u know what yeah, letâs talk about weird nonsense plants
these plants imitate rocks. who does that?
imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now iâm remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.
ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.
overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. âho ho ho iâm just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, thatâll show em!â Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk
manages to be both psychedelic and disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great auntâbut like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, iâm gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays
yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:
they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.
aka Catâs Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesnât stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. iâm immensely fond of this plant. theyâll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant!Â
total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like theyâre trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckersÂ
in conclusion, three cheers for whiny, namby-pamby, scatterbrained plantlife
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