"we're adding another team to formula one" they said. "we'll have 22 cars on track" they said.
australia: 6 DNFs
china: 7 DNFs
japan: 2 DNFs
miami: 4 DNFs
canada: 6 DNFs
monaco: 6 DNFs and a truly hilarious amount of penalties
barcelona: 7 DNFs
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@lecrashes
"we're adding another team to formula one" they said. "we'll have 22 cars on track" they said.
australia: 6 DNFs
china: 7 DNFs
japan: 2 DNFs
miami: 4 DNFs
canada: 6 DNFs
monaco: 6 DNFs and a truly hilarious amount of penalties
barcelona: 7 DNFs
he runs this shit like a navy
tumblr is about tricking smart and funny and talented people into following me
not naming names but some of you are so creative and talented it's an honor to have you in my phone
love mymoots.. hug... even if we donftalk i love you.. even if you secretly hate me ilove you...
Pros: Wonderful friend. No comment, no nothing. All around, just a great person who has improved your life with their mere existence tremendously
Cons: You can only access them through the headache machine because they live 1 billion lightyears away
"Formula 1 is a prestigious sport surrounded by glamour": mate the 2026 grid consists of;
a man who has had his multiple attempts at murder televised
a coeliac who skateboards everywhere
you know when life is already hard and then a blond european cunt with a backstory walks in? one of those
a giggly astrology girlie who almost accepted an offer to get a "massage" in Amsterdam on camera
Amy Santiago if she grew up on a farm
a man who once got a tube stuck up his nose and gets called a Good Boy on the daily
a 4 foot tall turbocharged misogynist
Horse Jesus who is also the ultimate omega
Tuna Fish Junior
a man with a mullet and a porn stache who regularly poses in the nude
a twelve-year old werewolf but his wolf form is a pomeranian
the world's oldest rookie soon to have nerve damage
Car Autism whose vocabulary consists mostly of "Um"
a lanky noodle man who looks like he plays the oboe
an accidental lesbian icon and professional WAG
the after photo in those hair loss ads
a better-dressed kardashian with a pokemon obsession
a PR officer's worst nightmare who openly admitted to stealing a credit card in a conference
un perrito traumatizado
Chris Hemsworth but if he were a really, really chill German dude
a man who barks in bed but also at his older team mate
an active track hazard
and they all have daddy issues
Y'ALL GOTTA READ THIS YO IM TAGGING PEOPLE KJHKFKJHDHFD THIS IS TOO FUNNY @cirrusskylarr @kimistopmoaningontheradio @taryikk @oscarpiastri2026 @sunken-bentley @theannoyingspeedster @alittlechaotics-blog @l1terallykat EDIT : why does my reblog have 254 likes people what did y'all find so funny 🤨🤨 Anyways because of so many people asking - here's my guess at the answer key :
a man who has had his multiple attempts at murder televised -> Max Verstappen
a coeliac who skateboards everywhere -> Arvid Lindblad ( but coeliac could also be Charles )
you know when life is already hard and then a blond European cunt with a backstory walks in? one of those -> Liam Lawson's my guess
a giggly astrology girlie who almost accepted an offer to get a "massage" in Amsterdam on camera -> Lando Norris y'all
Amy Santiago if she grew up on a farm -> George ??? idk
a man who once got a tube stuck up his nose and gets called a Good Boy on the daily -> that has gotta be Oscar I can't think of anyone more Good boy
a 4 foot tall turbocharged misogynist -> Yuki Tsunoda 💀
Horse Jesus who is also the ultimate omega -> Lance Stroll
Tuna Fish Junior -> Eh I'm guessing Jack Doohan ( dad is Mike Doohan sooo )
a man with a mullet and a porn stache who regularly poses in the nude -> VALTTERI BOTTAS * imitates danny ric *
a twelve-year old werewolf but his wolf form is a pomeranian -> erm Ollie is that you ?
the world's oldest rookie soon to have nerve damage -> El Padre ( Fernando Alonso )
Car Autism whose vocabulary consists mostly of "Um" -> I have no idea , help me out on this
a lanky noodle man who looks like he plays the oboe -> My guy Esteban was done dirty I PROTEST
an accidental lesbian icon and professional WAG -> ehehe my beloved Alex Albon
the after photo in those hair loss ads -> best ever description of Carlos Sainz
a better-dressed kardashian with a pokemon obsession -> this HAS to be Lewis
a PR officer's worst nightmare who openly admitted to stealing a credit card in a conference -> KIMI PACETONELLI 🙌
un perrito traumatizado -> Franco Colapinto
Chris Hemsworth but if he were a really, really chill German dude -> Nico Huuulkenberg
a man who barks in bed but also at his older team mate -> okay Gabriel Bortoleto I see you 🫵
an active track hazard -> should be Lance ryt ?
The funniest thing about the "pray for Lando's PR team" discourse is that multiple drivers have had very carefully orchestrated PR plays over the past few days and barely anyone talked about any of them because people were still talking about Lando.
i hope you all think of me not just as your friend but as your mutual who likes your personal post like way too soon after you posted it
i care btw. i care abt the song ur listening to or the bug u saw or how u just got outta the shower or how ur happily hanging out w ur friends or how ur kinda sad or how good was the meal u just had or ur fav character from an indie game nobody knows or if u chugged down some water. i always will
I NEED TO WRITE FANFICTION <- guy who is perfectly capable of writing fanfiction <- guy who is not writing fanfiction
my favourite part of the f1 race is when williams decides well we're not winning anyway and starts doing whatever the fuck they want
can you imagine that the f1 news “shaking us to our core” is that they overturned that one WDC result in court or whatever
other options:
next regs they all have to refab the engine of a prius
fernando alonso is retiring
carlos sainz sr is taking alonso’s place
toto wolff has found a 5 year old for george russell’s seat, shocking labor advocates around the world
we will never race in europe again
starting in 2027 we will do 24 american street races get ready for IBM kitkat peloton KFC Accutane Toledo Grand Prix
hes so annoying help me
my ideas on what the breaking news is:
that marmot that alex hit in canada came back to life and has a seat for 2027 at vcarb
boycar took ozempic to try and cut the weight and now is being disqualified from the next three races for doping
inspired by the hype around artemis, efforts are being made to make an f1 car able to drive to the moon. the fia want to put their flag there.
inspired by the hype around heated rivalry, they've been auditioning duos from the grid to be the new gay it couple. the role has finally been cast. it's... yukierre?
alex albon is on the run. he blew up the williams racing headquarters
lewis hamilton is changing his main helmet design to a very slightly different shade of mustard yellow
they're announcing a new street circuit on a non-closed-off road in the middle of mumbai
MARMOT TO VCARB🙌🙌🙌
fuck it im announcing that merc 2027 is fernando and yuki. mclaren f1 team is being disolved. george and kimi are moving to cadillac. franco can do whatever he wants forever. christian horner to be flung into the sun. all cars must have cute bumper stickers. im outlawing all advertising.
lando with one of the young karting champions who handed out the plaques to the top three finishers 🤏
post sprint race | f1 silvo gp (04.07.26)