Relationships, Love, Life.

Subscribe to level up, love on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@leveluplove

[latestinlove]

Presenting and participating in the delusion of a "talking stage" is a waste of time. Talking stage is not a relationship, a commitment or anything serious. Date in person and not in the texts.

I feel like the modern world is the best place for fantasists and dream sellers to thrive- you have all these women talking about men they’re seeing and later come to find it’s all texts etc.

A man who is only wanting to conduct a "relationship" with you not in person has no interest in taking you serious. He's most likely hiding / misrepresenting something and just has you in his phone as a little ego boost.

This is why I don't believe in the "talking stage".

[scorpionlafemme]

[aidashakur]

[scorpionlafemme]

You won’t truly know a man until:

You travel with him

Money is involved

You’ve seen him when he’s angry

You live with him

You see how he acts while drunk/high

You tell him “no”

You see how he deals with loss or grief

He doesn’t get to sleep with you whenever

He’s broke with little to no money or limited funds

You see how he treats his family, friends, and complete strangers.

[theambitiouswoman]

If a person is making you promises and not delivering they are manipulating you

[femininedating]

This situation is so sad.

Being feminine is not enough. Having your own money is not enough. We have to learn how to VET men properly.

Vetting a man as a provider is one thing, but don’t forget to vet his character too.

Is he a good person?

Does he have good morals?

Does he have good character?

Is he respectful to you?

Does he care for others?

Is he emotionally mature?

We have to pay attention to red flags and green flags. We have to stop being desperate and rushing when in relationships. Low self esteem, fear and poor vetting is why women end up with these type of abusive men.

Women have to start dating smart!

[femininedating]

Them: "You need to Decenter Men"

Me: "Decenter men for what? Men enhance my life"

If the men in your life we're enhancing your life, you wouldn't be trying to decenter them.

[thoughtkick]

“If the girl had been worth having she’d have waited for you. - No, sir, the girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

[theambitiouswoman]

I have been celibate for 3+ years & I wanted to share how this has helped shaped who I am.

Disclaimer: This is not me telling you what to do with your life and your bodies. It comes with zero judgement. I am of the belief that there is a season for everything, and we evolve into many different people in our life. I would be remiss if I didn't say that I definitely think it's a good idea to practice it. I do believe that psychologically, spiritually & emotionally having casual sex has a lot of negative implications for both men and women. However your beliefs around intimacy are purely up to you. Sex isn't bad, that's not what I am saying, but when you are having sex with someone you are absorbing their energy, and the energy of their past lovers too, so having sex with the wrong person can really ruin you.

Honestly the idea of anyone touching me if they do not meet my needs emotionally, mentally, physically etc absolutely disgusts me. I have never been of the type of let anyone "have me" but even more so now. Remember that when you start treating yourself differently, your perspectives and the things you are attracted to also start to change.

Maybe some girls don't understand this so I am going to say it. You do not have to sleep with a man for him to like you, love you, treat you well, or buy you things. If you haven't experienced this, you may not agree. But this is my reality and the reality of so many others, so yes it is actually totally possible.

I will say that the first year can be difficult but after that it gets much easier cause your mindset changes. I recommend taking that first year to really dive in and analyze your relationships, work on your wounds etc. Feeling lonely is something I see come up a lot, and while human beings are not designed to be alone, you should not feel lonely and that is probably a good starting point to work on with yourself if that is the case.

Anyway, these are some of the changes I have experienced:

1. Greater mental clarity and can focus more on personal goals, career & self development.

2. Reduced emotional turbulence. Creating better emotional balance and inner peace.

3. Realizing self love and self worth come from you, rather than seeking external validation. It reduces stress, increases self awareness & provides identity outside of others.

4. Higher standards, better boundaries. Intimacy is a choice, not a necessity. Being unable to control your lust is a weakness. Understand that falling in love purely through sex is lust, wounds and attachment / abandonment issues, need for validation, insecurity etc.

5. Insane increase to intuition.

6. Gives you control over your body and life. It allows you to be more selective about who you let into their personal space.

7. Increased creativity & passion to channel into art, projects, or other personal endeavors.

8. For those recovering from past trauma or heartbreak, celibacy can be a time for healing and self reflection. It offers the space to process emotions, heal old wounds and rediscover yourself.

9. No energetic enmeshments with toxic souls, which btw you are absorbing all of it. Grosses me out any time I think about it.

10. Even prettier than before (but i'm sure not entertaining toxic men and drama contributes to that as well)

11. People are even more drawn to be because of my strong sexual energy & pure aura.

[thescythequeen-deactivated20250]

Great post.

Something I would also like to add to this:

A person who is good for your soul will never, ever try to coerce you into sleeping with them. They will always respect your limits and be patient with you. If you say “no” to them, they won’t make a fuss. They won’t try to manipulate their way into getting you to sleep with them.

A person who cannot respect your limits is not someone worth keeping around. Just their energy alone will poison you, so please be mindful. Energy does not lie. Trust your gut. If something feels off, that’s because it is.

For the astrologers: Look to where Scorpio is in the natal chart. Corrupted Scorpio energy is lustful and manipulative. When they don’t get what they want, they rely on force and other toxic tactics in order to achieve their end goal. Healthy Scorpio energy, on the other hand, is very disciplined and under strict control, without ever being allowed under any circumstances to go to any unreasonable extremes.

[sweetchampagne]

the way someone fits you into their schedule says a lot about what they think of you

[sk-lumen]

If a guy chases you, he has an agenda. He’s not emotionally invested. Once he gets what he wants or you stop running, he will disappear. Don’t give in to these men.

If a guy pursues you, he is emotionally invested. This is the kind of man that if you run, he'll stop pursuing you. If you walk towards him, he comes towards you too. If you set boundaries, he respects then, because he genuinely cares about your wellbeing.

[latestinlove]

A man who is consistent in his inconsistency towards you does not like you. If he keeps you in suspense and his actions are always contrary, then he is playing games or he's not in a place to want you or anyone else. The problem is that many women try to decode the behavior instead of seeing it for the red flag that it is.

[latestinlove]

Girl, the man you're dating actually HATES YOU

These relationships where ya'll are constantly chasing and trying to change these men who obviously don't like you has some of you in a chokehold!

.... here's some signs to look for:

(like to save for later)

+ He doesn’t do basic or simple things he knows you want him to do or will make you happy. This is HUGE especially if they’re small gestures or inexpensive things. He's cheap, not thoughtful or romantic and just flat out believes you're not worth spending his money on.

+ You’re not actually friends. If you take out any kind of physical attraction you actually don’t really have a lot in common or enjoy each other as people. If you weren’t dating you wouldn’t be friends at all.

You don't like him either ...

+ He loves annoying or provoking you. If you complain about an problem and he keeps doing it, he’s hurting you on purpose. He just don't care. I’m not talking about teasing and inside jokes, I’m talking about something you mentioned that seriously affects or upsets you, yet he uses it to provoke you.

+ He says over the top disrespectful things when ‘joking’. End it. He knows he's hitting below the belt but wants to see how much you can take. This is a gateway to abusive behavior that will only get worse, could even turn physical ...

+ He looks at or comments on other women’s looks in front of you. He knows this will upset you and he’s doing it to ‘put you in your place’.

What's worst? He never compliments you and always complains about how you look, what you wear, or your body type. How'd you end up with him?

Isn't it uncomfortable as hell being around a man you can't be yourself around or can't ever feel at peace with? Then this kind of man will act like making him happy is some kind of crazy accomplishment. You found yourself right where he wants you, jumping through circus hoops for approval and the fact of the matter is ... you'll never get the act right because he doesn't like you. AND SCENE.

Need more proof?

+ He's a "people pleaser" when it comes to others and when it's convenient for him. He claims he has to say/do this or can't say/do that because of XYZ and doesn't want to cause a problem...but he has no problem standing on business when it comes to you.

or worst, he doesn't like people at all. Like nobody, not even his own mama ... but you thought you were the exception.

+ You can't talk to him about something he said or did that you disliked without him blowing up or turning it on you.

+ He's quick to anger or get jealous and you can't even make light conversation with someone around him or his need to control your attention comes into full effect.

+ He never defends you or give you the benefit of the doubt when people disrespect you. You always have to fend for yourself. What do you need him for?

I don't think people really understand how truly deceitful and pretentious most men are. They are very calculating and play the long game well. Men are RUTHLESS when their goal is attained - his goal meaning having s. with you, living with you, getting money from you, and having full access to you.

Utilize that block button.

If he only demonstrates his ability to act right when you're about to walk away you might trip and fall. It’s manipulation. He's playing you.

Any, even a little patience and tolerance for any of this behavior is unacceptable.

This man hates you because he hates himself.

(in time I'll add on to this list because theres more, theres always more. Feel free to reblog and add your own.)

[scorpionlafemme]

[decadencediary]

Be a BITCH.

And the men who respond with bigger bitchiness aren’t it. Don’t let them convince you that you’re “aggressive” for stating what you like and don’t like, what you want and don’t want.

Understand that the men who made you feel low, secretly wish they were you. You’re not a bitch for being serious about what you look for in a partner.

[femininedating]

To attract a provider man, heal your negative beliefs about men

If your primary thoughts revolving men are:

"What if he leaves?"

"What if he abuses me?"

"I can never depend on a man"

"Men are useless"

"All men are trash"

Then you're not in alignment with the healthy, provider man you want to attract...

The wounded feminine is fear based, has trust issues, abandonment issues and negative beliefs about men... and unfortunately this is what you will attract from men in dating because you attract what you fear

[latestinlove]

Lowkey date? that's a hard NO.

I personally don't feel like "study with me in the library", "grab a coffee" or " go to a local thing" is proper date. When a man pursues a woman no matter his intent, he should at least put his best foot forward and make a grand impression.

That's the problem with dating today ...

Men want to do the bare minimum and expect gold at the end of the rainbow. Does that make sense?

Take me out!

To a restaurant overlooking the water, on a boat at night to gaze at the city skyline, to a play or any live show, wine tasting with a 4 course menu, something that you had to book, reserve and put the effort in.

I mean the post itself says something you would say yes to if a friend asked, but more than likely he's not trying to get next to you to be "friends" is he?

If you're still allowing low effort while getting to know someone please know that it will continue through the duration of the "relationship".

Even if he does want to step it up and raise the bar later down the line he'll do it rarely because subconsciously he'll be reminded that you don't care for all that and you didn't require it from the start.

A "lowkey date" is out of the question ...