes. she plays for the first time in years by doing double fronts into the pit just for the hell of it, or seeing how many giants she can do on strap bar before her body gives out.

it isn’t a progression that happens over night — trinity doesn’t just become this relaxed, gym-loving person. but over time, she starts to loosen up. she starts to experience community and girlhood.

on the flip side though, there is definitely a grieving period. trinity spent her entire childhood operating at 100 with no rest, no understanding, no nothing — and now this is it? college gymnastics is prestigious, yes, and incredibly hard. especially D1 — there are so many elite and even olympic athletes who come back and compete at this level. but seeing how gymnastics can be makes trinity realize her childhood never had to be the way that it was. the abuse she endured never had a justification.

and that deconstruction is earth shattering to go through.

[wiserteriaoverbarefeet]

trinity santos & pre safe-sport gymnastics: pt 2 | pt 1

tw: discussions of abuse & CSA

up until the late 2010s, gymnastics culture was built on foundations of abuse. it went from the small scale, with individual gyms where coaches were making kids work out on injuries and pushing skills they didn’t feel comfortable training, all the way to the elites and olympic training center.

at this level — there was the larry nassar scandal, the national team coaches marta and bela kayroli, who were extremely abusive to multiple generations of athletes, and so much more.

in the middle of all this this, you would have programs like TOPs testing (the talent opportunity program) and HOPES Elite, where young but high level gymnasts would be pushed even further in physical abilities testing for opportunities to train with the national team coaches. up until 2017 — coaches would literally strive for their gymnasts to get selected to spend a week on a ranch in texas doing intensive work outs with coaches who were known and praised for pushing gymnasts past their breaking point (the same coaches who forced kerri strug to vault on a broken ankle).

for decades, these kids were groomed by everyone in their lives for a chance at being the best of the best.

so for trinity santos, her childhood would’ve been spent living as a pawn moving down this assembly line of abuse. and speaking up never would’ve been an option, because who do you tell when everyone already knows?

obviously all the coaches knew, and her parents likely did too. quitting wasn’t an option and moving gyms wouldn’t have made a difference because back then, they were all like this. and not only were they getting away with it, but the people at the top of USAG were encouraging it.

this is reflected in season 1, when trinity reports langdon to robby and we see her obsess over not wanting to get langdon into trouble. she doesn’t want to ruin his life, even though langdon had no reservations trying to ruin hers.

it isn’t far fetched to assume that if trinity had ever spoken up about her coaches as a child — that’s the exact reaction she would’ve received.

“they’re just doing their job — do you understand how serious an accusation like this is?”

anything trinity said would’ve been so easily used against her. because not only would she have been “overreacting”, but she was also seen as coming from a place of extreme privilege.

trinity was lucky to have parents who would drive hours and hours for her competitions and spend thousands a year on gym fees. she was lucky to have such sought after coaches and to have been provided with such opportunities. not only was the abuse normalized — but she should have been so grateful to experience it!

so trinity he gets to her residency, and for a moment, she looks at it the same way.

maybe langdon did something wrong, but maybe this is just how it is. maybe she needs to suck it up and be grateful that she made it to this stage in the first place.

trinity is carrying that mentality with her the way that she did in childhood, up until s2, where she’s too burnt out to keep spiraling. because even though s1 trinity is aware that what she faced is abuse, s1 trinity also hadn’t yet worked past the shiny & new facade of being a doctor.

beyond this, residency is fundamentally built on the same abusive structures that gymnastics is. med students & residents are expected to stay after their 12 hour shift has ended to pitch in. they’re expected to take verbal degradation from their superiors. they’re expected to deal with burn out and exhaustion and everything else because it is a privilege to have reached the point that they have.

so of course trinity is apathetic! of course she is absolutely over it, having to relive within these structures of power and oppression from her childhood.

i think it also really adds to why s2 trinity thinks robby is the only person in the ED making sense. because she might be witnessing him crash out in some capacity, but in her eyes — this is completely benign compared to what she was hearing as a child. if anything, robby is an amazing teacher compared to her old coaches because robby was the one person to actually look out for her.

by protecting her, he’s gained immunity in trinity’s awareness of the gymnastics/medicine overlap.

ultimately, people seek out what is familiar to them. it’s why so many folks who have experienced abuse in childhood end up with abusive partners later down the line. only with trinity, instead of seeking out toxic people (though, she is seeking out garcia) — she is constantly reliving the structures of her childhood because it’s the only environment she’s ever known how to exist in.

[wiserteriaoverbarefeet]

so much of why trinity is the way she is is because she grew up a gymnast. specifically, because she grew up a gymnast prior to safe sport.

at its core: gymnastics culture is the embodiment of achieving an impossible standard of perfection. it gives you an incredible work ethic but more often than not (especially in the 90s-early 2010s) is so damaging.

it means trinity grew up with 8am saturday practices, having to wake up at 5:30am for all-day competitions every other week, 4 hour long practices after eight hours of school, and then staying up all night to finish homework before doing it all over again the next morning

it also means being in an environment where if one kid gets caught cheating on conditioning - the entire team is punished for it with more reps

essentially throughout trinity’s entire childhood — she was held to a higher standard of discipline and responsibility than most of the adults in her life are now

so of course she thinks langdon needs to repent by telling everyone what he did. because gymnastics culture teaches you that the failure of one person is meant to be seen by the collective.

beyond this, so much of pre-safe sport gymnastics was about force. it was having your coach sit on your back to push you into a middle split, or press on your shoulders to force an over split. it was being made to train & compete on injuries, regardless of how much pain the athlete is in, because winning is more important than recovery

naturally, this is going to stunt trinity’s capacity for empathy. how would she know how to care that langdon is struggling with addiction, or coping with chronic pain, when she was doing high-intensity work outs every day for 10+ years on sprained ankles, pulled muscles, and possibly even broken bones?

if she was expected to suck it up and push through at twelve, then in her eyes — he can do that with his back pain at 35. especially because trinity is most likely dealing with chronic pain too, she is just ignoring it

beyond this — competitive gymnastics makes you so hyper aware your body. many gyms don’t allow their gymnasts to wear shorts over their leotards during meet season to prepare them for competition, so every day for 4+ hours — trinity would be wearing nothing but a skin tight bodysuit. meanwhile, she’d be surrounded by other girls with bodies she believed were better than hers, while hearing constant comments like “i can see your lunch” , “tuck in your belly” and so on

all of this ties into the perfection element — as aesthetics are crucial in gymnastics. there are so many rules about competition looks to the extent where deductions are written into the code of points regarding misplaced hairs, a visible bra strap, or visible underwear line

every single element of gymnastics is calculated and that obsession with control & perfection doesn’t leave just because you’ve retired

so of course as an adult, trinity is obsessed with being the best. of course she’s she using over confidence to mask her insecurity. if she lets it slip that she isn’t actually as good as she wants to seem — she’s vulnerable for attack

and if there is one thing that gymnastics has taught trinity, it is that if she wants to protect herself as an adult — she always has to be on the offense.

however, going into how the foundation of competitive gymnastics in trinity’s era was fully built on systemic abuse & how that impacts her characterization now, would have to be a whole other post.

[hostilehorsegirl]

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[funky-clown]

Saturday morning off