☀️

[northirish]

Not only should I be studied by science, but I should be studied by pseudoscience as well. Let's see of those deranged cranks can work out what the fuck is wrong with me

[lavenderoceanss]

I'm not going to her funeral on Monday.

It's not because she wasn't important to me. She was the joint most important person in my life and still is. It's not because I didn't love her - I am so in love with her and always will be. Unlimited and unconditional and unending.

I'm not going because I know if I do, there is someone there who will take that and make it all about them.

In life, she was worried about everything. She felt like her time and relationships and money and things did not belong to her. She felt like she had no privacy. In death, she has had videos made with total strangers told awful things about her. She has had her things destroyed on social media for cheap views. Her family and friends have been told shitty things about her in an attempt by someone else to control the narrative. I'm sure the narrative in their head when I am not there is that they somehow won. Let them believe that, because I will know that the reason I am not going is that she deserves to fucking rest. If this is how she's treated now, in public, no wonder she chose death. My darling deserves for this all to be over and her name to be spoken with love and I cannot give her anything anymore but I can do my best to give her some peace.

Instead I will honour her by bringing her up in every conversation. Everyone in my life will know how she was important to me, even the ones I haven't met yet, who will never get the wonderful chance to meet her, will know her name and face and voice and stories. I'll bring the strands of her hair, my most precious belonging, to as many countries as possible so that she can travel like she always wanted to do. I will eat ice cream cake and sing in Norwegian on her birthday. I will write poems and learn the names of all my local plants and gather knowledge like treasures. And I will live a life so good that when I finally meet the universe and it asks me what I want in the next go round, I will have racked up enough karma to ask for 90 utterly happy years for her, because she deserves it.

[lavenderoceanss]

They could test my DNA in a hundred thousand years and they'd find the way she smiled.

[lavenderoceanss]

I think I'm done with tumblr. I'm just self harming by coming onto this site and automatically typing in her blog name to see what she posted so I could reblog the good stuff from her instead of someone else and stopping halfway through because she won't have reblogged anything new. I can't even bring myself to look at it.

I'm keeping this blog because one of the three I made for her is attached to it as a sideblog and I can't bear to lose that too.

We're just in a brand new month that she has never seen and it sucks and it's unfair and she should still be here. I don't wanna be figuring out how to process all the mess on my own, I wanna be figuring out with her how we move on together and I can't.

Most days I just wanna go join her.

[durbikins]

[pending-trans-action-2]

[filmnoirsbian]

Had a dream about a haunted forest

[fucking-relax]

anger is a pain. treat it like the injury it is:

you feel angry (you feel pain)

stop, take a moment to gather yourself and breathe deeply (stop, take a moment to apply first aid to your wound)

find the root cause of your anger; what brought your anger about and how come? (find what caused your injury; what hurt you, what type of wound?)

what can you do to regain control? try not to fuel the anger with violence; mitigate by being gentle to yourself and others (what can you do to keep you safe from further and future injury? what further treatment do you need? try not to aggravate your wound; be gentle and cautious)

accept you've done all you can, continue to breathe deeply, and find comfort away from anger and violence (accept you have done all you can and continue to take care of yourself)

[fucking-relax]

emphasizing these tags loudly:

[phantomrose96]

If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY

Are you in the Way?

Are you in the wAy?

Are you in the waY?

If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

[teabree-shark]

[m0thmancore]

[ozempicofficial]

[pomegranateteeth]

sure fucking whatever man

[plum-soup]

Simpsons Style AI Ad for Porn Addiction App

[blackpaintedtimbs]

[vintage-tigre]

Art by Worry Lines

[actionpainting-deactivated20231]

my nephews lunch that he packed

[rnelodyy]

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of Pepsi.]

[puppygirllaika]

that's arugula

[ceo-of-lesbians]

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of arugula]

[willgrahamscock]

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

[the44th]

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

[lavenderoceanss]

I meant what I said. I'm in love with you forever, dork. Good luck getting rid of me.

[headspace-hotel]

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines

[headspace-hotel]

We will be feeding our grandchildren strawberries and raspberries we grew in our gardens, dragging them along to the farmers' markets for tomatoes and eggs and goats milk and pickles and pecans and salsa and sunflower seed butter and jars of honey, as they complain and drag their feet because Gramma always stands around talking to people for like an HOUR

and we will say "When I was YOUR age, fruits and vegetables came from a supermarket and they were bred to get shipped 1000 miles in a truck and sit on shelves for weeks, and they tasted so sour and watery it was like eating paper compared to these ones. It wasn't even legal in some places to grow your own food"

and they will roll their eyes like yeah yeah just because everything was miserable in the 20s doesn't mean I have to have a smile on my face standing in the hot sun while you listen to that one guy talk about his bees FOREVER

But they will go, because there might be baby goats.

[headspace-hotel]

Since I made this post, dozens and dozens of people have left tags telling me that it was the first thing today that made them want to continue living, that it was the first thing that made them consider that they might be okay years in the future, that they might grow old, that it was the first and only post of its kind they'd ever seen—the first post that boldly predicts a future where we make it.

And many other people have been just spitting, foaming at the mouth fucking FURIOUS. How dare I have the audacity to imagine a future where things get better?

Don't I know how BAD things are? Am I not aware of the TERROR and DEVASTATION of climate change and fascism and biodiversity loss? How dare someone be so bold, so callous, as to imagine something other than misery and suicide. How dare someone suggest it will get better. How dare a person propose that there is a future where we will be okay, in the face of so much terror. Hasn't she seen the abyss opening its jaws before us?

Well? What do you think?

Do you think I've seen the abyss?

[cuntyjugheadfromriverdale]

the idea that there is hope for the future is the only way we have this kind of future.

there were kids who stayed inside because of the black plague and went on to help cure it.

there were women who sat at home and cleaned the house and dreamt up a world where they could vote and have jobs.

there were kids in the mines who thought up a life outside of it. there were children who hid in annexes and wrote a diary where they prayed for a future without a terrible man in control

there were slaves who wanted freedom so badly and had hope that it would get better

there were gay people who hid in the corners of clubs and fought back for a future where they could walk down the street together

do you know what all of that has in common? they had hope that things would get better and they made that change. they looked at the world in its cruel ways and fought back.

so now, there are kids and teenagers and young adults and new adults who dream of a world so beautiful and the only amazon their grandchildren know is the rainforest

and it is in everything we do that we find this hope. wishing on dandelions, counting the stars, making our own clothes out of crochet or knit or sewing it, watching the sunset, going to the farmer’s market, feeding the birds, planting seeds.

step by step, we dream up, like our ancestors before us, a beautiful world

[headspace-hotel]

THE ONLY AMAZON OUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL KNOW IS THE RAINFOREST

[sevdrag]

You can have hope and fight. In fact, it’s the only way we will possibly succeed.