¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jonny, 30, they/he, white

[crit20art]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

jonmartin vampire au!!

Summary: Struggling for income, Martin registers with an app that connects vampires with willing blood donors. His first client is not at all what he expected.

Rating: T

Word count: 4K (1/7 chapters)

Tags: vampires & vampire bites, canon tma vampires, getting together, mutual pining, body horror, non-sexual intimacy, power imbalance, fluff/angst, hurt/comfort, trans martin, sex-averse jon

[crit20lesbian]

Wow I loved the 2026 release that takes place in the future following a blonde protagonist named Grace who is pulled from an isolated life to investigate a biological threat and ends up swept up in an adventure where they meet a mysterious stranger with no eyesight and through getting to know that individual start to grow out of their risk-averse habits, leading to them eventually putting themselves in peril to save their new friend. I especially love that after a brief scare where it seems their new friend may have died despite them doing everything in their power to help, they both end up living a happy life together, finding love and meaning in a non-romantic relationship. Also they neutralize the biological threat and save the world somewhere in there.

Also there’s an extremely badass blonde government operative in their late 40s who might have been written as a romantic interest in a lesser story due to being the “opposite” gender of the protagonist, but is instead a mentor of sorts who ends up becoming a friend. Don’t worry about the shocking and pivotal moment of the story where this mentor does what they think is best despite the protagonist begging them not to. It all works out in the end. :)

[crit20lesbian]

Scream ok in PHM (movie, idk if it happens the same in the book (but I do plan to read it!)) you know how Rocky sends the final “message in a bottle” right into the airlock bay so that Grace doesn’t have to spacewalk to get it? It occurs to me that he sent the first attempts at the center of the ship, where he estimates Grace’s airlock to be, based on the layout of his own planet’s ships. So his intention was definitely never for Grace to have to come out into space to get it.

In fact, I think when a funky little alien floated out of the ship in a bulky suit on a thin-ass tether and awkwardly crawled its way along the side of the ship to catch the second message, revealing that the ship had no technology for altering its structure, Rocky was probably like. oh so this species is stupid and insane. Got it

[cedardivine]

i think there is a statue of grace. on the campus of the university where he got his phd. it's a big base, like the statue atop it is going to be a larger than life hero standing brave. but instead it is him, life size, sitting with his feet dangling off the edge and turned slightly to the side like he is in conversation.

there is room to sit next to him. students like to hop up and sit next to dr. grace to get advice, vent, just take a minute. he's a friend to all on campus

[crit20lesbian]

Ok be honest does my prose sound like the last reblog though lol

[cheaphalloweencostume]

The iron hook slid free from his shoulder with a wet metallic shriek. Something black and arterial splashed across the stones between them.

The torturer stepped back instinctively. Not out of mercy. Out of surprise. The prisoner laughed. Not loudly. Worse than loudly. Softly. Like he had just remembered a private joke older than civilization.

“You still think pain is a language,” he said.

Another blow. This time across the mouth. Teeth cracked. Blood sheeted down his chin in long ribbons.

The interrogator hissed through clenched teeth. “Tell me where God went.”

The prisoner turned his head slowly. There was blood in his smile now.

“There are organisms,” he said, “living beneath Antarctic ice that have never seen the sun and have still learned how to eat.”

The room had gone very still. Somewhere in the dark, machinery groaned.

The interrogator grabbed him by the jaw hard enough to bruise bone.

“You think this makes you immortal?”

The prisoner spat a clot of red onto the floor between them.

“No,” he whispered.

“I think it makes you temporary.”

The torches flickered.

For one impossible second, the interrogator became aware of his own pulse. The heat in his veins. The soft wetness of his eyes. The damp animal electricity inside every living thing. The prisoner watched realization bloom across his face and smiled wider, blood running between his teeth.

“You cannot threaten a creature from the dirt,” he said, “with returning to the dirt.”

— excerpt from Shit I Just Made Up To Exemplify How All This Tumblr Prose Sounds

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[primeministerofantarctica]

rocky: im not a scientist, im like the least qualified person on this ship, the only reason i survived while the actual scientists died was pure dumb luck :(

ryland grace's internal monologue like every five seconds: oh my god this guy is like a supergenius, he's literally the best engineer i've ever seen, there's no way every other eridian is this smart, like do you even KNOW how cool you are-

[maglor-and-the-voices]

meanwhile grace is like: im a coward, im selfish, i put myself over the entire world, im not brave

and rockys like: grace is the bravest person ive ever met. he is brave and selfless in ways he cannot see yet and if he will not tell himself that then i will say it for him

[cedardivine]

i think there is a statue of grace. on the campus of the university where he got his phd. it's a big base, like the statue atop it is going to be a larger than life hero standing brave. but instead it is him, life size, sitting with his feet dangling off the edge and turned slightly to the side like he is in conversation.

there is room to sit next to him. students like to hop up and sit next to dr. grace to get advice, vent, just take a minute. he's a friend to all on campus

[stiffyck]

Do you think the first thing Rocky noticed about Grace when they first met was his heartbeat?

[jarondont]

we will make it

[wine-dark-sky]

I was so scared they were heading for a romance subplot but congrats to Project Hail Mary for going for the far funnier option of 'Trolley Operator' and 'Guy She Is Actively Tying To The Tracks'. What a dynamic. Movie of the year.

[song-of-baldy-ron]

Ryland Grace is first shown teaching human kids about sound waves (which they can’t see) and ends the movie teaching Eridian kids about light waves (which they can’t “see”)

[rylandsgrace]

[shastafirecracker]

eridian children in Grace’s class interested but slightly disappointed to learn that much earth life is bilaterally symmetrical with even numbers of limbs

Grace going “oh!! But!” and teaching them about starfish, to their absolute delight

new eridian schoolchild trend of starfishing aka flopping flat down with all legs out and moving by wiggling and squirming around, giggling. parents hooting at Grace in despair. why did you teach them this

[xushibeetle]

Loved this idea so much I had to draw it ☆

[autisticlittleguy]

"Grace Ryland is Rocky's dog" is such a funny fucking dynamic when you think about it

Eridians are further behind than humans technologically right? They dont have computers, relativity, quantum mechanics, etc. In fact, Eridians probably dont even know about the Big Bang because their atmosphere would filter out most of the cosmic microwave background radiation we use to detect it. On a human timeline, theyre anywhere between like early-mid 20th century. Rocky's basically a cosmonaut.

So the human civilization is pretty advanced from Rocky's perspective. Rationally he understands this. On a conceptual level he knows this to be true.

But at the same time... imagine youre one of the first ever cosmonauts to make it into space. Then you meet a 10 year old alien dog who cant do 2+2 without pulling out its calculator. It forgets everything constantly and has to keep notes everywhere, like it basically lives in Memento (2000). Also if it doesnt nap constantly it gets even stupider. And you somehow has to reconcile this with the fact that this dog has a better understanding of physics than your entire civilization does. Like the dog knows how the universe started.

[skapediem]

if it's any consolation, you'll be hailed as a hero