Fellas, I think I finally got (noir) Peter Parker's age.
Alright, I know what you may be thinking, that you've read posts like this before that basically end with "erm they say he's a kid so I uhh guess he's 19" (we've all thought this ngl).
This mostly began because I hated Felicia and Peter together.
I love Peter's noir comics so much, everything Peter goes through is such awesome writing and symbolism (Peter swearing to take power away from people who abuse it and then ends up abusing his own power ahgdgsgdgag) but Felicia' and Peter's "love story" weirdo lust pedo sub plot gave me the major ick.
Tbh I got tired of people defending this ship because they "didn't know Peter's age". I really wanted to prove them wrong. So I am.
Peter is referred to as a kid numerous times.
Above are most of the times Peter is called/referred to as a kid in the first comic run (which was only three issues).
I couldn't fit all of them, gosh darn Tumblr.
Anyways, it's clear that Peter appears as a child to all of the character, due to all of them referring to his as a kid. Every character he interacts with as Peter Parker calls him "kid" or "son" or "boy" (etc.). He obviously appears as/is a kid, or they wouldn't have made it a point to keep saying this.
Okay, so this means Peter's a kid. We can eliminate all ages over 21 and under 12. You were considered an adult at age 21 (age of consent was 18- https://worldhistorycommons.org/age-consent-laws -). And I think we can all agree that Peter isn't 12.
My next idea was to turn to the original age of when most Peter Parkers were bit. The problem is, it's all at scattered ages. The most common one I found was he was bit at 15.
But is noir Peter Parker really 15? No. Bear with me.
I came to this conclusion and sank to the ground and cried out in agony. Truly noir Peter Parker's age was a mystery, I thought. So I gave up.
But I was rereading the comic, and noticed a tiny tiny detail I overlooked upon my past rereads.
Here is the comic panel where the Goblin dies via spidery-Kraven, and Peter just watches. While Peter is watching, he thinks back to the time Uncle Ben snuck him in to see Frankenstein.
Okay, there are two versions of Frankenstein Peter could be talking about here.
The first Frankenstein that ever came out was the 16 minute long version on March 18th, 1910. Now, that's way further back than I think Ben would've taken Peter to go see it, as AT MOST (if he's 21) Peter was born in 1912. It is possible Ben took Peter to see a rerun of the 1910 version, but reruns were incredibly rare and the 1910 version of Frankenstein was deemed to be lost until the 1950s (I don't know WHEN it was lost). If Peter was taken to see the 1910s version as a child it could have given him nightmares. But I really doubt this is the Frankenstein movie Peter was referencing.
The second movie is the one I believe to be the movie Peter saw with Ben. This Frankenstein came out on November 21st, 1931. It fits much more with the time line, and fits the whole "couple years back" things (a couple means two to you guys too, right??).
Okay, so we know the date of the movie that Ben snuck Peter into. But, there is one very important word in that sentence. Snuck.
Either, a- Peter wasn't old enough to see the movie,
Or b- Aunt May didn't want him to see the movie.
The 1931 Frankenstein revolutionized the horror movie genre, and brought with it an outrage from the church and adults. It was censored mercilessly, and brought around the "H" rating that deemed anyone under the age of 16 was too young to see. But this came as a result of Frankenstein, in 1932ish in Britian and 1934ish in America. So when did Peter see the movie?
This is where my argument gets flimsy.
We can assume he saw the uncensored version as it gave him nightmares, so I speculatate he saw it around the same time as it's release date.
Peter was under 16 when he saw the Frankenstein movie, due to Ben having to sneak him into the movie.
Peter was freshly 16 and begged Uncle Ben to let him see the movie, he's old enough isn't he? And Ben can't say no to his nephew so they sneak around Aunt May to go and see it together.
Either of these two are plausible, but I'm going to go with the second.
Mostly all the Peter Parkers were born around August/October, so we'll keep that.
On November 21st, 1931 (or whenever he saw the movie) Peter Parker is 16 years old.
Which, one year later, makes him 17. And as the comics take place January 1933, we can make the safe assumption that Peter is 17. Which means in September, he's 18/about to turn 18.
Whew. I think I got it. If you have any other stuff please give it to me 🙏
Felicia and Peter relationship study coming soon.
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