axolittle, axolottle

whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'ai'ng'ngah yog-sothoth h'ee-l'geb f'ai throdog uaaah

[lokaror]

In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.

[bread-in-the-void]

um?

[northshorewave]

Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."

[afloweroutofstone]

They closed the Death Wendy's over a year ago and I'm still mad about it. It was a Wendy's located in the middle of a six-way intersection, requiring many pedestrians to cross the street 3 times in a row in order to get to it

It was one of the city's top ten spots for car crashes, multiple people died there, and the service was terrible. I miss it dearly

[thefabfreak]

[slayerbuffy]

I've gone. Not one for goodbyes, I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles.

Rest in peace, Anthony Stewart Head (1954 – 2026)

[bunkey]

notice how everyone is horny today

[bunkey]

[sobcat]

people who do a PhD are running from something

[funstyle]

having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed

[jacobtheloofah]

i was paying attention, i was listening, but you see the problem is....it didnt work

[mascwoman]

Just saw a lesbian driving a hearse with a waving skeleton in the passenger seat and handprint clings on the windows. I think they might be the coolest person in the world.

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[hollowtones]

Holly how long should i boil my noodles for

If you don’t want to read the package directions I’m going to tell you to boil them for about thirty minutes & enjoy my new meal (name of “Wet Incident”)

[reachperfection]

[estrogenesis-evangelion]

if you've never been clinically depressed, this is the short version

[innerchildabortionclinic]

your cat was an honor to see in the window

[aaami]

"I like using ai"

[theshitneyspears]

Me: I’m shy

Me after a glass of red wine:

[cat-diagnosis]

Name: Little Beepo

Skill: Fucking Miserable

Quote: Please let me have some grease from the stovetop. I’ll cry if you don’t let me have some grease. I need it.

[fuckthisbjrdplease]

no grease for you, little beepo. im sorry, but its for your own good

[cat-diagnosis]

Little Beepo’s misery is increasing. Little Beepo’s misery is increasing. Little Beepo’s misery is increasing. Little Beepo’s misery is increasing.

[binturong-of-the-day]

The binturong of finding joy in the journey