bad news

When I was a boy, my village was attacked by raiders from the northern plains. They were slaughtered where they stood, my father, my mother. Everyone. I alone escaped. I vowed that day that never again would I be helpless in the face of tyranny. I made sword craft my life. Every waking hour since that day, I devoted to the art of combat, and when I was ready, I set forth for Camelot. Former sword-for-hire, current Knight of Camelot. [Independent RP blog for BBC Merlin's Lancelot]

[kordeisgf]

who on earth’s that?

[askcamelot]

Lancelot, is it hard to keep Merlin's magic a secret? :o

[deceitfulcharmer]

[Hello friends, I’ve noticed a few people are having problems trimming posts with this update so I figured now’s a better time than ever to show an alternate way to trim posts if you don’t want to download more extensions and such.

Firstly, reblog the post and write your reply. Once you’re done, click the gear icon and switch to HTML editing:

Highlight everything after the first <blockquote> tag up to the first <p> tag before your partner’s latest reply

Delete all of the highlighted text and switch back to regular editing or preview or w/e and then post.

Your post is now trimmed and ready to go! This also works wonders on the mobile browser version of Tumblr if you ever find yourself needing to trim threads on mobile.

Hope this helps someone!]

[lancxlot]

Cheesy Pick Up lines meme

"I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry."

"I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?"

"You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!"

"I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it."

"I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world."

"Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you."

"I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?"

"You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?"

"Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!"

"Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte."

"If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you."

"I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."

"If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?"

"Something is wrong with my phone...it's just that your numbers not in it."

"If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one."

" Is your name google? Cause you've got everything I'm looking for."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

"Your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine?"

"Are you a tower? Because Eiffel for you."

"Do you have a name or can I just call you mine?"

"Can I give you a kiss? I promise I'll give you it back."

"Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling."

"There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you."

[medusaceratops-deactivated20210]

why have a regular high school au when you can have a sky high high school au

hormonal teens and superpowers

[hanari502]

Wait a second

if I’m Asexual, and you’re Asexual

THEN WHO’S GIVING A FUCK???

[lancxlot]

gonna hold off on replying to things until after my finals are over, aka Wednesday the 20th. i’m attempting to not procrastinate, at least. 

[toomuchtelly]

Ask Memes;; Tumblr Post Edition

And then Satan said “put the alphabet in math”.

Sometimes I think I’m sassy and then I realise I’m just too sarcastic and borderline mean.

Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on? 

I love sunglasses! Am I looking at that tree? Am I looking at your dick? Who knows!

This is the police, open up, tell me about yourself, don’t be afraid.

Raise your hand if you’re a lil’ bit of an asshole. 

Why don’t people do random nice things for me? You know, send me a message, draw me, paint me, send me three hundred thousand dollars.

I am three years behind on math homework. 

I don’t like your clothes; take them off. 

What if you start making car alarm noises when people you don’t like touch you?

Hey, is your girlfriend seeing anyone?

I get butterflies when I think about myself. 

When you see a good body and you just can’t think of a good pun. IT’s dev-ass-tating.

Umm… hi. My friend wanted to know if you think I’m hot. 

To quote Hamlet, act three, scene three, line ninety two, “no.”

I never run voluntarily so if you see me running, you should probably run too because something must be coming. 

I’ve got a masters degree in being ignored. 

I will do a lot of things, but admitting to my mum that I’m cold after she told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them. 

Dads are either too nice or assholes; there’s no in between.

On a scale of fake pockets to nachos, how good is your idea? 

I’m alive, but only ironically. 

I’ve been in a bad mood since two thousand and seven. 

No, you’re not as funny as me. Stop trying. 

Just suck my dick, bro. I said no homo like, five times. 

I love it when people try to hurt my feelings because I don’t have any. 

-sighs- Why am I better than everyone? 

I don’t trust people who can look good with messy hair. 

If my jokes offend you - one; I’m sorry. Two; it won’t happen again. Three; one and two are lies. Four; you’re a pussy. 

If I go to hell, I’m just going to torture everyone by continually asking if it’s hot in here of if it’s just me. 

My love is like a candle; if you forget me, I will burn your fucking house down. 

Let’s play a game called “Guess My Sexuality”. 

I’m angry and quite offended that you don’t have a crush on me. 

Are you from Europe because europiece of shit. 

[katiemcgrath]

❋ Merlin meme: [¼] Relationships (Brotherhood) Merlin + the overprotective big brother Knights 

[dragongirltitties]

reblog if your icon is a beautiful cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

[lancxlot]

neckerchiefsandmagic this is what came up when i googled this question

So, she's never seen a diamond 'in the flesh' (i.e. in real life, not on a screen or picture.) She 'cut her teeth' (began learning, gained experience) about diamonds from seeing wedding rings in films.

[lancxlot]

“How do you even cut your teeth on wedding rings?”

make things interesting

“—You know, I’m not sure.Though I have heard thatyou should bite gold to seeif it’s soft enough to be real,so…maybe it’s saying that the rings are too hard to be genuine gold? But that’s justa guess.”

[lancxlot]

“You look really familiar. Do I look familiar? Have we met before?”

make things interesting

“Hmm…You know, I think we may have,though I couldn’t tell you where or when.”

[lancxlot]

imtheblacksmithsdaughter | [continued from here]

“Indeed. I’m sure there’s some way we can keep from dying of boredom while we wait. A bit of conversation, yeah? So. Where are you from?”

[imtheblacksmithsdaughter-deacti]

Gwen couldn’t help but give the man a slight smile. “I’m sure it would come right out in the wash. I’ve faced far worse than coffee stains.”

[lancxlot]

“Even so, I’m so sorry for inconveniencing you---there must be something I can do to make it up to you? A new coffee, perhaps?”

[lancxlot]

neckerchiefsandmagic | [continued from here]

Merlin’s sincerity showed in his face, his voice,  and  Lance  felt  honored by the trust there. He knew his friend  could not afford to give out  his  trust  freely--that was a luxury  he’d  never known. 

“Thank you,” he said.  “But I know if you ever do, it will be out of necessity, and for a noble reason.”

[lancxlot]

“Ah. That…would be because I got lost. I had a close encounter with a griffin that, er, pushed me off course.”

[mw-archive]

He wasn’t sure if he actually believed that but, then again, the man hadn’t drawn his sword on him. “Alright,” he said simply, “I’m Merlin and you’re trespassing but… I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt though I’m not sure what you’re expecting from Essetir.”

[lancxlot]

“Lancelot,” he answered in greeting. “I’m sorry for the intrusion - if I could have found my way back to the main road, believe me,  I would be on it.  I only wish to see for myself what this kingdom  has  to  offer---I’ve  visited  many, and found that each is unique.”