Smorpher

I'm just here trying to live my best life

[chefpyro]

oh

[persistentmanlyagitation]

wait

[it-a]

i am tired and i will never be free

[vacueabissi]

I fucking hate this website

[silverk2k-art]

when i saw the placement of the images and the first set of lyrics i knew what it was

[unyieldingsilence]

‎

[bitchesgetriches]

Everything Is Becoming a Bank

Most major corporations — from airlines to social media platforms — now aspire to become unregulated banks. Bankification today accounts for

[apatosaurus]

This is a long read, but worth it. Some takeaways:

-Don’t use “buy now pay later.” The fine print isn’t what it seems.

-The fine print on medical financing, store credit cards, and contactless payment is also not what it seems.

-Payday loans are still predatory, even when offered by your employer

-Rewards programs are an income stream for the companies that run them. The points systems are manipulated so that the house always wins. They depend on people leaving money in rewards accounts and not in interest-bearing traditional bank accounts.

-Electronic payment apps like VenMo are not banks. You don’t earn interest. Your money is not protected.

-Your financial information is not private if your money is not kept in a regulated bank.

-None of this is regulated by the FDIC. Your money is not protected if it is held by a non-bank doing banking business. Our economy is not protected from the collapse of financial institutions that are not banks.

-The Biden administration was making progress in increasing accountability for non-banks operating as predatory financial services providers. The current administration is reversing those protections to favor corporations.

[mierac]

Oh boy.

 A third of younger Americans hold their savings on nonbank tech platforms like Venmo

PEOPLE! DO NOT LEAVE YOUR MONEY IN VENMO OR APPLE PAY OR ANY OF THIS SHIT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO FIND A REAL BANK OR A CREDIT UNION.

If Venmo were to close tomorrow all your money would vanish. There's no insurance or guarantee on any of these things. I know banks aren't great but legit banks will have the "FDIC insured" logo on their doors and websites, which means if my bank goes under tomorrow I still get my money back. Also I guarantee you there is a credit union somewhere in your town, go find it.

You can leave some money in Venmo or Apple pay or whatever, but NOT ALL OF IT for the love of God.

[jenniferdub]

FYI this is what the logo looks like and Apple Cash is FDIC insured.

[idroolinmysleep]

No, it's misleading. Go to Green Dot's T&Cs, search for "FDIC," and you'll come across this:

your funds are insured up to $250,000 by the FDIC in the event Green Dot Bank fails

In the event Green Dot Bank fails. Meaning the only time your money is protected is if Green Dot goes under. Not if Apple goes under (unlikely, granted). Or if Apple changes its terms (entirely possible). Or if you got scammed. Or if Apple freezes your account because they think you're the one scamming. Or any of the other countless mishaps your money could suffer. Green Dot is insured, but Apple Cash is not.

This is the disclaimer (highlighted) you see before you set up Apple Cash:

[heywriters]

I really need my followers, especially younger ones, to read this.

And DO NOT get store credit cards, they are money sucks and difficult to cancel.

[julevanwilde]

As someone who's worked in the industry for a decade now, here's a quick rundown (US specific,) of what your schools and parents didn't teach you:

For the love of god get an account at a federally insured institution. Look for FDIC (banks) or NCUA (credit unions) insured and regulated financial institution. They are legally required to have this status publicly available and accessible so it's not hard to find.

The FDIC and/or NCUA will insure your accounts up to $250,000 PER AUTHORIZED SIGNER and per account type. These are factors to max your coverage to even higher than $250k but the key point is that if something happens to your bank or accounts there, that first $250k of your money is secured anyway.

Banks are for profit. Credit Unions are exactly what it sounds like: unions. They are not for profit and member owned.

Bigger institutions have more money and resources at their disposal; they have the fancier apps, 24/7 phone banking and more locations. But watch out! They are no different than any other large corporation you've heard of when it comes to ethics. Smaller institutions have more limitations, and lesser size is not an indicator of morality, but it's something to consider when choosing where to keep your money.

These institutions, regardless of what kind you choose, will offer interest bearing accounts. Money Market Savings and Time Accounts (also called Certificates of Deposit,) are popular choices to put the money you already have to work for you. You can earn money just for having your money in an interest bearing account type.

All financial institutions charge fees of one sort or another. They are offering products and services, after all. Nothing is free! They will also disclose options to avoid paying those fees, usually based around meeting specific criteria such as minimum balances or direct deposits.

Take this information and do your own research so that you can make an informed decision. Now you know what to look for! Don't be taken advantage of!

[i-am-a-fish]

I love bugggsssssss small little dude cool evolution niches hydraulic awesome and sometimes they fly

[nerdicornthetrekkie]

[gamechangershow]

Sorry but it's not complete without...

[scribeherself]

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

[scribeherself]

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

[dduane]

”‘Just’ friendship? A poor modifier for so high and honorable a state.”

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

the most Child Emperor urge i have is to shout "BOOORRIINGGG!!!" when i have to witness something i dont like for too long

[skippyisntfunny]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

Pulitzer Prize type shit

[wizardshark]

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

[spooky-narwhal]

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

[redstonedust]

its good to acknoweldge the hollowness of revenge but sometimes you really do just need a story about someone who gets hurt and then kills and kills and kills and kills their enemies. its cathartic, babey.

[awesome-chameleon]

"there's nothing that can bring my loved one back, so there's no point in killing you" and "there's nothing that can bring my loved one back, so there's nothing that can save you" are two themes that can and should co-exist

[disgruntled-lifeform]

Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

[leiyahime]

"Indigo dyeing silk thread"

In case anyone wonders what the Japanese is saying

[krakenartificer]

Me: But indigo makes blue. When does blue come into it?

Me: that wringing technique is really clever. I've got to try that with my sheets

Me: WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT BLUE?!?

Spouse: why are you telling at Tumblr?

[hlahlahlahlahly]

Indigo dyeing works by oxidation, so it turns blue when enough of the liquid is wrung out that it is exposed to the air.

Unlike most dyes, you don't get a darker color with indigo by keeping it in the liquid longer, but by dipping it more times.

[ink-the-artist]

[ink-the-artist]

the long awaited sequel

[ink-the-artist]

[creepymutelilbugger]

i can't imagine a world in which i haven't put this video on my page

[inkary]

"it's time to surface, (unintelligible, possibly "back to people), the vacation is over. oh blyat, a grenade. what sort of moron keeps the...-boom-"

[spainy-spoon]

Can't help but appreciate how well the body language translates through VR.

The frantic head turning while looking for a place to stash the grenade, the double take as they realize the drawer they chose was FULL of grenades, and the "WTF" hand gesture as they point in disbelief at the drawer full of grenades? Chef's kiss.

[etrianodysseyobsession-hd-deact]

POV you’re Wile E Coyote

[ophilosoraptoro]

No translation neccessary

[gaynfl-moved]

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

[your-sleep-paraylis-demon]

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

[gaynfl-moved]

[harvestspriteirl]

[thats-ee]

I will think about the blorbos on company time

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[apocalyptic-cake-deactivated202]

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

[gyrsaker365]

This isn’t some ‘oh yeah sure it could’.

This could legitimately do so.

Don’t you dare fucking scroll past.

[obscureoldguy]

This is good stuff to know!

[socxsuallycruel-deactivated2022]

please, please, please reblog. reblogging will take one second of your time. meanwhile it could save someone’s entire life.

[giuliafc]

please reblog!

[crescentwolf14]

Soo I have a blood kink... someone reported a post about it like this one time and I got a message from tumblr asking if I was okay and how to get help if I needed it. Was actually cool I didn't know it was a thing that tumblr would do and until now didn't know exactly why that had happened other than something with that post but not that they had this whole set up

[flavoracle]

Suicide prevention is important. It works. I have personally benefited from it.

But it only works if people know about it. So please consider passing along.

[slady-ao3]

I wasn't aware of this feature myself.

[redstonedust]

i understand (on paper) why companies are anti-piracy but its funny when random individuals are also strongly anti-piracy. like how does it negatively affect your life if someone you know downloads a cracked torrent of sims 4. you dont work for EA. EA isnt gonna pay you for this. you lose nothing. its fine. chill out.

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem