learning to live with myself

Journey, what I learn, as moving forward is a goal... a dream... /overflow. to not clutter mainblog. thoughts, feelings, kitchen sink

[stripedpaws]

you don't have to explain WHY you have your boundaries or limits they are yours and should be respected regardless of why you have them

[vampurrring]

maybe growing up is just becoming who you were at 14 again but learning how to love her this time

[learningtolivewmyself]

people who tell random strangers to kill themselves-- why do they do this?

it's bizarre. probably because they're compensating for something.

I can't take them seriously. but they need serious help.

plus, they can cause damage for someone who is vulnerable enough. I really am glad i cannot understand the impulse to hurt someone. at least, I can't empathize with it. these are the worst sorts of petty and insignificant people--

if you get messages from them, I hope you ignore them. Because they're not worth your notice. definitely not worth listening to.

you should live to spite them.

it's the vulnerable people who are sensitive who have a lot more to offer than the nasty callous people who actually take time to try to goad people into suicide.

I had messages like this. and I can't disguise my loathing for them. I'm just giving people a heads-up and solidarity with anyone going through difficulties. you're the ones that matter. Please, please ignore nasty messages like this.

they're not worth your time. I'm going to ignore them now-- and so can you! <3

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you are not a waste of space.

you are not a burden.

you are not worthless.

you are not a problem.

you are not unlovable.

you are deserving of love and happiness and appreciation and good things.

[learningtolivewmyself]

Some of the nastiest people in the world are the people who tell those who are already fewling bad to commit suicide.

Really? You have nothing better to do than tell people on social media to kill themselves? Nothing productive to say?

Sorry but this is the scum of the earth. Rethink your choices.

[calellon]

unfortunately i could never be nonchalant because i am not well in the head and also my soul is on fire

[novacm-deactivated20260406]

(person who learned from childhood to make themself as small and unimportant as possible to avoid being a burden) yeah its okay we dont have to do my thing if you dont want i dont mind

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

give yourself room to fall apart every once in a while

[learningtolivewmyself]

Every other Tuesday

?

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

don’t know which i feel more like lately: being too much or not enough

[anxietyproblem]

[janetfraiserspenlight]

Always been a burned out fucking disappointment lmao

[syn4k]

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

[syn4k]

So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow

[learningtolivewmyself]

Probably too late for me

I feel most myself when I'm by myself. I do not like the weird cringing chameleon I am when I am with people. I have always been like this so....

I bounce myself off distant /secondhand people like internet and books

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

🚩no money

🚩no prospects

🚩burden to my parents

🚩frightened

[allsadnshit]

Gonna start making reels like "a day in the life of a girl who's afraid of everything"

[queertemporality]

i think people should talk more about the unique sense of hopelessness which stems from the realization that “help” in the form myth promised you does not exist; there is no help coming and you must create from scratch the tools that will dismantle (or at least diminish) your own suffering, and do this not once but every day for the rest of your life

[hermajestyimher]

My approach to relationships? It's simple: I go where I'm cherished and celebrated, never where I'm merely tolerated. I'm never too much or not enough for the right people. I can be me in my fullest self with those that are aligned and for me. I don't feel the need to perform or make myself smaller to be liked or accepted by the wrong crowd.

[learningtolivewmyself]

Idk if I've ever been somewhere I was cherished rather than tolerated

Well. To a point with family. I never fit in with anyone otherwise. But even here I'm on the periphery

I feel like really can't belong anywhere. Because I've never felt appreciated as myself. Mainly ignored, dismissed, despised. Which makes me never want to interact with ppl. Risk equals reward but in my case there isn't much chance of much reward other than just being tolerated rather than embraced

Forever outsider

[learningtolivewmyself]

The truth is i dont have enough social energy to develop any kind of relationship. I never have.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

sometimes staying in one place actually takes more energy than allowing yourself to move forward

[learningtolivewmyself]

Nor for me

Massive inertia of 16 years since college

Idk how you get free of that. Hope is self-delusion at this point.