That One Guy, You Know Who

[cpericardium]

[hymnism]

[pigeons-and-pebbles]

@lemning00n

[lemning00n]

And I always think the video will be longer then it ends up

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

[headspace-hotel]

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

[headspace-hotel]

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

[agent-octopus]

Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something

[headspace-hotel]

there's art now

[jetlaggingbehind]

[questions-within-questions]

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

[normal-horoscopes]

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

[stargazing-enby]

This is my new favourite post in the world

[astronomical-bagel]

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

[centrally-unplanned]

So I am going through these notes on the CCP’s new guidelines around video game censorship and regulation, and it has some amazing stuff in it.

First and most importantly, Venti from Genshin is confirmed a femboy, who “you cannot tell is male unless you look at their lore” according to the CCP reviewers. Behold the face of gender-corruption!

(honestly, you can’t tell that he is male? Watch more anime normies or gtfo)

Anyway, first we gotta lay out our credentials:

Don’t be silly and think we don’t know games. Many experts here know more about games that you, developers

CCP confirmed True Gamers, get wrecked scrubs!

Anyway, what is great about these notes is, since the people in the CCP are not evil minions but real people, they actually aspire to make video games better. So in between all the rampant homophobia and history censorship, are some legitimate complaints. Our ideas include:

You cannot force players to spend money, and gate rewards behind lootboxes & other opaque mechanics

Totally valid, hell yes CCP

No misleading advertising baiting gay couples when they are not actually gay

Wokeness confirmed, fuck the queer-baiting

Wuxia style games are boring as they are so similar. Many companies ignore good storytelling and just bank on art design & aesthetics

They are right and they SHOULD say it, fucking savage.

But the *best* parts are where they just run into the weird shit that is just…part of gaming now, which with this new initiative you have to somehow regulate:

We forbid attractive character designs based on war criminals

Azur lane gets *specifically* called out, have waifus gone too far??

No ascending into god-hood; humans cannot beat a god

CCP confirmed *extremely* concerned that a plucky band of spike-haired protagonists will grind their way up the ranks and challenge Xi Jinping for the throne, its not possible everyone stop getting ideas!! Seriously they mention “no ascending-to-godhood” style plots like four times, this is priority number 1.

Lots of stuff in there that I didn’t cover, hopefully could be some fun highlights. I recommend checking it out, as I don’t imagine a major game around will be unaffected by this new initiative.

[tanadrin]

this honestly just reads like somebody with strong personal opinions about video games happened to work their way to just the right position of government to have influence on Official Video Games Policy, which because the CCP is obsessed with micromanaging the country’s culture is a thing that can conceivably exist in China, and was like, “no way in hell am I letting this opportunity go to waste.”

I mean who, if they could personally make their aesthetic preferences mandatory by law, would really be virtuous enough to pass up that opportunity?

[borderlands-disorder]

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[pseudowriter69]

prime with a twitch channel: *reading comments* "if you like pre-crisis and lighthearted stories so much why is your favorite bat Jason and not like Steph-" Okay listen. First of all, Jason and I are actually connected through the space time continuum, but you wouldn't get it. Second of all, I relate to him and also he's cool. *reads another comment* "doesn't he kill a bunch of peo-" Dude. It's comic books. If I have to deal with another person treating him like a real person I'll explode. With that being said I have actually met him and he's literally chill and mostly over it. Besides, all the people he's killed are like, NPCs. NPCs don't count, everyone knows that. God. Any OTHER questions?

[inkinverse]

so when Superboy Prime is super-railing Jason Todd, do you guys think he says “it’s prime time”

[tinybed]

[comealongphil]

dawn dimmadome? wife of doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome?

[punkrorschach]

actually she took the dimmadome in the dimmadivorce

[margotelizabee]

I find it funny how many people love primehood and makes jokes about primes 4th wall awareness but people don’t focus enough on the fact that Jason is super meta as well.

Like there is a panel where Jason talks about turning 53 (which would be his real world age given his 80s continuity). Like there are so many small bizarre instances of Jason alluding to his real world characterization and impacts but like done in almost the same way I would expect a seer or conduit might.

Bro basically does a soliloquy to the audience like in a Shakespeare play. Only he doesn’t know there is an audience.

I think it would be super funny if Jason said some meta shit unprompted and it throws Prime off.

Jason: me and Bruce don’t work. Like him admitting he’s wrong would break the universe and that can’t happen.

Prime (squinting his eyes): yeah.. something like that.

Or

Jason: I had a dream that none of this was real. That no matter what I do I don’t have any control. I’m not the one writing my own story. I’m just a character for others amusement.

Prime (doing a double take): the $@&!

Jason: It’s probably nothing.

Prime: it’s definitely something!

And possibly

Prime: that’s what you get for crawling out of your coffin.

Jason: I’m not sure if that’s what happened. It’s all so muddled anymore. Who’s to say what actually brought me back.

Prime (Turing to the reader) you seeing this chat?

And of course

Jason: I feel like people are always hoping my down fall. Like if you put my life in the peoples hands the would vote to kill me off.

Prime: ….

Prime: who the fuck told you!

Prime: do you know about the readers too?!

Jason:??

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[lemning00n]

Shots ?

[praguegirl]

they just don’t do any classic homophobic children moments like this anymore 

[coughloop]

There was really no winning that one

[lesbworth]

i feel like the tumblr perverts need to be aware of the forcefem novel written in 1901 by a trans woman patient of magnus hirschfeld, wherein:

a lesbian hypnotises her girly stepson into believing he is a woman

then she hypnotises his father her husband into shooting himself when he tries to stop her

then she proceeds to live as a man and convince her stepson that he is HER WIFE

AND THEN WHEN THE COUPLE WANT KIDS (AS SHE HYPNOTISED HIM TO) SHE HAS HIS CHILD AND CONVINCES HIM THAT HE GAVE BIRTH TO IT

AND DECIDES TO RAISE THE BABY AS A GIRL EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BORN MALE

AND THEN FINALLY ON HER DEATHBED CONFESSES EVERYTHING TO HER WIFE

WHO REFUSES TO BELIEVE ANY OF IT

the author's pen name is luz fraumann (yes she actually named herself "woman-man") and i wish i could tell her she's literally insane for this bestie and also how hard she would do numbers on tumblr dot com

(link to hirschfeld's profile of fraumann and extract from her novel, in german)

[ominous-signs]

Every time I pass by this sign Im intrigued by it, and worried for tim.

[pigeons-and-pebbles]

@the-broken-pen yalright tim?

[the-broken-pen]

No, I have worms again, didn’t you hear :(

[lemning00n]

Scrolling through the worms mentioned tag again and look who I found , sorry bout the tapeworm Tim , would take if one could

[aroacexuemeng]

not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here

[doggirlhen]

reblog heavy

[dragoncarrion]

Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this

[tortol]

picture i got at pride last week; here mexico

[ellie-insertsurnamehere]

This is very dumb but hey

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[isuggestrespecttranspeople]

This is genuinely dire huh