Cass

Come for the shitty humor, stay for the quality content

[catchymemes]

“My mom painted this and said no one would like it. It’s her 2nd painting.”

“I painted somebody’s mom”

“Took a while and not perfect, but i painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom”

“I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guy’s mom who painted an egret”

“I painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the mom who painted a bird”

“When it sinks in that I stayed up most of the night to paint a meme for internet points…”

[yetimati]

…And nobody thought to post other “branchs” of this chain? Yes, it’s ‘branchS’, plural, because apparently we also have these:

Bit wonky, but I painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan.

Bit shitty, but I painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan

I painted u/Shitty_WaterColour who painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted the lady who painted the swan

I painted u/color_on_a_page who painted u/Shitty_WaterColour who painted the woman who painted the woman who painted the guy who painted someone’s mom who painted a swan

Oh well, here’s yet another layer

Another branch, starting from the girl with the white background:

Took an hour or so but I painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom

I didn’t like how reddit treated the iPad guy so I painted the guy that painted the girl that who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom on my iPad.

Continue from OP’s branch:

I haven’t painted in two years and I’m glad for the inspiration!!

A painting of the guy who hasn’t painted in years painting the guy who painted the girl who painted the guy who painted the girl who painted the other girl who painted the guy who painted the other guys mom

Same ‘level’ as the one above:

Usually lurking but not today…plaid was a great challenge!

Continue! With a cat!

We painted the guy that painted the other guy who hadn’t painted in 2 years who painted the other guy who painted the girl that painted the guy who painted the girl that painted the guy that painted some guy’s mother who painted a swan whilst making them all an NPC in the process

Honorary mentioned:

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!!!

And finally, The Great Family Tree (some branch is not in the picture, pls click the link below for the full list:

This seems necessary…

https://nubleh.github.io/i_painted/

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My favourite part of this is watching each artis incorporate the previous artist’s style in the part the previous artist painted.

[ruskiizek-deactivated20180227]

Slavic Cossack dancing known as Hopak 

Warning: Do not try this at home unless you were born with super Slavic knee strength 

[maneuverability]

THE GUY AT THE END

[kittydesade]

Ahahah it’s not just knee strength you need, friend. It’s thighs, ass, ankles, calves, you need everything from your waist down to be horrifyingly fit and toned for this.

Also core strength. So include the waist. Everything from the nipples down. 

[kindnessinsilver]

Don’t forget absurd back flexibility

[lazy-cat-corner]

 “Ballet is a really hard dance to master.”

Slavic dancing: “Hold my beer.”

My thighs are burning just watching.

[unmooredonasundayevening]

writing tip: don’t tell us your character’s backstory. don’t tell us what your character is thinking. don’t tell us what your character is doing. don’t tell us anything. the reader should simply look at a blank page and be suddenly overcome with emotion.

[clinticalthinkr]

Good tip. I know a lot of writers who cry uncontrollably when they see a blank page, so I’m sure that feeling will translate directly to the reader.

[larrylavida]

It should all be in the subtext, read between the nonexistent lines.

[insomniac-arrest]

late night cashiers at 24-hour convenience stores are the holders of our greatest secrets and most intimate selves

[insomniac-arrest]

not my mom, not my partner, not God himself has seen me no-make up in line to buy a choco-pop and panty liners while on the brink of a heart felt meltdown

no one has given me the empty stare of complete indifference that fills my anxious nerves with relief

there is nothing like the sweet freedom of complete nihilism experienced at a 7/11 at 2am, God lives in church, the randomness of the unfeeling universe lives at aisle 9 of CVS 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what a fabulous and also philosophically horrifying tumblr post, thank you so much

[anarcho-smarmyism]

god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face

and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT

[anarcho-smarmyism]

Villain Origin Story

[stuckuptumblercunt-deactivated2]

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

[anarcho-smarmyism]

canon.

[thor-20]

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport

[larrylavida]

Shiro Cosplayers Go Through Enough Shit

The Fandom: We want to cosplay Shiro !

Voltron Creators: .... Okay, have long hair AND short hair !

The Fandom: No th-

Voltron Creators: Plus a metal arm !!

The Fandom: Wait, P lease-

Voltron Creators: how about three more hairstyles !!!

The Fandom: I Just Want-

Voltron Creators: AND NOW HIS ARM FLOATS !!!!

[stardustinjune]

My wrist hurts after months of working on this, so please enjoy this product of my pain. Also. Like. MAJOR SPOILERS.

[teenagecrush]

[taylortut]

peter retaliating against “baby monitor protocol” by changing the names of Tony’s Iron Man protocols

“hey FRIDAY, zoom in on that building over there”

“Old Man Bifocals protocol activated, Boss”

“what the fuck did you just say to me”

[taylortut]

“FRIDAY alert the team that my thrusters are down and i can’t fly”

“sure thing, activating I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up Protocol”

“PETER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

[spider-man-stan]

Tony: FRIDAY, open these encrypted files we don’t have a lot of time-

FRIDAY: activating the Fr E Sh A Voca Do protocol

Tony, sobbing: PETER WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES THIS MEAN 

[taylortut]

AMAZING

[bluesocksandfluff]

-Peter gets hurt in a battle- FRIDAY: Bone Hurting Juice Protocol has been activated - Mr. Parker is in distress. Tony: -stops- He’s what?  The what? Peter: -over the com- Oof, ouch… my bones…

[indigowallbreaker]

Tony: FRIDAY! Engage autopilot!

FRIDAY: Activating Jesus Take The Wheel protocol.

Tony: Really, Pete?

[memedong]

hi

[moth-suggest]

h.. h… hi…. *flutters around and taps your porch light*

[memedong]

:o o..h. wow…. such a beautiful specimen…. it would be a shame if…. *licks lips* something happened to you…. *swallows you whole w/ no remorse*

[moth-suggest]

*squirms and flutters in your mouth as you swallow me* aaaaaHHH moth-er help.. m.e….. *falls in to stomach*

[memedong]

*begins digesting you* a..a..a-h…. so good..i-im hard….

[moth-suggest]

*dissolves in stomach acid* o…ohh….oh…ow…… *gives one last flap of my soft wings before I dissolve in stomach acid*

[memedong]

*eats your remains* mMMH!! th-that sure was tas..ty…..!!!!! those s-soft moth power w-wiings……..

[moth-suggest]

*as im digested my god like powers are absorbed by you*

[memedong]

w-whats this..?? i feel… i can feel…..All of time & space.. absorbed into my brain.,. !!!!! *freezes time, rewinds, & restarts this post*

hi

[moth-suggest]

h.. h… hi…. *flutters around and taps your porch light*

[memedong]

:)

[moth-suggest]

*flies, hitting your porch light again and again* -tap-tap-tap- ohh.hh.. th.. the light….. i.. ineed.. to get… ohhhh,oh,…. closer…

[memedong]

a-aah… im so hungry… *rubs my tubby wubby tummy*

[moth-suggest]

*relentlessly flies in to your porch-light* i.. i . n… i need.. th….hhh….. the.. hhhjmmm… the light……

c l o s e r

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Based on my favorite post on this goddamned site

[vexedtonightmares]

ACOTAR Characters as iconic vines

Feyre: Hi my name is Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Rhysand: I love you bitch, I ain’t never gonna stop loving you… biiitch

Amren: I won’t hesitate bitch

Mor: Saminamina hey hey waka waka I’m Gay

Cassian: It’s Wednesday my dudes *screams*

Azriel: A D A M

Nesta: No what the FUCK Kyle, step the FUCK up Kyle

Elain: You almost made me drop my croissants!

Lucien: Look at all these chickens

Helion: I said whoever threw that paper your mom’s a hoe

Thesan: Welcome to Chilis

Kallias: I smell like beef I smell like beef I smell like beef

Viviane: And they were roommates… oh my god they were roommates

Beron: This bitch empty… aYEET

Tamlin: So no head? *smashes skateboard*

Tarquin: Hurricane Katrina more like hurricane tortilla

Varian: … wow …

[thefortysecondolive]

Rowing Gothic

‘Last piece,’ the coaches say. They have said this before every piece. You do not know how many pieces you have done, only that they have all been the last piece. You don’t know if they will ever end. 

A rigger screams with every stroke. No one knows whose rigger it is. It could be yours. It could be three-seat’s. The coxswain doesn’t seem to notice. No one seems to notice. Except you: you notice, and you wonder if the rigger is screaming at you.

A wake comes from your side of the boat. Nothing made it. It just appeared off the flat surface of the water. It catches your oarlocks and washes onto the deck. ‘There’s a wake,’ the coxswain says. You knew there was a wake. There is always a wake. 

You are in bow seat. You do not know if you are supposed to be rowing. You ask two-seat, and two-seat doesn’t know either. Neither of you row. The coxswain’s voice is crackly and indistinct, and you don’t know what it is saying. It is possible that you should be rowing. It is possible that you should never have stopped.

‘Ten more strokes,’ the coxswain says, and begins to count. Ten strokes go by. Then twenty. Then thirty-four. You have not yet crossed the finish line. You are no longer sure there is a finish line to cross. The coxswain keeps counting. 

‘Is that like canoeing?’ someone asks. You cannot tell them apart from the others who have asked you. You think this face is different, but perhaps it is the same face again, and only the passage of time makes you believe it is different. ‘No,’ you tell the face. ‘It’s not like canoeing at all.’

There are not enough wrenches. There are never enough wrenches. Some days it seems as if there might be enough wrenches, but they disappear when you open the toolbox. Someone asks you for one. You have nothing to offer but a shrug and a handful of washers. 

The shoes in the women’s boats are too big. The shoes in every other boat are even bigger. The men say they are too small, but you do not see how that could be the case. None of them fit you. Some of them are adjustable. They cannot be adjusted to fit. Some of them rub blisters into your heels. You pretend not to notice. 

[fiveseatisthepowerhouse]

My second week on the crew team, our coach pulled the women’s team around after practice. Since we’d made it this far, he figured we’d stick the season out and it was time to lay down some ground rules, especially since most of our team are true novices. I’ve found his rules to be valuable, so I thought I’d share them.

1) Eat. You are now an athlete. You will need the calories, especially as you build more muscle mass. Chances are you will need to eat more. You can carry granola bars with you, eat 4 medium meals a day, drink protein shakes, do what works for you. Cutting calories while doing two workouts a day is not safe. If you’re a vegetarian or have a dietary restriction, ask questions and plan what you eat so you don’t end up nutrient deficient. 

2) You are not to step on a scale. Your body is going to change as you adapt to the sport. Muscle weights more than fat. Your weight doesn’t matter. What matters is that, because you are doing the work, you are getting stronger. (Our team doesn’t separate by weight class).

3) If anyone gives you shit about how you look or eat, crush them. You’re going to have the muscle to do it in no time. You’re all god damn Wonder Women and don’t you forget it.

He then walked over to the huddle of novice men and gave them the same lecture. They are also god damn Wonder Women.

[thoodleoo]

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

[thoodleoo]

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

[earlhamclassics]

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*

[helloitsbees]

Homer, the DM: Okay guys, so the war’s over, you had a bunch of losses but you won in the end. Time to go home, let’s roll to see who gets there firs—

Odysseus’s player: I got a critical failure.

[cloudfreed]

Homer: The cyclops asks you who you are. What do you do?

Odysseus’s player: I say, “Who me? I’m nobody.”

Homer: Roll for deception.

Odysseus’s player: I got a natural 20.

Homer: The cyclops now completely believes that your name is Nobody. He shouts for help from the other cyclops but they ignore him because he’s telling them that “Nobody hurt him.”

Odysseus’s player: FUCK yes

[gif87a-com]

[snakelinksonic]

I feel that if I don’t repost this somewhere every year at some point, I’m living my life incorrectly.

[noble-snows-deactivated20220106]

What is even..

[lilac-keeper-deactivated2022112]

Some backstory. In FFXIV, for a very short spurt of time, there was a glitch where the upper body of a model would lock and freeze in place while the rest would still perform animations from other emotes and attacks. The results were pretty incredible for those that could get the lock to happen.

It was quickly hot-fixed out, but not quickly enough for the above video to get made, un/fortunately.

[meekusah]

mood