The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. Thatâs literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, âSorry, Buckbeak flew away.âÂ
âThereâs a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.â
âA different hipprogriff.â
âIâm⌠pretty sure thatâs the same hipprogriff.â
âProve it.âÂ
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm⌠this is our new order member, my⌠cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
âMr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!â âOh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesnât wear glasses. That wouldnât make sense.â âWell have Mr. White take off his glasses then!â âHe canât he needs them to see.â
it got better
Itâs honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesnât collapse every other week because like
Youâve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself SteveÂ
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but Iâd like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. Heâd buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldnât but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that itâs Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so⌠so affronted.
âSeverus, he is my cousin.â
And Sirius would love it. Heâd love the fact that Snape just hated it. Heâd be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like âexcuse me, Iâve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think theyâre attracted to glassesâ
and the magical community is like âshit, yeah, youâre rightâ
and just
Spare. Snape goes spare.
âŚThis is the plot of Invader Zim












