Sex. It’s supposed to be one of the most satisfying, fulfilling experiences. However, sometimes, things tend to get in the way. You may have heard of PTSD. Most people commonly associate the term with war veterans. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event; either experiencing or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event. This condition involves persistent mental and emotional stress as a result of injury or psychological shock, typically involving disturbance of sleep and constant vivid recall, with dulled responses to others and the outside world.
One of the many things people find most frustrating about living with PTSD, is the impact it has on relationships. The issues PTSD can bring to relationships don’t just vanish by themselves, so let’s analyze some possible challenges PTSD symptoms can invoke on intimacy. Even in healthy, happy, long-term relationships, individuals with PTSD can experience significant fluctuations in sex drive. This isn’t so much physical problems regarding performance as much as it is cognitive barriers towards engaging in sex. For example, one may experience cycles from what may be considered an active, normal sex drive, to sexual anorexia or complete avoidance of intimate contact.
“Studies show that regardless of the type of trauma experienced, individuals with PTSD are three times as likely to suffer similar sexual dysfunction. According to researchers, one of the essential reasons for this is that PTSD symptoms can be in direct conflict with pleasure, intimacy, trust, and feelings of safety. The same arousal that occurs with sexual activity can also heighten involuntary reactions such as fear, self-loathing, or disgust. These reactions can manifest at any time. In other words, PTSD affects sex drive for many reasons.”
Dealing with drive changes and PTSD can be frustrating at times. As with many of the complications that come along with PTSD, understanding how it may disrupt sexual activity is a huge step towards coping. In the middle of a heated moment, a subtle trigger can cause the individual to feel out of control. Feelings of threat could instigate dissociation or a fear response.
If triggered, an individual might shut down without explanation. Maybe even worse, negative feelings or insecurity can make them worried and scared or frightened for the relationship. In this case, the person can force themselves to carry on even if they find it uncomfortable. “By discussing with a partner how PTSD can flatline sexual desire on an involuntary, unpredictable basis, we open the door to understanding. We also increase the probability of more consistent sexual arousal over time. An individual with PTSD can let go of apprehension over deflecting a partner’s affection and stop making excuses to avoid intimacy, leading to more relaxed and natural interactions.”
If you suffer from PTSD and notice it hampering your sex drive, remember that you deserve someone who will empathize and hold compassion for this struggle you are undergoing - A partner who is understanding and willing to stand by you as you overcome this complex issue. Because you can and will overcome it.
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