a strange girl with brownish hair

eighteen, she/her (maybe also they/them?)

[laurel-branch]

intro post

hiiiii, i'm laurel! (she/her, (they/them?))

ao3

𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆:

- i'm eighteen

- i'm pansexual&demisexual

- i can speak english, german, croatian (and a bit spanish, french and russian), but my english is a bit rusty so i'm sorry for all mistakes

- (probably) autistic and an insomniac

- proud cat mom

- you can talk to me about: poetry, sapphics, cats, writing, literature, greek mythology, my fandoms (which is the next topic) or just randomly rant about anything and everything

𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒎𝒔:

𝑚𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑚𝑠:

(favorite characters/ships)

- marauders: peter pettigrew, james potter, regulus black, bellatrix black, rita skeeter, mary macdonald, lily evans, pandora rosier, jegulus, pandalily, quillkiller, etc.

- heated rivalry: ilya rozanov, shane hollander, luca haas, cliff marlow, scott hunter, j.j. boiziau, jackie pike, sevtlana vetrova, rose landry, hollanov, roselana, cliff x j.j., etc.

𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒:

heartstopper, percy jackson, arcane, little women, dead poets society, the secret history, the goldfinch, if we were villains, bridgerton (only the gay side of it)

𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕:

"Ilya Rozanov aka Match Maker" (5/?), texting/gc fic ships: hollanov, skip, trorris, jayden, cliff x j.j., luca x m!oc

[laurel-branch]

Hear me out... a hollanov "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" au but in contrast to what you may think... Shane as Evelyn and Ilya as Celia. It literally makes so much sense because just like Evelyn Shane at first "didn't want to give up hockey" for Ilya. (putting it in quotes because it obviously isn't as simple as that)

[writinginasnowglobe]

i think at a certain point shane would start getting seriously annoyed at the seemingly widespread idea that he's somehow supposed to be "controlling" ilya. maybe it starts off as a lighthearted joke with the way some of their friends will glance at him in anticipation when ilya says something particularly asshole-y like they expect him to tell ilya off. and at the beginning maybe shane somewhat gets it (but really though, he doesn't) because yeah it's his reputation in the league and maybe the rivalry plays a part in it too, especially for people who've never gotten to know him, but eventually, it just starts pissing him off

they're at the kingfisher after a game in new york and scott and some of the other admirals are there along with a majority of the cens and they're all having a good time. ilya and some random admirals player are chirping each other and ilya says something a little mean in the asshole way he does with a small tilt of his lips. and shane can suddenly feel eyes on him from scott and carter and troy and various other players, and for a second he doesn't get it. he doesn't get it, until all he does is snort in response, because well, it was true and also pretty funny and ilya really is the funniest person he knows, okay, and ilya nudges him with a small smile when he hears it, but then the stares slowly morph into something like confused gapes, and all of a sudden, he gets it. it's not the first time it happens and it definitely won't be the last, but shane starts noticing it a lot more and it continues to piss. him. the. fuck. off.

hayden giving him an expectant glance when ilya is half-yelling and groaning with a few cens in the bar at the soccer game on tv, like shane is for some reason gonna tell him to quiet down. scott giving him a quick side-eye when ilya chirps about his age on the ice, like shane is gonna tell him to stop; like he doesn't find the multiple layers to ilya's chirps to scott genuinely impressive, like he doesn't find it amusing. evan, though to his credit he was mostly joking, making a sly comment about shane needing to hold ilya back from fighting during a game, like shane would do that when ilya is well-fucking-aware of when to pick fights and when not to because he is the second-best hockey player in the league; like shane doesn't also find it unbearably hot when ilya has a little blood on his knuckles and dripping down the corner of his lips as he calls out mean little quips at the other team with a smirk on his face

because the thing about their relationship is that shane is undeniably attracted to ilya being an asshole. he thinks it's funny. it almost definitely also turns him on. and he likes when ilya is mean and smug and rowdy and a little shit. he likes when ilya is an asshole to him because that's their banter and their foreplay. he likes when ilya is an asshole to other people because he pretty much always thinks what ilya says is hilarious. (plus it's the fact that shane is also an asshole; it's just that ilya says it out loud more often than he does)

and so the thing about their relationship that, for some fucking reason, other people don't get is that shane, from the very beginning, has always and will continue to like when ilya is an asshole. and yes, they're married (shane also thinks some people seem to forget this, because why would shane marry ilya if he truly doesn't like ilya's personality. he thinks other people are a little stupid sometimes.) but they're also best friends and bond over being the best at what they do and how competitive they are and that they're both a little bitchy at times

long story short, i think that at some point during the first season of them playing together, all of the cens (and various other friends/players) eventually learn, as shane continues to not react the way they expect him to, that shane is THE biggest ilya enabler. he won't tell ilya off or nag him, but is actually probably standing a little off to the side with a tiny little smirk on his lips and hearts (and a little heat) in his eyes as he watches his husband

[marmelade-sky]

my hot take is that if hollanov had a baby, there would be absolutely ZERO public appearances with this baby, absolutely zero photos of baby on social media and every single person who even dared to click their camera in the vague direction of this baby would get sued to hell and back. Yuna brings up a multi million dollar ad campaign offer from a baby clothing brand, and Shane doesn't talk to her for a full week.

[shaneaxel]

i just KNOW troy and ilya have the most vile, twitter cancel-able text conversations. they’re hockey players (insults as bonding), queer, had/have terrible fathers, became friends when they were both going through it…

troy texts ‘running late’ and ilya responds with ‘faggot.’ troy hearts the message. they send and make kill yourself jokes. they’re rating their shits. when hr-verse charlie kirk gets shot, troy is sending the video and ilya is hearting it. obviously they’re vetting dick pics but the ranking is incomprehensible. troy is making russia jokes. they’re sending sonic porn. creating convoluted bond-villain style ways to kill people (only like, 75% of the people have actually wronged them)

[hollanov-words]

Some random corner of the internet is being parasocial and calling Hollanov a PR marriage and a random person is like "my cousin's cousin's girlfriend used to clean their house in Ottawa. Definitely not a PR marriage. Apparently they go through a lot of couch cushions and bedframes."

[gaynehollander]

I have found that I have become incapable of writing Ilya calling Shane baby. Ilya is Shane's baby. Shane is Ilya's sweetheart. I don't make the rules (I do).

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags what you think of as “your” emoji(s)

[lilylikeswords]

@bedlund did you say more....? Shane finally has his Baby Ilya to match

[willgrahamscock]

sorry I’m all booked

[hollanov-words]

I know it's fun in fics but I truly don't think Shane/Ilya would be that open about their sex lives in the Centaurs group chat, they'd really want to keep it professional, but I do think it would take the Cens like half a season to notice that they often both went radio silent in the chat at the same time or disappear from a party at the same time. So the joke is that they're leaving to have sex. They're not texting back because they're having sex. But it's really not serious, they're probably just having lunch without their phones or watching Netflix in the hotel room. Like yeah it's funny to wiggle their eyebrows suggestively when Shane/Ilya come back from the bathroom together but obviously they weren't hooking up in the bathroom, that would be unhinged.

Except, you know, they definitely fucking are.

[gingerqueen0567]

I love when I work for 8 hours and all I think about is ideas for my fic then I get home and get to write it hehe I'm literally just a girl

[bloominflowers]

thinking about Shane's first pride night with the Centaurs ;u;

[lilylikeswords]

@heatonice I have no self restraint and too much free time. I apologise... (there's also a baby Ilya and an adult Ilya now)

[c24c24]

Ilya after an Ottawa vs Boston game “Sorry boys, I can’t go out tonight. The old ball and chain wants me home.”

“…You mean Hollzy?”

“First of all, Shane would never chain me down, he picks me up he is the wind beneath my wings. He is the light of my life my moon and my stars. He doesn’t bring me down, he raises me up. Don’t you dare ever fucking suggest that again. I meant Cliff Marlow. We’re cooking him dinner.”

[mymoonandmyshane]

its obvious to the centaurs when shane and ilya are fighting. not because theyre arguing and yelling at each other all the time, but because they are perfectly cordial to each other during practice. they dont chirp, bicker about plays, or roll their eyes at the other’s antics. they bring valid criticsm and advice just like they would any other day, but its all perfectly professional.

im imagining theyre doing drills and shane’s like: your speed’s good but you could be sharper when turning

and ilya goes: okay thanks for the feedback, you could be more aggressive during a board battle for the puck

shane: will do, thank you

all the centaurs internally: fuckkkk theyre saying “thank you” to each other for correcting their hockey, do we need a marriage counselor?

crucially their fights usually only last a day or two, so one day the centaurs are at defcon 2 trying to force them into a closet to make out up, and the next theyre breathing sighs of relief at shane calling ilya an asshole

[argillaforma]

ilya: get on your knees

shane: *gets on his knees*

ilya: 🤯😳⁉️