one of the most fucked up things about the internet is how it has given us so many new ways to self harm that we don’t even realize is self harm. it’s something i’ve seen getting addressed little by little recently, as it’s finally being recognized for what it is.
it’s the kind of addictive behaviour we engage in that doesn’t actually benefit us in any way, such as:
- Reading The Comments
- ruthless discourse that won’t accomplish anything
- checking up on people and topics you shouldn’t
- 90% of body image stuff
- constant stream of devastating news
and so on, and so on!!
there are suddenly far less barriers and boundaries between our hearts and the entire rest of the constant, churning world, and sometimes the only thing holding us back from pointless hurt is our own willpower. that’s not always gonna be enough.
we feel shame for turning off anon, for blocking those who hurt us without giving them a “fair chance” first, for leaving a discussion, for leaving a space, for going offline, for missing out. we keep martyring ourselves, and for what? our hearts are not made for this.
we’re still adapting to whatever internet culture is and does to us. remember to breathe and forgive yourself every once in a while.
small steps you can take to get out of cycles (or at least what helped me):
- take stock of just how much time, energy and emotion you pour into something that doesn’t give back, and find out what’s Gotta Go
- “i’m only going to check this thing ONCE a day”, then week, then month, but at that point you probably no longer have a strong compulsion to Check
- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing right before bed, because it will just make it hard to sleep”
- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing first thing in the morning, because it’ll ruin my whole day”
- forgive yourself if you fail!!!!! just breathe. take a walk
our hearts are not made for this
This is so important.
