How I envision Jondami relationship (buckle up people, it's gonna be long. I do apologize in advanced):
-They grew up together (no weird age up shenanigans. This time Clark & Lois didn't allow their son to go).
-When Jon was around 13 he had a crush on Damian (who was 16, and by this time had a growth spurt and was taller [it won't last long]).
-Damian maybe sorta kinda suspected Jon's crush, but decided to ignore it because that's his friend and he didn't want to make it weird. They still went on to have many adventures and save people or animals or the environment.
-By the time Damian entered college (for whatever degree, you decide), they didn't interact as much anymore. Jon was in high school and started to explore his bisexuality and started being in relationships (with boys and girls).
-Damian was more reserved, he wasn't particularly interested in relationships (sorry, I tend to see Damian more as myself LOL). If he were to be in a relationship, it'd better be for long term, not just to "see if we fit each other, see if we're compatible". If anything, I HC Damian as demisexual.
-As Jon entered college, Damian was graduating and planning on going to grad school. Now this is where things get interesting.
-Now they were almost at the same phase of life again (college), and could actually hang out together more. They started to patrol together more too. And this is when Damian went, "Oh shit, this guy is actually great! He's so kind, and good, and patient with me. He understands me in a way no one else does. I may have feelings for him, dammit."
-Jon thought he was over his crush on Damian, but being with a grown up and mature Damian rekindled his feelings again (or maybe he never stopped loving Damian at all). And it wasn't a fleeting crush, it was a full blown admiration, respect, love, and protectiveness. By this time they had gone through a LOT. It was kinda difficult not to fall in love with someone as selfless as Damian.
-Jon confessed first. It was awkward. Jon suspected the feelings were mutual, but noooooo, Damian rejected him (I love angst, sorry). Jon was... around 22, Damian 25.
-In Damian's head, he felt unworthy of Jon's love and attention. He pictured in his head that Jon "should" marry someone "*normal", have a home, get a couple of kids, and a dog. And Damian would be happy just being the family friend. He vowed to protect Jon's spouse, children, and family. (*normal in Damian's head is someone with normal parents, no history of abuse or assassins, someone whose body is not littered with scars).
-If he were anyone but Jon, then maybe Damian might consider being with him. But this is JON. He's the embodiment of good, and kind, and can someone like Damian truly be with Jon?
-Damian discussed Jon's confession with Dick, and Dick said if Jon wasn't who he was, if he wasn't Superman's son, if he wasn't half-alien, if he wasn't a mischievous kid with crazy ideas, always enabling Damian's crazy plans - then Damian wouldn't have been interested in him in the first place. So it was kinda hypocritical of Damian to deny his feelings, because Dick knew if Jon were someone "normal", then Damian wouldn't have kidnapped him all those years ago.
-Then Damian called Jon to his rooftop/balcony. They talked for a while, and Damian just, gave in and kissed Jon. Jon was like, "Was that a goodbye kiss? Are you giving me a pity kiss?" And Damian replied, "No. I can give you more if you want..." As tempting as that was, Jon needed to clearly communicate, so Damian said it was 'will be you my boyfriend' kiss.
-And so they started a romantic relationship. It was relatively easy, because they've known each other for more than a decade now. But there were more issues, they 'broke up' for a while, then got back together. Jon especially needed to teach Damian to communicate ("you Bats have contingencies for almost everything right? So have contingencies for our relationship too. If something doesn't feel right, tell me, have multiple plans of actions to strengthen and save our relationship, ok? Don't immediately think of breakups when we hit a rough patch. It's not all in or all out.").
-Jon had parents who modeled what a good relationship looked like, so he was kinda more mature and patient. Jon talked to Lois a lot about their relationship, and she would impart wise advice to him.
-I don't know who proposed first, but they were engaged by the time Jon was 23 and Damian 26.
-Both their families loved them. I mean, Jon and Damian had been in each other's families for quite literally more than a decade.
-At their wedding dance, when Lois was dancing with Damian, she said, "You've always been mine too, you know that right?" And Damian was stunned to hear it. I mean, how could she not love the boy who ate breakfast at their table, slept under their roof, who eagerly helped with the farm animals when they visited Jon's grandparents. The boy whose body was covered in scars (Lois was horrified the first time she saw Damian's scars. Because as a mother she could not fathom having her own son experience that much pain). Surely a mother had to be accepting of such a boy.
-Everyone cried during their vows BTW. Dick cried. Clark and Lois cried (they were so PROUD of their boy). Bruce got misty-eyed, seeing his once-violent son now MARRIED. Those who knew how far back they've been together knew that they were witnessing history.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Biblically accurate jondami here! Somewhere in another universe this is canon.
I say we get you into the DC writing room immediately. We'll hold them hostage if we have to.
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