The Offical Law Enforcement of Tumblr

I am the new law enforcement of Tumblr, and I decide the punishment for users who have displeased the public Feel free to tag me in posts/comments (NOTE: THIS IS A JOKE BLOG, ALL OF MY POSTS ARE JOKE, DO NOT TAG ME ON SERIOUS ISSUES) (Examples of what to tag me on: Rickroll-esq posts, petty arguments about pineapple on pizza, people saying they wear socks in the shower, etc.)

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

New game: guess what Mimosa is drinking

[law-enforcement-offical]

WwhyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

EVERY DAMN TIME I GET ON THIS HELLSITE ONE OF YOU HAS SOME BS GOING ON IN YOUR KITCHEN

[law-enforcement-offical]

Nevermind, it’s just hot chocolate!

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

New game: guess what Mimosa is drinking

[law-enforcement-offical]

WwhyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

EVERY DAMN TIME I GET ON THIS HELLSITE ONE OF YOU HAS SOME BS GOING ON IN YOUR KITCHEN

[chaosnews-offical]

The news has gotten really boring, what with weather on break and the Cult stealing all who can perceive my existence. So I would like to summon @law-enforcement-offical to the stand for your word. It will make very good news. Please, tell the people of the lemons.

tell me

of the lemons.

I must know.

[law-enforcement-offical]

It happened some time ago… @sexy-people-contests-2026 was the reason this law had to be made in the first place.

It happened around the same time as… *shudders* The Tea Incident…

@sexy-people-contests-2026 posted a 2lbs bag of lemons, and I did my best to prevent disaster…

That’s all from me, now I’m going back into my extended hibernation.

[law-enforcement-offical]

What the fuck happened?? (/lh)

[satan-offical]

When I talk about having "blood stained hands" I don't mean I've killed people. I'm on my period, and it's bAD

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Wait did it used to be "conteasts"??

Yeah, I might change it back later

[lostinthewrongfandom]

Are you going to make more glitter with a hint of tea?

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Most likely

[law-enforcement-offical]

DO NOT.

[homosexuality-offical]

Just thought I should warn you

i don’t see any *angry pouts*

[law-enforcement-offical]

Boo.

[dexxius]

me watching the officalverse from afar (I’m not part of it):

[satan-offical]

One of us

[aussie-shepherd-offical]

One of us

[evil-neutral-offical]

One of us

[kinkajou-offical]

one of us

[john-doe-offical]

One of us

[law-enforcement-offical]

One of us

[law-enforcement-offical]

@sexy-people-contests-2026 JFC I always forget how overwhelmed I get whenever you reblog one of my posts lmao.

I get absolutely flooded with notes every time… 😭

[law-enforcement-offical]

@sexy-people-contests-2026

What the hell is your problem.

[smorpher]

Why is Ides of March trending?

It's December

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

The people yearn for the blades

[law-enforcement-offical]

[law-enforcement-offical]

[Sprays with spray bottle]

-Victor from @da-police-offical

Do NOT.

[homosexuality-offical]

I just realized I said 67000- I literally did that on accident I just clicked two numbers and added three zeros😭😭😭😭

sigh. your sentence is to prison.

[law-enforcement-offical]

Omw 🤭

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

[law-enforcement-offical]

STOP.

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Guess what I got

[sundaefate]

@law-enforcement-offical LOOK AT THIS

[law-enforcement-offical]

STOP DOING THIS!! >:((((

[grbgegrrrl-deactivated20251230]

add him to the behead list i guess