Fries? Onion rings.

95% Captain Swan. What can I say, I love those two idiots. I'm rational on FF.net and AO3. Religious sideblog: hownowyourogue

[finishingschoolbooks]

How to Ride a Werewolf

Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…

[were-ralph]

That’s not how you ride a werewolf ill show you how to ride a werewolf !!

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[fantashic]

Average Deep Space Nine A plot: "What are you willing to sacrifice for the chance at a better world? Who are you willing to hurt? Will the pain you cause now outweigh the peace that it might bring? When both choices are bad, and you do what you think is best, can you live with yourself after? Could you live with yourself if you made the opposite choice?"

Average Deep Space Nine B plot: "What do we do with all this hot sauce!?"

[cecut]

what do red pandas even do

[cecut]

I MEANT AS SELF DEFENSE STOP THE HATRED im sorry red pandas

[sokkalore]

does this answer your question

[crit20lesbian]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[insanelydeadlybookcollector]

Chandler Bing's Classic Shirt

Or variations of it. But mostly the one shirt with the verticle stripe in lots of colour combinations.

Chandler Bing's Fashion Part 1 of ?

[insanelydeadlybookcollector]

AU Chandler still wearing the one bold stripe down the centre, he just never found the sale Real World Chandler Bing Did

[dragon-in-a-fez]

single funniest entry in Star Trek predicting the future

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[imalreadydashingthroughtheno]

[missjukebox8bit]

Most corporate social media accounts use memes to try and appear hip with the kids so they’ll buy their product but the Sparknotes twitter account is clearly just run by a literature geek who was told they could make memes about old books and is having the time of their life doing just that

[catchymemes]

[link-the-feral-anon]

When you remember the anti-vax movement

[burger-prince]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[captaincrusher]

Me filtering out kinks I don’t like on AO3. 

[mylittleredgirl]

i was thinking this morning about how i categorize fanfic authors that i enjoy like AKC breeds and decided to share my rubric with you:

the specialist: this author has a favorite kink or trope and has written 80% of the content in that tag. you know exactly what you’re getting. they have A Brand™️. no matter what other traits they display, dedicated rare pair authors belong here.

the chocolate box: essentially the exact opposite. this author will try anything once. they have 80+ works in the fandom with no discernible pattern. the shortest one is 268 words and the longest is well over 100k. this breed of author may or may not be related to:

the renaissance fan: they’ve written three things in your fandom: your favorite fic, your notp, and a bizarre crossover with a show you’ve never heard of. you hit “expand fandoms list” on their author page and have to scroll down twice to reach the bottom. whenever you curse the fact that you can’t legally commission fic writers, this is the author you’re thinking about.

the horn dog: they’re here for one thing and one thing only. if someone’s dick is not in another character’s mouth within 500 words, they apologize for it in the author’s notes. they have one (1) g-rated fic.

the rookie: this writer is usually young, new to fandom, or just got a beta-reader for the first time. their fics are a little all over the place, quality-wise, but you’re excited whenever their name pops up because their unique voice gets stronger every time. you feel a personal investment in their development, like you’re an old man reading the local high school sports page and saying “this kid’s the one to watch.”

the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-beta’d and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and you’ve read them 30 times.

the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic you’ve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says “thanks.”

the novelist: we talk about “filing off the serial numbers” when someone reworks their most popular story to pitch it as an original novel; this author somehow does the reverse. their fics are excellent, usually long-reaching multi-chapter AUs that have almost nothing to do with the on-screen characters except their names. i’d like to extend my personal thanks to this breed of author because it’s the closest i get to reading an actual book.

the reunion tour: this author wrote some of the most popular works in the fandom, but either moved on to k-pop or burned out when canon took a turn for the worse. they put out one new thing a year, often an old draft that’s been haunting them from under the floorboards. their last six author’s notes all say they never thought they’d write this pairing again and “this will probably be the last time.”

who did i miss?

[ouatsnark]

Emma changed because she was forced to be with Hook. DEBUNKED

Claim One: Emma only agreed to marry Killian because she felt like she OWED him and that she was in too deep and that every sacrifice she made was for Regina.

So if Emma is “in too deep” with Hook… does that mean they recognize all of the things Hook as done for Emma? Why else would they think Emma thinks she owes Hook something?

Truth: Emma never tells us that she feels like she owes Hook anything. Are they trying to twist around Emma’s reasoning for going after Hook in the Underworld? Because she didn’t do that because she felt guilty that she “owed him” something. I’ve heard them try to claim this before. But Emma goes because Gold took away Killian’s sacrifice and therefor he was dead for no reason. She believed he’d earned a second chance.

Claim Two: Emma only gave in to Hook because it was nice to be wanted by someone and she didn't have high standards for herself.

Emma was wanted by Neal (when it was convenient for him aka after his fiancé died) and she stood him up because she did have high standards for herself. She wasn’t going to be someone’s last choice. She also needed someone who would put her first and love her for who she was and that person was Hook.

Truth: Emma was shown to make her own decisions. When she wasn’t ready to do something, she didn’t do it until she was ready to do it. She didn’t want to be with Neal so she stood him up. She didn’t want to embrace being the savior so she was ready to run back to the safety of New York until she figured out, with Hook’s help, that she was going to embrace that title and stop running from her family over fear of being hurt. She had to come to those decisions in her own time. Someone that just goes with the flow doesn’t need time to reflect they just do it.

Claim Three: Emma only stayed with Hook because of her abandonment issues

Truth: Hook proving that he wasn’t going to abandon her is what allowed Emma to feel safe enough to open her heart to him. She has no issues over walking away from something she doesn’t want (she did so with Neal). So let’s not conflate things here.

Claim Four: Emma is aware of how selfish & self-serving Hook is but she chose to stay with him anyway

I have heard them state this but if you ever ask an anti-CSer for canon proof to back up this claim all they say is “just look at how their relationship is, you fool!” which isn’t proof which means there isn’t canon to back up this statement.

Hook found Neal and stepped aside for him. That is the opposite of self-serving. Hook sacrificed his life for Emma and her family knowing he’d be separated from her for eternity. That is the opposite of self-serving. He risked his life going against Pan to save David so that she wouldn’t know the loss of losing a father (he tried to stop David from telling everyone so no, he never planned for them to know this as he still wanted them to view him as a pirate at this time because he still had his walls up too)

Claim Five: Hook made fun of Emma's masculine traits and in order to be vulnerable she had to de-emasculate herself in order to stay with him. She was more herself in the pilot than she was in laters seasons.

I would ask for proof of when Hook made fun of Emma’s “masculinity?” Never mind that the idea that Emma is masculine is straight out of Swanqueen fanon where they like to pretend that Emma is poor-little-smol -bean-innocent Regina’s hero which is far from canon truth. Emma was never masculine. And Hook has never made fun of Emma.

In turn, Emma was never “de-emasculated.” The Emma we see in season 1 is the Emma hiding behind her armor of make-up, red leather and a chip on her shoulder. That is not the real Emma Swan. The real Emma Swan emerges as she grows and learns to love again and be a part of a family. It’s called character growth.

Claim Six: Emma was wearing Regina's shirt and dressing like her during 3B curse

Wait. Stop. No, she wasn’t? I mean yeah she had to borrow one of Regina’s shirts in S1 but there was nothing sexual about that at all. Henry stole that shirt for her. But Emma was not dressing like Regina in S3b … let’s be for real. Did they have JMO wear an article of Regina’s clothing because they re-use pieces all of the time? Well, maybe, it’s been a while but I know for a fact that the OUAT custuming budget swapped articles of clothing between characters all of the time.

Claim Seven: Emma's arc was about a strong woman who becomes pathetic because of a man regarding the underworld arc and the repeated phrase of hook saying you "should've let me go." and the whole fandom hates Emma for not letting hmn go and reviving him

These people do not understand or want to understand that the Dark Swan and Underworld arc was about Emma’s fear of losing everyone she cares for which in turn makes her fear the future. Yes, Emma should’ve let Killian go in Camelot but 1) she had the dark curse in her and 2) she didn’t want to lose another person she loved. She was hanging onto the darkness in the beginning because she was afraid if she let go of it she’d lose someone. This wasn’t Emma being “pathetic over a man” it was Emma not wanting to lose someone she loved for the 999th time.

And. Emma did let Hook go. She found her strength to walk through that portal without him because she had a son that needed her and an entire town depending on her.

Claim Eight: Emma Swan went down hill after she dated Hook and became a different person. Emma Swan in s3 wanted to take Henry back to New York because she was scared that staying in Storybrooke would be putting him in danger. BUT S5 Emma dragged her teenage son to LITERAL HELL to bring back a pirate that stole her sons fathers mother from him.

First off, let’s correct the record. S3 Emma used that as an excuse to run. Emma was running. She was looking for “home” and afraid that if she did stay she would be hurt again.

S5 Emma didn’t drag anyone to hell. She was going to go alone. Everyone insisted on helping her. Should Henry have stayed behind? Yeah, sure. But saying he was “dragged” there when everyone literally states that “they wanted to come” is hyperbolic.

The fact is that the CaptainSwan haters liked the closed off Emma with a chip on her shoulder because at that time she wasn’t with Hook. If Emma still evolved but was with their fave they’d be praising her character GROWTH. Because being closed off, always running and having a chip on your shoulder isn’t the best version of you. Emma evolved into a nicer person that didn’t have a chip on her shoulder but would still put a person in their place but who wasn’t afraid of love and who didn’t run for fear of being hurt.

Claim Nine: The CS relationship ruined her. It stripped Emma of everything that made her…… Her.”

What made her….her? Her make-up and curls? Does that define someone? What made her….her? Keeping everyone at arm’s length? Because that’s a great way to live! What made her…her? Wearing pants and a white shirt?

Or maybe what made Emma, Emma is:

Her willingness to put herself at risk for others happy ending

The way she was always seeking the truth no matter what

Doing what was right and not what was easy

Her willingness to give those that may not deserve it a second chance because she believes people can change

She did all of these things every single season.

What happened to Emma Swan? DEBUNKED

Ever so often the Swan Queen fandom gets it in their heads to try & tear down Emma Swan's look and character development simply because she

The above post covers the following myths:

MYTH: EMMA WAS FORCED TO CHOOSE HOOK

MYTH: GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDREN WAS NOT SEASON ONE EMMA'S HAPPY ENDING

MYTH: EMMA DIDN'T PUT HERSELF FIRST ANYMORE BECAUSE OF HOOK & WAS A SHELL OF HER FORMER SELF

MYTH: THE CHARMINGS' & HOOK'S LOVE WAS CONDITIONED ON HER BEING THE SAVIOR AND BEING WITH HOOK

Please see the above link for more details. These can be found at the bottom of the post. I didn't want to repeat content.

[ouatsnark]

i saw a youtube video saying that hook and emma were a forced relationship and they did a heel face turn while ignoring hook's previous misdeeds and even included the jab you with my sword scene and said august deserved better and should've been emma's love interest and also cs was only canon cause it was popular....ummm

Claim One: Hook & Emma were a forced relationship

Debunked: I mean I don't know the reasons they gave for saying this but I've laid some of the more popular ones out here:

Emma changed because she was forced to be with Hook. DEBUNKED

Claim One: Emma only agreed to marry Killian because she felt like she OWED him and that she was in too deep and that every sacrifice she ma

Claim Two: Hook's previous misdeeds were ignored

WHEN? Literally all of his crimes were addressed and he suffered real time consequences for them! Of all the villains he was the one to acknowledge his faults and feel guilt over things he'd done.

He was sent to prison for shooting Belle, he got punched by David... he went to hell and was tortured because he believed he deserved it for not being able to resist being consumed by ultimate evil... o

And after Hook's crass joke about the sword? What happened, y'all? He got a rock to the face!

Emma did not even entertain the thought of being with him until she noticed his willingness to change and that happened in the CaptainSwan movie. So she was well aware of what he'd done... but she saw the change happening inside of him and chose to forgive and see the goodness in the man he was becoming.

Claim Three: CaptainSwan was only canon because it was popular. Debunked: No, CaptainSwan was planned the moment the creators saw the chemistry between JMO & Colin. They'd always hoped to have Emma with Captain Hook and it just worked out.

CaptainSwan was fan service. DEBUNKED

“Did you always intended to have Hook in love with Emma?” “Always” - Edward Kitsis "… We loved the idea that Hook and Emma would be kindred

Claim Four: August deserved better and should've ended up with Emma

Most of this is answered in the above link and in this blog post: August Would've been a Better Love Interest but I will just reiterate this:

I do like that Emma and August became friends. I do wish the show had done more with that. But I can’t see them being more than friends. Emma needed someone who would always fight for her and while August did become a friend, and helped her when he needed to, he was never going to be the constant that she needed. Killian is that constant. 

August was also a victim; He was a toy child thrust into the real world, burdened by too much at a young age, and pretty much grew up on the streets with older kids as bad influences. But it 100% doesn’t excuse adult August’s actions even if he believes that what he did was in Emma’s best interest. I think her going to prison was just easier for August and Neal! There were other roads to take. And I don't think Emma would look past that to be with August.

ask continued: "also wanted to add that they (YouTube videos) didn't buy hook by s4 as a traditonal sweep you off your feet romantic when his first episode he was stealing milah away and humiliating rumple on his ship and also the jab you line."

Well, to tell you the truth... in SEASON TWO when all that happened, I did not see Captain Hook as a romantic figure either. He was a villain. Emma's adversary. We weren't meant to see him as a romantic hero there to sweep Emma off her feet! This also implies that we see Emma as a helpless princess and that's just not what was happening.

ask continued: Frenchvanilla: "but like that's called character development.....and hook being a pirate is literally not all to his personality you can see him being sweet, patient, and caring with emma and even henry before they got together. it's such a bad faith take"

100% agreed. It would be a very boring story if Hook showed up as a romantic love interest all perfect and ready for Emma. But instead the show gave us a truly beautiful redemption story of a man that had lost his way due to childhood trauma overcome all of that be the man he was supposed to be.

And agreed, we always saw a glimpse of the good that was in Kilian jones even when he was being a piratical pain in the arse!

[onceuponadaily]

”..Who are you? “

[killiancygnus]

Emma and Killian being cutie patooties  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  [32/?]

[lonestarflight]

Apollo 17 vs Artemis II

[mementochao]

Despite everything, it's still you.

-------------------------------------------------

Also prev tags:

That's really cool actually

[tanoraqui]

#excuse me but are you telling me that the Apollo pic is made with the help of the SUN and the Artemis one with the help of the MOON??? #that's actually so poetic i want to cry

@gorandomshesaid wait i need to sit with this one. wait.

[zillychu]

hey guys check it out I can do a frontside 180 with my stomach haha

[zillychu]

hopital

[zillychu]

just 4 u. I braved Phone Art while on Turbo Morphine (I think they called it dilaudid. it's Turbo Morphine 2 me)

oh ur super flexible? yeah well lmao can u do THIS??? (throws up and dies)

[zillychu]

u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days

[zillychu]

I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.

I found out my body cannot handle opioids.

my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.

do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA

they don't

[zillychu]

GUESS WHOSE HOSPITAL IS GETTING HIT BY A TORNADO

[zillychu]

made the saving throw 😎 not today, Satan

[zillychu]

Y'ALL WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT BIOLOGICAL PROCESS STARTED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY

[zillychu]

THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO

[zillychu]

I'd love to say this has been an educational experience, but unfortunately I run on Spite and simply vow to torture my blorbos even more now

which is saying something while being in the Vivisect the Half Dead Child fandom

[zillychu]

I LIVED BITCH!!

Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!

I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this

I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately

starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet

this guy is getting the true moral of this story

I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation

you and me both! isn't nature beautiful

you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are

god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse

I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too

did I stutter

[zillychu]

honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again

fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi

you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea

I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so

THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second

the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ

I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"

I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine

don't carbon date me like this

Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long

[zillychu]

the abortion was a success! (/silly)

they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating

what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!

the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?

to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.

all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”

I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call

EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn

[zillychu]

haha that was a fun near-death experience glad it's over though GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRED

[zillychu]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO

[zillychu]

my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky

I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often

- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends

- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch

- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️

- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself

- Murderbot TV series good :)

- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen

- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation

- who the fuck is Job

please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole

can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes

I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus

no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay

can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them

no this is Patrick

I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"

take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen

you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider

DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[greelin]

here’s a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. you, smacking me with a broom. both of us are yelling