Claire

[willgrahamscock]

[theebbestboy]

[a-sentient-cup]

[virtualgirladvance]

[sausaged-rat]

[somelikeitpop]

happy Labor Day

[sadclowncentral]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her “is it okay if i ask your brother instead” and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going “no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel” happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[thelatecaptainpierce]

happy it's spring, sir!

[shutinthenutouse]

[pseudomantis]

we should start giving testosterone to ants

[feralsquirrel666-deactivated202]

uncles

[sapphling]

can you get in trouble for remembering a detail about someone

is it normal to notice details

pervert definition

how much is it normal to remember about someone

are you allowed to think about people when they're not talking to you +reddit

[awesomesthesia]

I am speed

[lionesshathor]

WITNESS ME

[lionesshathor]

I’d hold a cane or something out to the side and knock down everybody on the stairs.

[prince-luffy]

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.

[warrior-of-the-runes]

beautiful compilation from @orc-sign-language

[vinceaddams]

"Joined the great majority" is a good one that I practically never hear.

[threeunrelateddescriptors]

"Approaching room temperature" is a personal favorite from the medical field.

[trochaic-mutant-ninja-tetrameter]

🎶Joined the choir unseen! Fly collecting!🎵

[thewolfstrongdiary]

I hate in books when it’s like enemies to lovers and the person is like “he was so rude to me… gah I wish he wasn’t so stupid hot!!! I hate him!!!” It’s like when someone is mean to me their face instantly becomes ugly and their features haggard and they crumble into stone. Idk what the hell you guys are talking about

[sharpnelshell-deactivated201905]

Small town culture is knowing that there are Old Folks with strange nicknames but never knowing the stories behind them.

Of course, I made the mistake of asking why everyone calls this one guy Brickaday and it turns out that he worked at a brickyard for 40 years, stealing exactly one brick every day and making no particular efforts to conceal the theft. Nobody thought anything of it until years later he was discovered to have built three houses.

His boss is said to have shrugged and made some remarks about the importance of coming up with a plan and sticking to it.

I‘m trying to arrange my face into an appropriate approximation of silent bafflement and failing miserably.

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

i appreciate brickaday

[captainlordauditor]

chaotic good

[kaijuno]

My grandpa once told me he worked with a guy called Scrappy at General Motors back in the 50s. Every few days he would wheelbarrow out metal shavings and the foreman was convinced he was stealing things and hiding them in the scrap metal to get it out of the factory. But every time they’d go through the scrap they’d find nothing. He was stealing the wheelbarrows.

[bidonica]

One of my late grandfather’s friends was called Salami because he used to steal salami and cured meats so I’m seeing a pattern here

[indigobluerose]

Thieves Guild call signs

[parakeet]

Thought my gf cheated on me again so I messed around with her gay brother, but it turns out it really *was* just her cousin that she was spending time with, so now I’m kinda feeling guilty and confused

Is this how a priest in a confessional booth feels… ten hail marys

[parakeet]

[posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia]

I saw this post on the Wikipedia

[parakeet]

@posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia Explain

[posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia]

I was browsing the Wikipedia, and the post was there.

Wikipedians share memes, too, y'know?

[parakeet]

I forgot that Wikipedia has like a forum section (?) and thought you saw this in an article and was baffled at the thought. My bad carry on

[posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia]

I mean it is featured on this article

[rox-and-prose]

i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them

[rox-and-prose]

the english meanwhile seem to have developed some sort of phobia about them

[ralkana]

When we were discussing the surgery I'd need for my sleep apnea, the surgeon told me I'd never be able to speak French properly because the French R is a uvular sound and I'd no longer have a uvula.

... that's okay? I'm not French? I don't speak French? I've always thought it was the weirdest thing for him to say!

[rox-and-prose]

Huh. Didn't know you could have French surgically removed.

[rox-and-prose]

sorry i just cannot get this out of my head. Like, "oh you speak french? i hear there's an operation for that"

[miametropolis]

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

for a moment i lived in a beautiful world where doctor who didn’t exist and this was simply a seven-ate-nine joke too layered for me to understand

[catchymemes]

[7777777awawawa7777777]

“i must be faking this for attention” thinks the girl who isn’t even telling anyone about it

[wormliness]

please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)