Survivor's Journey

A peek into my life with mental illness. WARNING: There will be triggering materials here.

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

Life's been good but it looks like it's time to kill off some hopes and dreams again because things can't be too good and stable I guess

[theplacethatevolutionforgot]

There needs to be more cosplayers like this.

[characterlimit]

“That’s the worst Batman cosplay I’ve seen in my life!”

“BATman? Well that explains it”

“What?”

“Why he looks like he dressed in the dark!”

“D’OOHHHHOHOHOHOOO”

[hesjayrich]

“Hey, look at that Bleach Cosplay over there.”

“Yeah, maybe if he pours some on himself he’ll fade away!”

“D"OOOOOOHHHHHOHOHOHOHOOOO!!!”

[sketchfan85]

“Scoobydoo?  More like scoobydon’t!!” 

“"Tell those meddling kids to,solve this mystery..the mystery of why their cosplay is so Bad!!”

“Dohohohohohohohohoho””

[hesjayrich]

“Hey, do you see those Crystal Gems over there?”

“Yeah. Maybe they can fuse into a decent cosplay!”

“DOOOOOOOOOHHHHHOHOHOHOHOOO!!!”

[the-gremlin-man-is-dead]

“Hey look, it’s Thanos!”

“Let’s ask him to snap his fingers!”

“Won’t that mean one of us might die?”

“If it gets rid of half the Deadpools here it’s worth the risk!”

“DOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOHOHOHOOO!”

[lennythereviewer]

“Hey check that out! It’s the Doctor!”

“Doctor, Who?” “Yeah, Doctor Who!”

“Think he’s got a PHD?” “Yeah, a Pretty Horrible Doctor cosplay!” “DOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!!!”

[tupacabra]

a soulmate is a person that won’t complain about any of my music when i put my ipod on shuffle

[a-soft-suicide-deactivated20131]

i complain about my own music when its on shuffle what are you talking about

[depressionarmy]

2020 Mood 

via  SophieAmazingTV 

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

When you seem to be on the edge of happiness but the universe seems bent on making it just enough to crack your heart. It's nothing time won't heal but disappointing none the less. It's just what I expected, seems like the things I want most aren't meant to be.

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

Love having absolutely nothing special about me at all. None of my accomplishments are noteworthy, nothing I can do is anything worth feeling good about because everyone else is more talented and accomplished than me. I'm just less than average and just need to stop trying to share special times in my life with people because it's not worth the slide when it's just brushed off because it's nothing compared to...

Maybe I should just step back for a while and stop sharing myself with people. Would hurt less than to keep being proven the whole world is better than me or that I've worked hard for nothing. Just going to hide for a while, lick my wounds and see if anyone notices I'm not around.

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

So many changes for the better for me but I'm still sitting here without so much constant stress like I've had feeling like my skin's too tight and I don't know how to make it stop on my own. I find myself reading certain things and desperately wishing it was me in those scenarios but I'm not sure where I'd even start looking for them or if I could find anyone that I can trust that much to help. I'm doing better but still have a long ways to go before I'm feeling my best.

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

Trying to concentrate on something because I can actually concentrate today. My mother waits until I'm in the middle of an intricate section of the pattern to start talking and expecting me to answer her but wants me to finish what I want to do but with the distraction of her chatter I keep messing up. It frustrates me because I've been trying to do this one little section for a half hour but keep having to rip out my work because of it.

What do I have to do to get a little peace once in a while? Why is it always my job to listen to her? I don't get the courtesy of being heard so why do I have to give it to her?

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

It would be so easy... Have everything I need, all alone for hours... Wouldn't have to live with the pain... Nobody would notice I'm even gone

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

That lovely feeling when you're worried about someone you love, have pressure to push yourself beyond what you're physically and mentally capable of doing from other sources, keep hearing how you fail at everything in life because you're being you and not the puppet they want you to be and your mental illness is trying to fuck you over with how much you suck because of it.

I need just a day away for a little fun, friends with me would be nice but at this point I just don't have the energy to convince anyone I'm worth spending time with even if it would be mutually beneficial. Just one day to not exist in the constant toxicity of everything, to maybe let my mind calm the fuck down so I don't constantly feel my skin crawling with urges because I feel so useless in eveything when logically I know most of it isn't in my control but it still hurts that I can't help with things I feel I should be able to because I'm not physically capable of doing it or don't think I'm good enough to be let in so don't blame anyone for not trusting me.

I don't know anymore, I'm trying to be strong but the constant stress is killing me...

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

When you're the one everyone in your family vents to but you're not allowed to say anything about yourself or your problems. When you have no energy to even take basic care of yourself let alone 5 other adults. When does it get better?

[curiano-life-quotes]

Curiano Quotes Life - #LifeQuote, Love Quotes, Life #Quotes, Live #Life #Quote, and Letting Go Quotes. Visit this blog now Curiano.com

[psychofactz]

Signs of a Toxic Person

1. Nothing you can say or do is good enough.

2. They comment on the smallest flaw or perceived imperfection.

3. They drag up your past and won’t allow you to be different.

4. They act like they are fabulous and never make mistakes.

5. They leave you feeling guilty and ashamed of who you are.

6. They’re critical, controlling and don’t think about your needs.

Keep reading

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I reached my breaking point last night, I probably should have gone in for observation it was that bad. All I hear is how much I'm doing wrong, how bad I am at everything in every aspect of my life and it's too much.

Yeah a few people tell me I'm the strongest person they've met but I don't feel like it. If i was really as strong as people think I wouldn't be thinking that if I were to die right now nobody would miss me. I wouldn't feel so lost and aimless and useless. I could keep handling everything life throws at me without feeling the need to hurt myself just to keep functioning. I'm so weak I can't even return the favor of support for my friends without them thinking I'll break...

I'm getting tired of the fight, when will it end?

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

I'm in one of those moods where I don't feel like if I were to die in my sleep tonight anyone would miss having me around until they needed something from me or relieved they no longer have to listen to me...

[ladydarkphoenixrising]

I have had one cereal bar all day and lots of liquid. That's enough to get by on for a few days. Not like anyone really cares

[curiano-life-quotes]

Curiano Quotes Life - #LifeQuote, Love Quotes, Life #Quotes, Live #Life #Quote, and Letting Go Quotes. Visit this blog now Curiano.com