Aloha mai kākou 🩵 welcome to my (@little-lazuli) writing blog where I’ll be posting my written works. You can also find my works here on ao3 if you wish :) but here is a quick masterlist of all of my current works.
Thank you @cafekitsune for the beautiful text dividers. Please take a minute of your day to visit their blog and enjoy their beautiful works.
I currently write for select K-pop groups, Harry Potter and Asoiaf. I do not currently take requests or commissions, but if you any asks pertaining to any of my works, please feel free to ask.
Also please be wary as my screen reader setting is my current beta reader. That being said, mahalo nui loa and enjoy 🩶
kpop
Hell: [angst/apocalypse au] San has a nightmare about his biggest regret.
Alone: [angst-ish/thriller] Hongjoong has an epiphany after a call from a sick Jongho.
Intruder: [angst/comfort-ish] part 2 of Alone — There’s an intruder in the Ateez Dorm.
Wake: [angst-ish/hopeful] Jun is the only one who can handle seeing Vernon in the hospital.
Leave: [angst/sci-fi] Donghyuck finds himself in over his head after traversing space and time.
Cosmetology: [domestic/apocalypse au] Donghyuck has a crush on someone who confuses stars and makeup.
Dream: [domestic/spy au] Jeonghan sings to his son.
Brutal: [domestic/spy au] Jeonghan hates the avengers.
Sing: [angst/vampire au] Taeyong sings to his son.
Starlight: [angst/cosmic au] Yunho was your favorite love game.
Heaven: [domestic/slice-of-life] Xiaojun riding a harley in Hawaiʻi.
Esta Noche: [suggestive/song fic] You meet Chanyeol at a small pub
Sighs: [smut/pwp] San scolds his duckie
a song of ice and fire
What if series: [a series of useless rants and rambles on different possible possibilities]
What if Benjen Stark married?
What if the Sarnori migrated?
What if Jon Snow didn’t join the Night’s Watch?
What if Joffrey Waters was a hero?
Pragmatic: [hopeful/slice-of-life-in-westeros] Sansa makes her escape from that wretched city for a second time.
harry potter
Hiraeth Series: [angst/slice-of-life-for-a-slytherin] Several perspectives of Ron’s life after being sorted into Slytherin. This series was inspired by some of my favorite ron-centric fics: @chuchiotaku’s “There and Back Again” and TheTrueSpartan’s “Fate”
Son: [angst/molly weasley pov] Molly cannot blame anyone else but herself, her son was gone.
Spark: [fluff-young love/ron weasley pov] Ron’s first spark of love with Daphne ignites before a reflection.
Survivor: [teen angst/slice-of-life-for-a-slytherin/ron weasley pov] Ron purchases his very own wand, a survivor’s wand.
Outtakes - Character Profile: Ronald: Character Profile of Ronald Bilius Greengrass née Weasley
Honour: [slice-of-life-for-a-slytherin] Muriel reads Ron’s letter he left before going to restore his honour.
Verdict: [hurt & comfort/daphne greengrass pov] Daphne awaits Ron’s verdict at his trial for being a death eater.
Outtakes - 100 Headcanons: 100 headcanons for Ron after being sorted into Slytherin.
Outtakes - 100 More Headcanons: 100 more headcanons for Ron after being sorted into Slytherin.
Outtakes - Unfinished Moments: Unfinished memories from a pensieve; with moments from Tracey, Astoria, Muriel and Theodore.
Outtakes - 25 Quotes from the Silver Quartet: 25 random quotes from each member of the Silver Quartet.
The Vanishing Series: Under the threat of defeat, the supporters of the dark lord cast a curse that banishes half of the Wizarding population of the British Isles.
Intro i
Intro ii
Opulence: [fluff/slice-of-life] Fred has a question for Roland (oc).
Sunshine and Rainbows: [angst] Fred has some choice words for Roland (oc).
And please note: I do not give any permission to consumers to feed my works to ai. I repeat, I do not give any permission to consumers to feed my works to ai. Let it be known.
hey! hope your day has been kind to you. just wanted to share my recent update on my ao3 exclusive fic <3
title: two souls, one body
summary: Lockhart’s attempted memory charm on Harry and Ron in the chamber of secrets is botched in more ways than expected. This results in 13 year old wizard, Ronald Weasley, making a new friend with the voice in his head that happens to not be his own.
word count: 17.3k words
status: ongoing (chapter five uploaded yesterday)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
a/n: Merry Christmas and happy holidays 🩵 This was inspired by their majesty themself, @atiny-piratequeen mahalo nui loa for both the inspiration and positive energy sharing you’ve given me to be able to complete this—I can’t believe this wip was born in late October… and I actually completed it, thank you so much motha!! Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Donghyuck’s grip tightened as time seemed to halt. The sensations that danced in and around him, swallowed Donghyuck whole. Consuming him and leaving him nearly pliant, with all his strength being used to ground himself in his embrace of San.
“P-plea-”
“Quiet.”
One command. One simple command was all it took for Donghyuck to mentally retract. His mind rushing to fill his train of thoughts, left empty by his gradual impaling upon San’s cock.
The elder lathered his neck with love bites. Lips, tongue and teeth all gradually traveling across Donghyuck’s neck and collarbones like a calligraphy pen, imprinting its identity upon its canvas.
“I told you to trust me”
Donghyuck whimpered, the spearing upon his core barely starting and already he was breaking at the seems. His limbs that trapped and locked itself around San’s neck and waist shivered under the desired invasion.
“I told you to be quiet… why couldn’t you?”
“I-I-“
“Quiet!”
Donghyuck screamed as a spongy head first kissed the realm of his prostate, before suddenly weighing down upon it viciously. San, leeching harder upon the younger’s neck, paid no mind to the pleasurable wails coming from the one sitting upon him.
Spots and darkness started to flood Donghyuck’s vision as he still awaited for San to fully sheath himself. This was the deed that almost always took the longest. San was nothing short of impressive in all that he did and all that he was.
And it left little for Donghyuck to wonder on why the simple act of inserting himself into the younger was always a prolonged activity.
“One thing I asked of you tonight. One thing. And you couldn’t even do that.”
Donghyuck was trapped between heaven and hell. The immeasurable divinity he felt under San’s every kiss, bite, touch and caress clashed with the sharpness of his lover’s words. He should have been able to do it. He should have kept his bratty mouth shut. He should have kept those mean and jealous words from spilling.
And yet he didn’t.
And now he would pay back what was due.
“I’m s-sorry… I’m so sorry h-hyung.”
Donghyuck’s struggled to voice his thoughts through the hiccups that infected his vocal cords, a side effect of the ever growing tension building within his core. Growing like a wildfire. A volcano simmering and stewing in its heat. Pressure building from within, awaiting for the prime moment to rupture and explode.
The sudden press of San’s hips against his shivering rear left Donghyuck’s sanity nearly depleted, with San as the only foundation left for him to mentally stand upon.
“You know… that was very bratty of you. To run your mouth to your dongsaengs like that.”
Each word from the elder became pronounced with a thrust of his hips into Donghyuck. The younger could barely maintain what little sanity he had left with every new bruising kiss to his core. Only tears could spill down his naked form as Donghyuck hid his face in shame and pleasure within the crook of San’s neck.
San eased his grip on his mate’s waist as his thrusts slowed to a halt, the elder’s nerves finally thawing with every sob Donghyuck struggled to hide. The elder’s once vexed demeanor crumbling under the weight of Donghyuck’s tears.
“Duckie… why didn’t you listen to me? I told you to trust me. To let me handle them. Why could you not do that… just this once?”
Pulling back to gather a look upon the other half of his soul, San would thank their current bodily position—with his cock cradled by the gods gift to him—for it was the only reason his heart didn’t shatter at the sight before him. Of his Donghyuck falling into the depths of his emotions, tears staining his cheeks and soft hiccups choking his baby.
“B-because….”
Donghyuck paused, taking a second to gather the last of his thoughts as a finger that wasn’t his own wiped away his tears. The younger’s grip on the elder didn’t falter in its desperation in being close to his mate, tightening as Donghyuck accepted the weight of San’s forehead upon his own. The two sharing a breath, with only each other in their entirety.
“Because you’re mine.”
Donghyuck barely spoke those words aloud when the sudden crush of San’s lips met his own. A warmth consumed Donghyuck further and further as he suddenly found himself enclosed between the sheets beneath him and San blanketing him completely.
And with barely a moment to catch his breath, Donghyuck felt San’s apology and adoration.
He felt San’s apology with the fingers that danced upon his skin. Traversing from its place upon his hips until it secured itself upon Donghyuck’s neck and jaw.
He felt San’s adoration when the elder’s other hand grasped Donghyuck’s cute cock. Fondling the adorable appendage, circling its head and stroking it to a desperate completion.
Donghyuck could only hold on tighter to his hyung before his lungs let loose a torrent of pleasured sighs. With his mind slowly ascending too high in the clouds and his release painting much of San’s navel white.
“My duckie.”
San almost chuckled at the way his words went unheard, as the now relaxing form of his boyfriend began to slip from its embrace to the elder. San was quick in maneuvering his love to lay limply upon their bed as he hovered over Donghyuck, like a beast delighting in its prey before completely devouring him.
“I-I… I sorry hyu-“
Donghyuck’s slurred words were cut off with another soulful kiss from San. The elder’s lips and tongue controlling the younger completely. Forever breathtaking, all consuming and irrevocably powerful in leaving San’s soul imprinted upon Donghyuck’s very own.
“I forgive you my duckie.”
And with those last few words, Donghyuck granted his beloved hyung a soft smile of acceptance before using the last of his strength to interlock his fingers with San’s as he awaited for more.
A sigh was all Donghyuck could grant San as the elder soon closed the space between the two.
a/n: I can’t believe I found this! This was one of my first ever fic I ever wrote. This was written at the height of my Ariana Grande obsession and was very much inspired by this song by Ariana & Bia. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Despite the many other bodies that graced the makeshift dance floor of the esoteric pub, you couldn’t seem to care about whether someone was eyeing you or not.
The large wooden shack that made up the small town’s heart and nightlife was in the midst of its rush hours.
Drinks were running from bartender to customer like wind. Music spilled from the band and their beautiful instruments, playing a hypnotic array of sounds that intoxicated the people more than their own drinks.
You let loose on the dance floor. The gentle sway of your hips, the way your hair bounced, the way your mouth chanted the lyrics to the band’s music as the addicting beat of their instruments made you move.
All of it was just enough to have you moving side to side without a care in the world.
𝘞𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘴
As the band’s music continued on, its hypnotic sound prompting you like so many others to enjoy the moment. You continued on with your easy movements.
Shifting your eyes around you, you could make out many others who were also in the midst of a state of peace and euphoria. Not having to worry about the struggles off of the dance floor or outside of the pub doors.
Tracing one end of the dance floor to the next, your eyes froze when a certain figure caught your attention. To the common eye, it was just another, dancing the stress of life away, just like you. But your eyes held firm. It had barely been a few seconds of you discovering the man before his eyes met your own.
𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯' 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘴
He was deliciously tall but not lanky. Defined and slender, yet you could tell his muscles were a prize from probably months of working out. His round face held in place the visual of a statue. Soft and graceful. His eyes held orbs of a dark bronze that pierced the space between the two of you. Whilst his hair, the plot of platinum on his head shined in the rural lighting of the pub.
Whether it was you or him who moved closer, it didn’t matter. The lingering stares at eachother as the music played with your bodies like majestic puppets, brought the two of you closer and closer until finally the chasm between you and him vanished.
As the music was persistent in its ventures in keeping your body moving, the stranger had somehow found his way behind you.
This wasn’t like you. This was a stranger, someone you didn’t know. But for some reason, you just didn’t care. Pulling the man’s hands from behind you, your movements had his body enclose your own with his soft but firm embrace.
𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯' 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺, 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳
“A nice night for a dance isn’t it”
A hum of your own was the only answer you gave. Allowing yourself to fall under the spell of both the stranger and the music, you let yourself fall deeper into his embrace.
Your back now pressed against his chest. His thin button-up was like a layer of saran-wrap, barely protecting his stiff figure from your nerves that felt the small definitions of his body.
“well I’m glad I could help you enjoy such a moment.”
The smile that arose on your face was enough for him to confirm that you were okay and not worrying about him being a stranger to you.
“I’m Chanyeol, and you are?”
The smallest smile graced your lips, as you enjoyed the heat growing between the two of you even more as he pressed closer.
“Y/n.”
With your names out of the way, the two of you continued on with your night as the music latched its powerful claws into the two of you.
𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘢
You held no clue to how this would play out. But as song after song flew by, and as people came and gone from the dance floor, you and Chanyeol remained. Together. Enjoying each other’s presence. As if you were stars in the sky.
Just as the stars danced in the night sky no matter the dilemma, no matter the scene. You and Chanyeol moved in unison. His hands remained clasped respectfully over your stomach. Your own hands grasping his as you held on to him the same way he held on to you. Close.
With every step back, your bodies intentionally collided. With every step forward, your bodies met again. The friction between the two of you were both warranted to produce a reaction.
With the band ongoing with the strings of harmonies and chilling cords. Chanyeol and yourself danced away the night. The pub transformed from throughout your time together. By the time of the last song rung out, the pair of you remained alone, latched together on the dance floor.
Chanyeol’s head remained on your shoulder as light, warm kisses littered your neck. You yourself were busy swaying with him, your head leaning back on his shoulder and eyes closed and your hands gripped one another.
“I would ask to buy you a drink, but it would seem that the liquor is all bound up by now.”
His calm words sent vibrations across your neck as he continued to leave small nips and lovemarks.
“It would seem so. But it’s only midnight…”
Turning your head to face his, he pulled back to stare at you. Those dark bronze orbs of his kept a scrunched expression before a second of realization dawned on him. A smirk appeared on his face before he softly attacked your neck again.
Holding you close as you continued swaying with him, you could feel his grip on you tighten barely before he pressed on with your notion.
“If that’s the case. May I buy you a drink my dear?”
Your own smirk appeared as a blush invaded your cheeks. Silently nodding as you broke from his embrace, you turned to face him. Holding his hands you stared at him completely. You were quick to make your response or else you feared you would get lost in those beautiful bronze eyes.
“I would love that.”
And with your words announced to the world, the two of you were quick to gather your things, leaving the small pub before heading out to adventure more within that small town.
And without a single ounce of regret, you and Chanyeol explored the world under the moonlight. With nothing but the intention to enjoy tonight.
Can I request angst-y oneshot with Ateez you can choose the plot but I just want see San centric please
Hi there anonnie, I’m so sorry darling but I currently don’t do requests. I don’t have the skills to be able to successfully tackle such a feat so apologize for that.
a/n: This was inspired a by a Bang Chan moodboard that I had made a long time ago—if you wish to see, visit my moodboard acc @lazuli-mbs thank you. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Yunho’s question made your breath hitch. It was only then you noticed the lack of subtle movements between the two of you as you both laid bare in bed together.
Facing him as he looked at you for an answer, you could make out the droplet of doubt lingering in the way his lips curled and eyebrows rose.
You sighed, almost annoyed at his inquiry but not surprised. "Yunho… this has nothing to do with you. I thought you knew that."
"But it does. It has everything to do with me" he pressed on, sitting up now as he made way to stand his ground, "how can you say that every night you spend with me is because you love me, just to end up leaving? You make your emotions so clear every single time that I- do you even care about me? How about the way I feel? Do you even care?"
"You're being selfish."
Your response was cruel and you knew it. But a fire was ignited in your chest at his words. It strangled your soul with both truth and animosity.
Pulling the large silk blanket from your skin, you pushed yourself off of the bed as you aimed to redress yourself and exit Yunho’s life once again.
"Me! Selfish!"
"Yes! You are being selfish."
Your raised voice and quick movements to pull your pants up and grab your shirt, prompted Yunho to throw the silk covers off of himself and race to find his own undergarments.
"I'm selfish for wanting you to love me back?! I'm selfish for wanting you to end this stupid game you play!"
"I do love you! But I won't let anyone hold me down anymore. That includes you."
Yunho was quick to run to you as soon as his boxers were on. Catching your hand on his own as you moved for the door. Your eyes met as you took in the man that kept you in place with a soft but desperate grip. His eyes, wide saucers of sorrow and confusion. Of course he didn’t get it. How could he? He wasn’t your Yunho. He was just another copy. Another guilty pleasure in a long array of forbidden fruits you found yourself devouring with each new world you visited.
The wrinkled fabrics and innumerable love bites that once again covered your skin was a small fraction of the amount of distress and disorder that plagued you both emotionally and physically.
"Yunho, please. Just let me g- "
"No!"
You let your head fall as you felt the waves of desire, need and desperation exuded from Yunho. If only he was more simple minded like some of his otherworldly counterparts. Did you really have to do this? Yes. This is the only way.
"Look. I don't know why or what... happened. But don't leave me… please"
His plea extracted a single tear from your eye. Wiping away the droplet quickly and pulling your hand free from Yunho’s grip, you remained adamant in your venture to continue your life.
“Please!”
Yunho was painfully right in his earlier question. You were tired. Tired of your only constant being those small midnight moments. A different world. A different Yunho. Every single night. It was exhausting.
But never again could you suffer the same fate you had with the real Yunho. Your Yunho. At least this way, you could have every version of him, the good and the bad. You were finally the one in control of your love, and you won't exchange that for anything in any world.
"I'm not going to say sorry because I'm not. But I will tell you this Yunho. Move on. I know you can."
A reluctant sob broke the silence as Yunho collapsed to the floor, bombarded with grief of the love he no longer had. The once powerful pillar of strength and fortitude that almost every reality displayed with each new version of Jeong Yunho, now a shattered glass of loss and pain as this version had to endure what you had all that time ago.
And as his tears and echoes of sadness filled the empty air, you walked out of his life. With every step you took, a war of emotions struggled to break the surface of your frozen heart.
But as you raised your hand forward, opening the portal to the next world, all of your regrets and doubts were silenced.
This was the part you hated. Leaving him over and over. But as you stepped across the threshold of the door, you were ready to do it again.
a/n: Yes, this work is very much inspired by Katy Perry’s song “Harley’s in Hawaiʻi”. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Skies of pink and purple glowed neatly as the sun descended from sight against the horizon. The waves of the cool ocean were light and repetitive as it brushed against the sand dunes of the shore.
The lonely road was a barrier between the sunset kissed beach and the sleeping valley that remained covered in a shroud of green life.
As the wind ripped passed Dejun’s ears, his hands remained tightly around your waist, his chin sat on your shoulders and he held you close as if his life depended on it.
Because it did. Well, kind of.
The roaring of the harley filled the air as you sped down the empty road. Dejun held you close, his fingers grasping, arms encasing and soul intertwining with yours as you pushed the harley to speeds that were likely illegal. Of course Dejun didn't mind, he knew you wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt him. However, as the tourist this time around in the relationship, he couldn’t help but worry for you. He didn’t want you having to fight for your life with law enforcement over something avoidable.
Despite the worry that simmered deep down, the thrill was breathtaking. It was moments like these that made his heart do cartwheels. Nothing could compare to the simplicity of just being with you. Together like this. Driving between a sunset and a tranquil valley. It was simple. It was fun. It was so you.
The slowing of the motorcycle brought Dejun out of his thoughts. "Why'd you stop?" He asked as he pulled his head from its spot on your shoulder.
A red traffic light struggled to shine against the sun's waning glare. And you turned your head curiously towards your lover.
"Because... The light is red."
"That never stopped you before."
Your face heated up swiftly at his blunt honesty. Despite his innocent nature, you savored the moments where he tested his own boundaries.
"Might wanna hold on then."
The chuckles that left his lips were ones of pure happiness. In that moment, he could have hated how reckless you could possibly be. Or hated how he was stuck on the back of a motorcycle of a thrill seeker.
Instead, he cherished that moment, and so many more like them. Your words. Your voice. Your presence. The feeling of your body. Everything. Nothing in that moment mattered because there was nothing to worry about anymore. Not when they were together, under the embrace of both the sun and moon.
Readily returning to his place attached to your back. Gracing your shoulder with the weight of his head, the harley roared to life before taking off once more. Speeding forward on the empty highway, under the glow of pink and purple skies.
This had to be the most dehumanizing thing Jeonghan had ever had to do.
Never in his entire existence had he ever been forced to endure such a strenuous and brutal torture on behalf of another. Like seriously, how did the tiny creature of his have the will power to sit through this god’s forsaken movie.
Two to three hours for a movie about people with powers time traveling to save the decimation of their peoples, it was exhausting. Jeonghan had wished to have returned to the underground life for only a split second. But the constant sounds exuding from his son was the only thing keeping the single father sane and grounded.
How Chan came to adore the Avengers must be Jeonghan’s greatest setback throughout his tenure as a father.
‘But then again, most seven year old boys liked this kind of stuff right?’
Jeonghan could only assume so. There was no way his son would be hypnotized by something so fictitious without it being in relation to his former occupation. Much to Jeonghan’s relief, it was not in most ways unrelated to his past career. So his worries about overly-exposing Chan were unfounded when it came to the Avengers. Hopefully it stayed that way.
“Thank you for the movie papa!”
Chan’s elated nature always found a way to bring light to Jeonghan’s broody nature. If being a single father meant enduring hours upon hours of cinema he didn’t understand; just to see a genuine smile on his child’s face… then Jeonghan agreed it was a decent enough trade.
Happiness did take time, the last time Jeonghan checked.
“It’s no problem Channie. But please can we watch something more… ‘fun’ next time?” Preferably some opera or some live theatre.
“What part of Avengers: Endgame wasn’t fun? It had everything! Fighting, jokes and fighting.”
“It would seem we have some very different definitions of the word fun.”
“No, you like watching ancient people screaming. I like watching superheroes.”
Jeonghan’s wipped down to his son’s direction so fast, brain processing and reprocessing his song’s crude depiction of real art.
“How dare you! Opera is a sophisticated art, only the greatest beings take pleasure in opera.”
Chan broke out in a fit of giggles at his father’s defense of the opera. Jeonghan however, puffed up his chest in an attempt to seem more durable in his son’s vision. As if that was gonna aid in changing his son’s mind.
His son’s laughter was one of the most cherished sounds Jeonghan could ever hear. He made that discovery after this one time when he slipped on some baby food that found its way on the floor. That was back during Jeonghan’s first few years as a dad. Chan’s screaming was just about to win over his sanity after he struggled to feed his son, a failed effort to halt his son’s tears. Jeonghan had thought in that moment, he would suffer his very first loss as a parent. Being forced to know he held the inability to comfort his own son.
But some spilled baby food and a single misstep was enough to bring the man to the ground. Oddly enough, he came down in the same manner that most animated characters do when stepping on a banana peel. And with the temporary pain that engulfed him, came out the bursting of laughter from Chan’s young mouth.
Granted, there has been a long journey and change from when Chan was an infant to now as a seven year old. But the sentiment remained. Jeonghan’s typical displeasure equated to some form of laughing outburst from his dear child.
“Don’t worry papa. I still love you and your screaming music.”
Jeonghan could only close his eyes and groan, triggering more giggles to erupt from Chan.
He was lucky Jeonghan loved him.
Love was surprisingly an inauspicious thing for Jeonghan. His parents, his siblings and almost every failed relationship. All of it seemed to have left a bitter taste on the former agent. But with Chan, love seemed different. At the expense of one life, Jeonghan had learned what true love was in this new life.
Chan was the center of his world. Nothing but his smile was the ultimate goal for Jeonghan to achieve. The former spy figured, since he failed at being a son, a brother and a lover, the least he could do is try to be the best father he could. At least then he’d be worthy of being loved.
And eventually through his efforts he was.
“Papa”
“Yes, little one?”
“Can we watch Black Widow tomorrow?”
“Now why would we watch a movie on a spider?”
“Not the spider papa” the happy child laughed out, “The Superhero. It comes after Avengers: Endgame.”
“Another superhero movie?”
Jeonghan’s exhausted tone does nothing to halt Chan’s optimism.
“Yes papa! Please!”
Another brutal couple hours of more superhero cinema he has yet to understand. Damn… he spoiled his son too much.
“Fine. After breakfast tomorrow we’ll come back and watch your revengers movie.”
“YAYYYYY!!!”
Chan’s quick little victory jump into the air and his radiant smile warmed Jeonghan’s heart, and just then he realized something for the hundredth time.
pairing: Sire Lee Taeyong & Spawn Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
genre: angst (character death) / vampire au
estimated word count: 700 words
a/n: Based around the song Requiem On Water by Imperial Mammoth. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Dry tears and sobs escaped Taeyong as he struggled to contemplate the scene set before him. He couldn’t understand how it got this far. With the vampire holding his spawn, his only child in the numerous eons of his existence, holding Haechan close to his chest as the dark magic poisoned him from within.
He assumed that his spawn, his child, his Haechan, the light of his life, would be a force to be eternally reckoned with. But as this unearthly poison consumed the younger immortal, he had realized that was no longer the case.
“Taeyongie… Papa…. I-it…. It hurts.“
A thick cough erupted from Haechan’s lips, cutting off his broken whimpers and pleas viciously as Taeyong was left trembling. Struggling to entertain the thought of this being the end of the road for his Haechan.
The weak croaking in his dying voice and the wheezes made Taeyong’s frozen heart break. It was so… unnatural to see Haechan in such a state. His Haechan was a spitfire soul. His Haechan was an endless flame of love and energy. His Haechan was the sun, shining brightly and sharing his never ending light with the world. But from this pit of melancholy that consumed Taeyong, a new emotion trickled into his conscience.
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry my son. Papa is so sorry he can’t fix this.”
His words came out in a near whisper as the pain forced him voice to diminish into a shattered mess.
Taeyong felt enraged. He could have prevented this. This shouldn’t have happened. All of this could have been avoided had he been faster. Better. Stronger.
“I-I know Yongie.”
Haechan’s strained voice was almost non-existent, to cruelly scratchy and gargling with viscous, rotten poison and blood. He hated it, Taeyong couldn’t stand the pain in his Haechannie’s voice.
Haechan’s weak grip held his hand softly. Taeyong could almost feel the faintest warmth of Haechan’s touch fade, becoming weaker, colder, emptier by the second. With his head in Taeyong’s lap and the elder’s eyes staring into the younger’s, Taeyong knew there was no possible way he could save Haechan in time.
Taeyong hated the mere thought of death having their way with his son.
It was a cruel twist of fate on both ends. With Haechan suffering for Taeyong’s past, and now Taeyong realizing that after nearly five millennia, he’d return to being something he absolutely hated. Alone.
Not wanting to ruin Haechan’s last minutes mewling over a situation Taeyong knew he couldn’t win, he just gripped his son tighter to his chest. Rubbing soft circles on his cheek, trying to mentally end his Channie’s suffering already.
Sighing and closing his eyes, he felt the pain of Haechan’s dying soul strangle his heartstrings. Ripping them out, root and stem, and crushing them one by one. Taeyong hated feeling like this. Helpless.
Haechan was an immortal being. An angel amongst the filth of mankind. Yet here he was, taking his last breaths because Taeyong himself was nothing like his Haechan. A kind soul. A sweet soul. A human soul. And his past actions have finally caught up to him, and has set to take his son from him.
“Can you… sing a song? Sing a song for me papa.”
Haechan’s words caught him off guard. Pulling Taeyong out of his thoughts that were now embossed with sorrow.
“What?”
“I always loved your voice… I-“ Another coughing fit, nearly strangling what little breath his son had “want it…. be the last thing I hear. Please papa.”
Every word from his mouth ate away at Taeyong’s sanity. But pulling himself together one last time, he began.
“The eyes that look up lifeless, from our twins below”
A weak but wholehearted smile appeared on Haechan’s face, as Taeyong’s angelic voice struggled to hold firm, and delivered its beautiful essence.
“Though your arms and legs are under,
Love will be the echo in your ears,”
Taeyong struggled to keep the sobs at bay as he caressed the breathing face of his son for the last time.
“when all is lost and plundered”
And as Taeyong sang despite his chains of sorrow, Haechan’s eyes slowly closed for the very last time. The disgusting black poison pooling out from every crevice on the younger’s beautiful, sun kissed skin.
“My love will be there still.”
And with the last whisper of their song, Taeyong could only roar in wrathful misery as he held his dead son in his arms.
The former agent froze at his son’s words. Of course he was familiar with what a lullaby was. But since when did being a singer ever come with the job of being a parent? Jeonghan sighed in slight annoyance, being a spy was easier than being a parent.
“Chan it’s already so late. Midnight in fact. Do you really need a lullaby to send you to bed, little one?”
Chan’s growing, toothy smile was a stark contrast to his obviously sleep ridden eyes. Eyes that struggled to even remain open.
“Yes.”
Jeonghan exhaled a small chuckle at Chan’s sleep ridden cheeriness. How he ended up with such a firecracker for a son will always leave him wondering.
‘I thought children were supposed to be products of their parents? This child is not broody, callous, nor holds a single droplet of wrath within his heart.’
Moving over to allow his father to lay down next to him, Chan’s smile maintained itself, in anticipation for another lullaby from his father.
“Tell me again why you want to-“
“Need. I need a lullaby papa.”
“Apologies, my bad. Tell me again why you ‘need’ to hear a lullaby before you close your eyes.”
Jeonghan watched with a softened heart as his son looked up to the man with nothing but wonder in his eyes.
“Because! Uncle Shua said that if you go to sleep happy, then you’ll have happy dreams. And I want happy dreams!”
Jeonghan thought back to that moment, way back when he had first become a single father. Escaping a life of espionage was difficult. Leaving said life to start anew as a single parent…. even more difficult.
Chan was four when Joshua stopped the two one day at a nearby park. Jeonghan was consumed with rage and worry at that time. Fearing his former coworker had come on behalf of the league for another mission, or worse. To come and take his Chan away—For no spy can work successfully when they have things that they love… as Wonwoo had always said, love was the death of duty and vice versa—Jeonghan wasn’t exactly ecstatic at his visit.
Luckily, Joshua was just visiting, and stopped to say hello. Chan was in awe with Joshua’s stories of adventurous spies and secret warriors who fought in the dark. And how if you go to sleep wanting something, you can sometimes dream of want it is you want. Jeonghan was too busy in a sour mood to notice his son internalizing every little word from the only piece of his father’s life prior to Chan’s presence.
“I see you took your uncle’s words to heart, little one.”
Chan nodded calmly at Jeonghan’s words.
“Well, since you so desperately love to dream happy things, may I start that lullaby?”
“What does desk-er-tly mean?”
Jeonghan neatly shushed the young one before starting.
Hush now my little one
Please don’t you cry
Lay your head down
On my shoulder and sigh
The sun has gone away
Papa will pray
Silence will keep all, while you’re asleep
Jeonghan’s humming of the last few notes at the end, was just enough for Chan to succumb to the realm of slumber. And Jeonghan could smile at the precious sight before him.
“Goodnight my son.”
Leaving his son with a soft kiss to the forehead, Jeonghan walked out and onto his own bed, hoping to possibly have wonderful and bright dreams as well that night.
Donghyuck got up quickly, turning to the new voice behind him. Mark. The most extraordinarily average dude left in the apocalypse.
“Hey Lee.”
“Hey Lee.”
Donghyuck smiled lightly as Mark proceeded to take a seat beside him, on the roof of the Griffith Observatory. Turning his head back to the night sky, Mark followed suit.
“What exactly are you doing?”
Donghyuck’s smile grew just a bit smaller at Mark’s curiosity. He typically wasn’t one to ask questions, so it ignited a small flare inside himself to know that Mark was the slightest bit interested in something about the younger.
Gesturing towards the sky, Donghyuck was quick with his response. “I like to count the stars on some nights. Usually, the ash and smoke from the fires or just leftover dust left in the atmosphere blocks out the stars. So I just try to find all the stars in the sky.”
A small smile found its way upon Mark’s own lips as the calming thought of stargazing graced his mind.
“Me and Nana stargazed once, it was really fun.”
And there goes Donghyuck’s smile. Of course he couldn’t even breathe without the constant reminder that the guy he was crushing on was already in a relationship. With someone better, with someone more beautiful, with Nana. Jaemin.
Granted the name didn’t really match the personality, you would have to be foolish to even slightly discredit Nana. He was just simply, a badass. ‘Maybe even more so than Johnny’ but Donghyuck would never openly admit that.
“I never took you for one of them people that’s into cosmetology.”
Confusion consumed Donghyuck’s face so swiftly that Mark seemed to notice something was evidently wrong. Of course Mark was nothing more than confused himself.
“What?”
“Do you mean cosmology?”
Mark now faced to her seemed to sink into more confusion at the younger’s question.
“That’s what I said.”
“No. You said cos-Meh-tology. I said cos-mall-logy.”
“Yeah, cosmetology, the study of the stars.”
Donghyuck felt his eye twitch at Mark’s words. Equally bewildered and exasperated at the elder’s statement.
“No. Cosmology is the studies of the stars. Cosmetology, cos-MEH-tology is the studies and practice of make up and beautification.”
Donghyuck could only internally face palm at the way Mark’s mouth circled largely in realization.
“No wonder Nana looked at me like I had two heads when I said that to him.”
Donghyuck only sighed in exasperation. Now, all he could think of was one sarcastic thing in this moment.
summary: Donghyuck finds himself in over his head after traversing space and time.
pairing: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & NCT
genre: angst / sci-fi
estimated word count: 2000 words
a/n: If it’s not clear, essentially hyuck discovered a pathway to the second dimension… and well things there are little too good to be true. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Donghyuck whipped in the direction of those words. Other-Jisung stared at him, those eyes of gold, once something Donghyuck thought so fascinating when he first arrived in this second dimension. Now seemed calculating, expectant and possibly even… soulless.
“Sungie… you know I can’t stay. This…”
Donghyuck paused, gesturing to the perfect blue skies, the painfully bright green of the plants, the rushing sapphire of the river nearby, and the group of others, these other versions of his friends, his family, his brothers. All of them happy, smiling, laughing, playing together without a care in the world. Their inhumane eyes shining so bright, and their laughters almost sounding too high to be his brothers. Donghyuck pointed out, trying to show the Other-Jisung just how unnaturally perfect this new world was for someone like himself. Donghyuck wasn’t meant for something so perfect. He wasn’t deserving of it.
“This isn’t my world. I… I just don’t fit in here. I don’t want to ruin all that you have here.”
Other-Jisung jerked in horror and disgust at the elder’s words. Donghyuck almost winced at the way the younger seemed to morph into pure wrath for only a second before cooling his expression, taking a second to inhale and exhale before starting.
“How could you ever think so low of yourself hyung… I don’t get it! Do people of this… alternate world of yours… do they make you feel like this?”
Other-Jisung’s words came out more like an accusation, rather than a question. And Donghyuck couldn’t stop the icy feeling that crept upon his skin as he stared at the boy before him.
When Donghyuck dived into that pond hoping to escape his members and his idol life for just a moment, he never expected to fall through space and time. The second dimension was everything Donghyuck wanted in the world.
Never ending sunshine. Birds singing, dogs dancing across the fields, the fish gracing the water in schools. The cool wind carried the perfect aroma. His brothers, all together, all of them: peaceful, unburdened and happy. And himself, present to experience it all.
This was Haechan’s world.
And so Donghyuck had made it his little secret. His newest prized possession. The perfect world to break from the bondages of reality. And the first few times he came in and out, Donghyuck had been enraptured, mesmerized and beyond enamored at the sanctity of the Other World.
But the longer he stayed, the more the perfection became imperfect. The sun shined for too long. The birds sang the same song every day. The wind had started to grow cold under the rays of the sun.
But the heaviest to bear, was his new relationships with his Other-brothers.
The Other-hyungs were exceptionally protective over his every need and desires. The simplest wish for food would see Other-Doyoung cook him a feast and more some… only for Donghyuck. The mere idea of someone not Donghyuck, eating the food Other-Doyoung had prepared for him, saw the chef explode in wrath. A splinter from a tree saw Other-Johnny set the tree aflame. Other-Taeyong even followed some stranger who had simply looked at Donghyuck in a way the Other had hated.
The Other-dongsaengs however, at first Donghyuck adored the way they fretted over his every move. He enjoyed the way they followed him around. And he enjoyed the way they reciprocated every piece of touch, love and appreciation he gave them.
Yet, it took no longer than a few weeks for Donghyuck to finally open his eyes to what he believed to be their perception of him.
“I love Channie-hyung!”
“Haechannie, wanna play Fortnite with me?”
“Haechan-ah, are you okay?”
“Leave our Haechan alone!”
“Haechannie…”
“Haechan-ah…”
Haechan.
It was as Donghyuck first realized. This was Haechan’s world. The second dimension served as Haechan’s paradise.
But he wasn’t just Haechan, he was also Lee Donghyuck.
And so, the first mention of his birth name came about and soon after, Donghyuck was forced to endure the silent spiral of suspicion and hovering from the other members.
There was barely a moment where eyes weren’t on him every time he graced the second world with his presence.
He didn’t miss the way Other-Jungwoo would scrunch his face when Donghyuck mentioned anything about the Others’ counterparts in his world. Or the way Other-Renjun’s eyes darkened at the mention of tiny anecdotes of his members. He especially didn’t miss the way almost all of his Other-brothers never uttered his name, his true name. Donghyuck. Despite hearing him mention it on occasion, not once have the others ever taken the second to even whisper the name.
All of it was culminating, Donghyuck knew that for sure. Bound to rupture and ensnare both his heart and theirs. And Donghyuck was terrified of which way the coin was going to land. His Other-brothers have never given him a reason to be afraid or worried in any way possible.
But Donghyuck never enjoyed confrontation.
And he’d be lying if he said he had his doubts on the way this one was going to play out. The fact that it came in the form of Other-Jisung was enough to throw enough of Donghyuck’s game and mental fortitude out into the abyss.
“No, not really.” Donghyuck whimpered out. His mind flashing back to the latest scolding he got for being overbearing again. It spoke volumes that he couldn’t remember which hyung snapped at him this time—had he become accustomed to the spite and disinterest of his family, to the point where everything simply blurred over as one and the same.
He didn’t want to admit that.
“What do you mean not really?”
Other-Jisung was rapid in his response, head tilting and a dangerous look in his eyes. Donghyuck felt the goosebumps spread on his skin, the cold feeling in his chest and soul invading his senses as he eyed the Other.
“Well… I don’t know Sungie. I-I just… it just gets hard sometimes you know” Donghyuck gestured out, trying to relieve the growing radiation of heat and contempt the Other-maknae was visibly showing towards his home. Donghyuck’s home.
“Sometimes I just want to take a breath away from it all. But they’re still my home… they’re still my family-“
“This could be your home! Are we not your family hyung!” Other-Jisung snapped out. Donghyuck didn’t even realize he was backed up against a tree.
When did I move back?
When did Other-Jisung get so close?
And why did he have to be taller than me?
Donghyuck may have seen himself as a maknae through and through, and the idea of tampering in other dimensions may have grounded his gears every now and again. But there was no way he was going to let himself be intimidated by someone—even a neat imitation of said someone—he loved.
“I never said you weren’t my family Sungie-“
“Then why-“
“Please let me finish Jisungie!”
Donghyuck’s tiny rise in volume was enough to have the Other-maknae back down. Taking a few steps back, head hanging as his eyes continued to shine with wrath. All the while, Donghyuck took the spare seconds to calm his nerves and halt the growing urge to flee. He couldn’t just leave the boy before him hanging.
These Other-members of his had been there to comfort him, to hold him and wipe his tears away. The same tears his own brothers would create in him, with their careless comment or lackluster—or sometimes heart aching response to his affections. The Others were his escape when the night got too cold to bear. And for that he will always be grateful.
But he needed to speak his truth. This was Haechan’s home, not Donghyuck’s home. And it was about time Donghyuck woke up and stopped fawning for unattainable dreams and fantasies.
“Sungie… no amount of words can ever express how much you all mean to me. You took me in when I was unknowingly at my lowest. You gave me the refuge I needed to regain myself. You made me feel like what it meant to be Haechan again.”
Donghyuck paused as the guilt of watching the scene before him held him. Other-Jisung still held the horrible wrath on his face, but his lips trembled with every release of water from the younger’s glassy eyes. He didn’t mean to make the Other cry, and he hated himself for it.
“T-then why hyung… why do you want to leave again? Are we not enough? You were always Haechan. You’re my Haechannie-hyung. You may not be of our world, and I know you know our original Haechan is gone… But you’re still him. You’d never have to worry about missing hugs or not getting enough joy and smiles coming your way… not when you’re with us. Not in this world hyung. We love you! We love you so much Channie-hyung.”
Donghyuck's heart felt as if it was being flayed alive. He couldn’t handle it. Only more reason to leave. He was getting attached. Attached to this perfect world that was never his. Attached to this reality that was not his. Attached to a fantasy that CANNOT BE HIS.
“But I’m also Donghyuck, Sungie. And Donghyuck belongs to the other world. It’s not the best… that we can both agree on. But it’s home. The same way this was Haechan’s home. Donghyuck needs to go back to his home”
Donghyuck paused to overlook the Other before him. The tears remained on the younger, and Donghyuck couldn’t stop the innate urge for him to wipe them away. Taking a few cautious steps forward, Donghyuck stood before the younger, whose glare was marred by tears and shivers. Donghyuck didn’t hesitate to wipe away the tears, and took both of his hands to softly caress the face of the Other-maknae before him.
He didn’t know how long he stood there, trying his best to exude an aura of peace and tranquility, hoping it would seep into the younger before him. It took some time, but eventually, Other-Jisung’s sneer crumpled, instead, he looked down to his feet with his eyes closed, almost as if he was ignoring the world around him. Donghyuck sighed sadly, still rubbing the Other’s cheeks before continuing.
“Please understand why I’m doing this Sungie. Please trust what I’m doing is not to hurt you. I just need my home. I promise I’ll be back. How could I ever leave you all eternally? I could never do that. But I do have things I must do back home. Please trust me and my love for you all. I’ll come back.”
Sungie only sighed, before he took a step back to detach himself from the elder. Donghyuck sighed, taking the move as the other’s reluctant acceptance. Donghyuck smiled sadly before making his exit.
“Thank you Sungie. Hyung loves and appreciates you so much. I love you uri maknae.”
And with the silent promise to come back, Donghyuck was off into the tree line of the forest, with the intent to find the pond to head back home. He was too far away to hear the silent apologies of the Other-Jisung however, as he pulled out his phone and called who he needed to.
“Jisung-ah? What did Haechan-ah say?”
Other-Jisung couldn’t stop the whimper that came out at the pain of having to watch his Channie-hyung leave with the intention to go find those heartless bastards from his home world. He was even more apologetic at what was to take place only moments from now, since it was clear that Other-Jisung failed in his mission.
“I’m sorry Taeyong-hyung… those monsters have their hooks too deep in him. They want their Donghyuck back now… he’s heading to the pond right now.”
Other-Jisung stood there, awaiting for Other-Taeyong’s response. Which was just as Other-Jisung expected, filled with pain etched into its voice.
“Then we have no choice. Go back to the tower, and prepare his room for him. Let hyungs take care of this Jisung-ah. We won’t lose Haechan-ah to those selfish demons, I promise you that. Go get some rest.”
“Okay hyung. Thank you.”
And with the ending of that call, Other-Jisung sighed out another shallow breath, hoping to all of those below and beneath that his Haechannie-hyung could be saved. For this alter-world didn’t deserve his Haechannie-hyung.
And if his family needed to force the truth down someone’s throat for both the alterns or his hyung to realize, then Other-Jisung was okay with it. Everything was going to be alright one way or another.
summary: Jun is the only one who can handle seeing Vernon in the hospital.
pairing: Wen Junhui & Vernon Chwe
genre: angst / hopeful
estimated word count: 1000 words
a/n: I was initially gonna leave it with a sad ending but then I was like… nah. Remember folks, copying other people’s works is plagiarism and that’s illegal. Don’t be that kind of person. Anyways, hope you all enjoy it :)
Jun kept the smile on his face despite getting no response. Putting down the bag of lunch for one. It was almost second nature for Jun to simply move past it. It shocked him how he could field staying here with Vernon the most out of the rest of Seventeen.
With some like Seungcheol, too emotionally unstable to the point of rage or worse, culpable breakdowns. Or on the other end of the spectrum like Chan, who could do nothing but stare, emotionally constipated—or in the case of Seungkwan and Mingyu, emotionless—A silent chasm always sitting between both youngest members of their group.
“The menu today is Twix. And yes I know it’s only eight in the morning, but that seems to be the only thing this hospital has to offer that didn’t look too overbearing. Did you want one noni?”
Silence once again.
“Of course I made sure to get you two. You didn’t get the nickname Twix for no reason.”
Jun sighed, the semi-artificial smile on his lips and burdened eyes linger away from his brother into the small bag of goodies he bought for the day. Seven Twix bars, some ramen packs for lunch and some choco pies and pepero for dinner. The typical meal plan Jun had grown accustomed to during every visit to see Vernon.
“Seokmin and Mingyu got into another argument. It was so hilarious. Guess what it was about?”
Jun sat down, opening a Twix bar, munching away after he put the two he got for Vernon with every visit in the once-used flower vase. A vase that was now almost completely full with Twix bars. The elder sighed as he eyed the vase, annoyed at how fast he felt the vase filled up.
“They got mad because someone dropped Seokmin’s toothbrush on the floor and didn’t pick it up. He unloaded on the last person who used the bathroom, which just so happened to be Mingyu.”
Jun paused for a response that never came, only continuing after swallowing the bite of his Twix that he took.
“Well, Mingyu was not having it. He went off. Mind you, this happened the other day, early in the morning, so their fight woke up the others. Cheollie-hyung was not happy. That whole morning was a shit-show to be honest. You’re lucky to have been able to escape. Hyung and Jihoon-ah was ruthless at practice that morning.”
Jun finished his Twix, quickly disposing of his trash before pulling out his phone.
“I know you can’t see what I’m about to show you, but I’m sure you can just hear in his voice how pissed Jihoon-ah was at that practice. And to have Cheol-hyung back him up on everything… was kinda afraid the others were about to mutiny.”
Jun played the video of that day in dance practice he had on his phone, laughing every now again at his favorite parts. And once it reached the point where even Soonyoung was getting snarky, Jihoon was quick with a sassy shutdown before starting the music again. Jun could only laugh, cause while everyone else in the group found the memory annoying, Jun loved how almost normal this seemed.
“Sometimes I wonder how so much sass could be contained in such a tiny body. Ain’t I right Twix?”
No response once again. Jun smiled, nodding his head in agreement. “You right noni, must be an age thing. Us hyungs must be getting better with our sass as we age, aren’t we?”
Silence.
Jun sighed. Routine followed through as he pushed his hair back, leaning back in his chair to take a couple more deep breaths before returning his attention to the boy laying before him.
“You know, hyung loves visiting you noni. But I really miss you”
Jun's smile cracked a bit, as he leaned against the bed where the maknae laid. His eyes began to water as the elder recited the same little monologue he did every visit.
“I miss seeing your eyes shine. I miss hearing your voice cheer and laugh…”
Jun tried each time he gave this speech, to hold back his tears. To stop the stone in his throat from strangling him from within. To halt the rush of sadness that sucked to swallow him whole everyday that passed with no news.
“I-“
Jun cleared the tears away from his eyes before taking one of Vernon’s slightly chilled hands. Positioning it so that Jun held it up in holding his own cheek. Jun leaned into the younger’s hand as it artificially caressed him. Trying in any way possible to transfer the strength and love he had for the younger to the maknae who laid there. Silent. And asleep.
“Please noni. I know I ask so much of you right now. And you might even have your reasons to not want to do this”
Jun wiped the last of his tears away as he re-solidified the steel in his mind, still gently keeping Vernon’s hand on his cheek.
“But I need you to wake up. We need our noni back so badly. I miss you, we all miss you so much sollie. Please wake up.”
And for what felt like the hundredth time, Jun only received silence from his comatose brother.
Jun refused the tears that threatened to spill once again, instead closing his eyes to enjoy the feeling of Vernon’s fingers. And for the slightest second, Jun dwelled in despair at another day enduring this torture alongside his brother.
But those thoughts and designs of pain and anguish vanished when Jun felt a sudden pressure against his face.
Eyes shooting open as Vernon’s finger shook and gripped ever so slightly on their own. Jun held his breath as he sat there, unable to move or speak as the feeling of movement by Vernon took hold of his consciousness.
And with it, optimism flooded Jun’s heart and soul, with a crashing of waves so powerful, Jun released them in the form of new tears. Brighter and happier tears came rolling down the elder’s face in a never ending stream of hope.
Jongho winced as his bedroom door slammed open, revealing a black blur a meter or so away from the incapacitated maknae. He was too busy struggling with consciousness as his head reverberated with more pain. His eyes stung with tears as he heaved out an irritated sigh.
Was sleep too much to ask for?
He didn’t have the energy to keep his eyes open. Opting to instead remain laying in self-imposed darkness as he tried to settle the ringing in his head. He was really thirsty too—an afterthought in his opinion. Sleep seemed like a better goal to strive for.
"My little baby..."
But despite the ringing of his head, the weakness of his limbs, and the throbbing of his throat, Jongho’s internal alarms went off. He couldn’t comprehend the possibility completely, but he had an inkling that the voice that called to him was unfamiliar.
"Oh no. Is little baby sick?"
Definitely unfamiliar.
Jongho couldn’t help but freeze up. His fear and desire for security overrode his pain as he forced his eyes open.
The room was still wobbly, and the only light in his room came from the open door that let light in from the hallway. But the light was enough to shine through and reveal that hovering above him was the silhouette of a body.
A body he didn’t recognize.
With a voice he didn’t know.
Jongho couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped past his lips as his body iced over in fear. His joints locked him in place. His breath was trapped in his lungs and throat, unable to escape. And his mind sang cruel and horrible symphonies to him, taunting him, teasing him, and threatening him.
There was an intruder. And here they stood before Jongho.
"There’s no need for that."
Jongho’s nerves went into overdrive as the physical exhaustion from being sick and dehydrated came back in harsh waves. Layered with paralyzing fear, Jongho could only shiver in his bed as this man, this creature, this monster wiped away the tears from Jongho’s face. Tears that he didn’t even know were beginning to rivulet their way down his face.
"I’m going to take very good care of you, baby."
The intruder’s fingers were dry, rough, and calloused. Jongho could only cry further as the man’s fingers so insultingly caressed his cheeks and at the way this monster cooed and chuckled at his tears.
Jongho didn’t like this. He wanted this to stop. He wanted his hyungs. He wanted to go home to his family. But he didn’t know what he could possibly do. So he only did what he could. Let more tears escape as his pleas became verbal.
"P-P-Please... leave me alone."
Those weren’t the words the cruel stranger wanted to hear. Something Jongho realized a few quiet moments later as the caress on his cheeks became a bruising grip. He tried. He tried so badly to fight back. But the exhaustion of pulling his head or lifting his arms or a leg to push, shove, or even kick away the intruder was all for naught.
He was too weak.
And Jongho could only cry more as that truth sank in viciously.
Jongho could only lay there, tears burning down his cheeks, as the man screamed in his face. He was beyond understanding what the intruder had been saying. However, slurs of certain words had made it through...
"…Mine…"
"…Never…"
"…Lesson…"
Fear had never encapsulated him the way it did in those hazy moments.
Jongho didn’t want this.
He wanted his hyungs. He wanted to be left alone. He wanted the man to stop yelling. He wanted some peace and quiet. He wanted the stranger to stop touching him. He wanted his hyungs to hold him.
He wanted this monster gone. He wanted the intruder dead. He wanted to be dead. He just wanted it to be over.
Why wasn’t it over?
•••
Hongjoong’s heart pounded in his ears as he approached the broken door to his dorm. Adrenaline and fear fueled his body. Passing through the defiled threshold of his home, he paid no mind to the gasps of shock, anger, and horror from the staff and members behind him. He felt unbalanced. Uncentered from his own sanity as his mind ran a marathon of horrible scenarios, all of them with one constant.
Jongho.
Where was he? Was he okay? Why wasn’t he picking up his phone when the captain tried calling him again?
So many things prodded at Hongjoong’s sanity in concerns for the youngest of his brothers. He didn’t know what to expect when he thought he would find Jongho. Relief. Ease. Content. Possibly anger at the possible trauma the maknae could be subjected to. Or maybe even culpable melancholy, seeing as he failed to protect Jongho from the tortures of the world, like he promised he would.
But pushing himself past the entrance of the youngest’s room to see what he did, Hongjoong’s vision closed in on itself. Red and black was his only sight. One moment, Hongjoong stood at the door, watching as the intruder forced a pillow over the face of a shivering maknae. The next, hands and feet were moving. His nose burned with pain. His arms stung the same way they did after hours spent lifting weights. He felt hands everywhere on his body: on his face, around his neck and waist, upon his wrists, hair, and arms.
His own hands felt as if they were forced through a meat grinder, stinging, burning, and throbbing in agony. One of his feet was aflame, sending dozens of painful shockwaves up his leg, yet he couldn’t be bothered. The inside of the captain’s throat felt mutilated and mangled, as if he had swallowed glass. All of this culminated in a shadow of time, as Hongjoong only regained consciousness when he felt a sudden compression against the back of his head.
Blinking, sirens, and the yells of numerous voices filtered in slowly as Hongjoong slowly regained control over his own sight and sanity.
"He’s safe. No more Joong-ah. No more."
Hongjoong recognized that voice.
Finally taking note of his surroundings, he realized that he was being pinned down. His cheek pressed firmly against the cold and wet floor. A set of hands pressed his legs into place on the ground. Another set held his hands firmly in place behind his back, while Seonghwa’s face took up the majority of his obscured vision.
He felt weak; his ears rang, and his body bruised as he struggled to take in the scene before him as he was slowly released from the confines of his hands.
He was being held down by the joint forces of Seonghwa, Yunho, and one of their managers. A trio that he struggled to register in his brain as their mouths moved and their eyes danced with concern and fear. Looking around the room, he noticed how four other staff members were dragging away the limp and bloodied body.
The intruder.
That stranger that defiled his home.
The monstrosity that hurt a member of his family.
Red spots danced in his peripheral vision as his mind leveled itself with sick glee. Satisfaction and pleasure overcame the numerous unattended cuts, scrapes, and bruises that littered Hongjoong’s skin as he found joy in the utter impact of his wrath. In Hongjoong’s mind, he didn’t care if charges were going to be filed. No idol image or any amount of fame or monetary cost would have mattered to him. His soul alone would have never forgiven himself if he didn’t exact the justice he deemed fit upon those that threatened or harmed what was his. And this home—the other members, Jongho—all of it was his.
"H-hyung.."
The soft hiccup drew Hongjoong’s attention completely as he turned around, his eyes glazing over in guilt and righteous fury as he collected the scene before him. Jongho sat on Yeosang’s lap, covered with a blanket, embraced by the arms of Yeosang, Mingi, and San. Wooyoung sat at the maknae’s feet, betwixt the captain and maknae, with a certain glint in his eye that Hongjoong couldn’t decipher. Had his head stopped spinning sooner and his mental state not been completely pushed past its capacity, Hongjoong would have recognized the fear in the younger man’s eyes.
Fear that Wooyoung had for their leader and his anger. But it wasn’t his eyes that Hongjoong took the time to dissect. Jongho’s eyes were red and glassy. A typhoon of emotion poured out of Jongho’s eyes as he slumped harder into Yeosang’s embrace. His body was still shivering, and his breath was still hiccuping. He was struggling to follow San and Mingi’s gentle pleas to accentuate his breathing.
Hongjoong rose up quickly, ignoring the calls and hands trying to halt his motions. He limped slowly, only now noticing the pain in his legs as he pushed to make his way before his youngest brother.
Wooyoung, however, seemed to have another train of thought, different from Hongjoong’s, seeing as he stood up at the same time as his captain. Quickly standing before Hongjoong in a guard-like demeanor as he attempted to defy and deny Hongjoong. The others in the room held their breath at the display, clearly recognizing a potential disaster, yet Hongjoong didn’t care. He didn’t know what motives Wooyoung had, but all he could do was stare. No malice, no anger, no wrath, or ill will were translated between the stares the two latched onto one another. But still, a heavy and depressed tension weighed on those in the room.
"It’s o-okay, Hyung."
Jongho’s voice was raspy as it called out to the second-youngest. Wooyoung deflated as the built-up tension and fear of blocking Hongjoong from Jongho escaped his body. The second youngest instead slowly made his way next to Mingi, latching a hand onto the elder’s arm as he joined those encircling the maknae. Hongjoong felt immense relief and a tremor throughout his body as he came down to his knees. Sitting down calmly before Jongho, as if the captain hadn’t just beaten an intruder to the cusp of death.
"Jongho-ah…" Hongjoong whispered, his voice strained, and his mind filled with guilt, pain, and worry. And worst of all, shame. Shame that he failed as a captain, as a friend, and as a brother. Shame that in Jongho’s most severe moment of need, Hongjoong had subjected the youngest to a horror film. Hongjoong had lost control. Hongjoong had almost killed a man. And Jongho, sick and injured, was traumatized twice over, all because Hongjoong had failed. "Hyung…. Hyung is so s-sor-"
"No."
Hongjoong's heart froze, and his eyes started to water as he stared up at Jongho. The maknae still remained firmly in Yeosang’s embrace. One hand latched securely over his blanket, the other in San’s hands. His head lay within the crook of Yeosang’s neck, but his wet and red eyes narrowed fiercely and lovingly down to the captain sitting before him.
"T-T-Thank you. Thank you, Hyung. You saved me."
The captain wanted to deny his words. Hongjoong wanted to scream about how Jongho shouldn’t be thanking him for his foolishness. It was his idea to let Jongho sleep it off alone. And it nearly got him killed. Hongjoong needed to suffer for his part in Jongho’s torture, and the captain knew that with all his heart.
Yet all Hongjoong could do was break under the glassy eyes of his maknae. Not wasting a second when he noticed Jongho let go of San’s hand, instead holding it out to his captain. That broke the last of Hongjoong’s resolve.
Sitting up quickly on his knees, Hongjoong threw his arms swiftly, fiercely, and protectively over Jongho. The captain broke down in sobs as he tried his damnedest to ingrain Jongho’s essence back into his consciousness.
Jongho was enraptured in his arms.
Jongho was still breathing.
Jongho was safe.
And that alone was enough to restore Hongjoong’s world and sanity, as his embrace of the younger reassured him that he had saved his brother.
“Hyung, where are you? Did one of you guys stop by the dorm?”
Jongho inquired, slightly annoyed that whoever stopped by didn’t even come to check in on him. As if he wasn’t alone, sick and on bed rest for the night, forcibly prescribed by Dr. Matz.
Jongho was irked that whoever it was, was loud enough to wake him up. He thought a gorilla was tearing through the place, doors slamming, things being thrown and/or dropped. A complete ruckus if he ever knew one. The worst part, he could still hear them.
The maknae had a thought to come out of his room and see what the big deal was. But seeing as he could barely move without his fever swallowing his sense of direction and dizziness invading his consciousness, Jongho remained planted in his bed.
Even shouting was out of the question, with the way the back of his throat was on fire and scratchy. Everything just hurt and he just wanted to sleep. And maybe some attention and cuddles from his hyungs, but they didn’t need to know that.
“What? No. We’re all still here at the meeting discussing the coming schedules for next month. We’re all taking a quick intermission before continuing.”
Jongho head spun a bit, the sudden stinging only adding irritation to his confusion. He figured his Hongjoong-hyung must have been left out of the loop again. It was a tiny game Jongho played with San and Wooyoung where they would “forget” to mention something to their leader, but tell everyone else.
Jongho would have let it slide, but the banging and sounds of rummaging was only getting more consistent. Almost as if whoever this was, was digging through every damn cabinet, drawer, closet and room.
The maknae’s head continued to throb. He couldn’t get any rest with the stupid noise, and as such, didn’t have the patience to play along with any games San or Woo had going.
“Well obviously someone is here hyung. They’re making such loud noise hyung, my head is killing me.”
Had Jongho been at his physical best, he probably would not have missed the way his leader’s breath hitched on the other side of the call.
“Jongho-ah… is somebody in the dorm with you right now still?”
Jongho wanted to roll his eyes but he didn’t have the energy. He hated being so agitated but drained, which only agitated him even more.
“Yes hyung. Whoever it is, they’re being really loud. It sounds like they’re trashing the dorm. I just want to sleep hyung.”
Jongho sighed out, hoping to exhale some of the stress his body was undergoing.
All the while, Hongjoong held the phone to his ear as he signaled for someone to call the police.
For there was no way anybody other than Jongho should be at the dorm. The rest of his members were sitting around the same table as him and the three managers with keys into the dorm sat alongside them.
Hongjoong didn’t want his mind to wander into deeper and darker designs, but he couldn’t stop the thorns encasing his heart at the epiphany that hit him only seconds ago.
Someone was in their dorm.
An intruder was in their dorm…
Alone with a sick and weak Jongho.
And the realization only served to raise his adrenaline tenfold as he moved.
