[leavesofpale]

I found out my best friend is a misogynist

I know he was angry, but a man who angrily types that maybe we should go back to beating bitches is probably going to beat a woman. Now, he's great most of the time, he wasn't always like this, but I am now afraid of him. I can't just end the friendship because I depend on him to be able to get my meds and get my cats to the vet. Normally he's a really great guy and I love him dearly, but I saw a side of him that was genuinely terrifying. If any of his future partners accuses him of literally anything violent, I will believe her.

[leavesofpale]

I have realized that the best way that I can honor Hecate as an atheopagan is by continuing to make my own choices. She is the goddess of the crossroads. There is no right or wrong choice, there is just choice, and I take comfort in knowing she'd never ask me to give up something I truly love.

I'm not quite sure how to define my beliefs. I recognize Hecate as a personification and representation of certain aspects, but I don't think I believe in her as an actual entity, and yet I almost do all the same. She exists outside just belief or non-belief. She understands why I take the position I do and she isn't angry at me for it.

I honor her because choice is important to me. I went through a time when every choice I made was dictated by the demiurge known as the Christian God, and I was afraid and miserable. Believing in deities and supernatural things just makes me feel anxious. I know that myths are myths, and monsters are imagination, and that visions are hallucinations. Living grounded in reality is the best course I can take.

I just got diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Learning about the whole gnostic thing made me panic because when I hallucinated, the voice of the demiurge was the voice I heard. It made things make sense and I took a little comfort in it, yet at the same time I dismiss it because logic dictates that the supernatural isn't real.

It is comforting to know that I don't need faith to end up in a better place, though.

I've gone through an insane amount of growth over the past year and a half. Hecate makes me happy, atheism keeps me grounded. I've settled for a nice middle ground in orthopraxy. I don't believe Hecate is an actual entity, but honoring her (and Gaia) is nice. Its something, and its nice to know that I can work with a deity instead of working for a deity.

I've changed so much, yet I'm back to who I used to be in all the ways I missed most. Still not drinking or using though. Never again. Its not worth it.

[ravenscarphotography]

[ravenscarphotography]

[byjove]

It is crazy to me how many cis dudes are like “My S/O got pregnant and got an abortion without my input/permission and this is a worse portrayal than being cheated on and I am absolutely justified in treating her like garbage after I impregnated her without her permission.” especially when the S/O is just a casual girlfriend and/or has bluntly told him they don’t want kids. I am of the firm belief you do not get to decide what someone does with your sperm after you deposit it in their body, you cannot force them to keep a pregnancy or to abort a pregnancy and having the intent to do so makes you a fucking supervillain. You can inform them you’ll be there financially and would like to coparent if they’re open to it OR you can tell them you have no intention of being a father and will not be in the child’s life but you do not get to control the decision.

The fact your girl did not tell you she was pregnant and had an abortion means she thought you were both clear on not wanting a kid at this time OR she knew you would be a massive fucking asshole about the whole thing. These guys treat it like a personal insult and a wound that someone they’ve been casually fucking for 4 months does not want to go through 9 months of pregnancy and have their baby.

[leavesofpale]

GOD I'M CRINGING SO HARD I WAS SUCH AN OVERDRAMATIC TEENAGER

[leavesofpale]

fuck that could have just as easily been me. what's going to happen if they see what i've sent about my intrusive thoughts and my brain signals getting crossed and messed up? i'm far healthier now, but what if they see that i've had some really fucked up thoughts that i've talked to friends about? I'd never hurt anyone, not animals, not children, nobody innocent. i've had some wild intrusive thoughts where my brain has interpreted the dread and horror as pleasure. my brain has interpreted my hormones and biology as some really fucked up stuff (which i have gone over with my therapist and they agree) and it was all so much worse before i got on my meds. my brain has taken the anxiety and the "do what scares you" mentality and twisted it into horrible things and i am so terrified that the government will take those texts that i've confided to my friends about trying to figure out why i had those intrusive thoughts and physiological responses and use that as grounds to arrest me, to say that i'm a horrible, dangerous predator and need to be locked away forever. it would only be a matter of time before they took away my meds and the intrusive thoughts and delusions and psychosis took hold again.

fuck any of you that voted for this. fuck all of you.

[lakemojave]

Renee Good. Say her name.

[lakemojave]

I don't care what her occupation was. I don't care whether she was a US citizen. I don't care whether she complied with ICE's demands or not. Even if she was an unemployed non citizen actively resisting arrest, no one should get away with brutally gunning her down in the street.

[kkelenca]

CBS’ article on her murder, for further reading

[formerlyluckymanticore]

Reblog if you will never. Ever. Use AI in your writing.

[chaos-ducks]

Absolutely never.

[dorkhellbside]

cats love sleeping on or next to you and slowly bake you like an oven roast chicken

[moniquill]

[cat-cosplay]

Here's to all the Certified Wrapping Paper Gremlins!

[yoohdontknowme]

need the asami to my korra like im so serious rn

[toastyglow]

I have a thing to get to but had to get this out real quick

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is what "your emotions are valid" means.

It doesn't mean that any random shit you do is fine so long as you're angry or sad. It means that the anger and sadness is fine, attacking the emotion is pointless, and it's your behaviour in response to it that can help or harm.

[toastyglow]

I have a thing to get to but had to get this out real quick

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This is what "your emotions are valid" means.

It doesn't mean that any random shit you do is fine so long as you're angry or sad. It means that the anger and sadness is fine, attacking the emotion is pointless, and it's your behaviour in response to it that can help or harm.

[whatifitookalilnap]

Mako, fed up: Korra, you talk about Asami constantly. You ditch Bolin and I to spend time with her, you turn into a blushing mess whenever she compliments you, and you know everything about her. You’re in love with Asami!

Korra, frowning: but you’re that way with Prince Wu and you’re not in love with him, right?

Mako: you know what? This feels like a great time to stop talking about this forever

Lin: no no, let her finish.

[leavesofpale]

It's gymnastics Acrobatic Put a smile on your face Work through the pain Listen to your coaches You are still out spoken "Suck it up" they say I want to learn So I do it their way And just as I start to succeed, They cut me from the team

Put a smile on your face Work through the pain