ticci toby the type of guy to be an absolute sweetheart the second he warms up to you.
he definitely wouldn't be violent even the slightest bit if y'all were friends. wouldn't be obsessive and needy either. bro has bipolar but he's not a baby. dunno why people think he's either a complete dick or an obsessive bitchass 💔
he would be a really good friend imo too. caring and all that, would be respectful, but also there wouldn't be such a thing as "too much information". tobs could see you half naked and be casual about it.
would also give at least one hug a day or little touches such as holding hands when either of you is anxious, fixing your hair, clothes, small caresses.
also this mf knows way too much about disorders, he'd be helpful a lot for neurodivergent or mentally ill people
ola, the first actual post that I've ever written, I know it's not the best but read it anyway Ps: english isn't my first language sorry for mistakes.
The last drops of sanity a man- a boy- a kid - could ever have.
Not a singular day of peace or comfort, everyday was filled with a strange man in his house he no longer recognized as someone whose job was to parent, the missing person at the dinning table, the chaos of his mother trying to be a good wife to a drunk or maybe she was just trying to be the innocent pure thing that Tobias could never understand.
Fear and eerie quietness were the only things filling the fresh air that was oh so smoothly moving through the old house. Its been a few hours after the latest argument, the yelling beating up. Toby yet again had to throw himself under the violent hands of his father, so his beloved mother wouldnt get even the slightest bit of hurt. She was a pussy too honestly, letting a 17 year old child sacrifice for the sake of a parent thats supposed to protect. "Cops are doing a better job in protecting than my mother," as he used to say to himself. Now he just did it automatically, he didnt have the strenght to act like hes sorry if anything happened to her.
Tobias was stuck in his room, the window opened but the curtains remained closed. He wasnt stupid to keep them open at night time. Not anymore, not since he saw..... As the evening slowly descended into the night and the sounds of cars driving past calmed down, the boys thoughts got louder, almost unbearably so. He was trying to take his mind off of it, to focus on his recent studies. Homeschooled for over 4 years now, he had to learn everything on his own. Surprisingly, he was really good in languages and anything that had to do with humans or their body. Currently he was researching some history bullshit, even though he lost track of what was actually written on the screen, the bandaged fingers floating over a laptop that was so damaged you would guess it went through some horrible historical events on its own. But not a single word could be processed in that smart head. Scrolling upwards, he tried to read again. 5 minutes later, he was yet againg reading with his eyes only, not his mind.
Aggressively slamming the laptop shut, throwing it onto the bed, he got up, closing the window with a rush, putting on a hoodie and something warmer than the shorts that made him look like Adam Sandlers long lost son, he skipped the stairs downwards and sped out of the house. Tho he couldnt feel pain, he did let out a gentle shudder at the unexpected breeze. Hands shoved into the pockets of his brown jacket, he wandered through the comfortably empty streets of his little town. A forest was nearby of the gas station he planned to visit, like always, but maybe...not this late, "Nope", he thought and without yet another second passing by, he turned on his heel to the opposite direction. The park. Dark with like 2 lamps that functioned worse than the ones in school bathrooms. A fountain in the middle, few benches that were heavily anti-homeless, trees that surrounded the gentle-looking place and a swing that was facing the horizon. If you looked the right way, you could see mountains in the distance. He always daydreamed about running away there.
As he sat, swinging his legs back and forth , his tics filling the scenery as well as testing his patience apparently, it was getting close to midnight. No one was around now, he could finally let his thoughts go wild. Every single one, every little whisper that felt a little too real. He could spiral there without risking hurting anyone. Tobias was violently biting the skin of his inner cheek, the same cheek that was quite literally bandaged and had a hole in it, big enough to make few of his teeth visible. It was all so perfect now, a momen the could relive everyday if he wanted to. Letting loose was like a reward.
Except after a while it has gotten so bad, a tic attack resurfacing slowly. They happened much more often than he would like to admit. The constant stress, even if hes acting like a nonchalant ass, got to him, especially to his whole nervous system. The only thing you could hear now in the quiet streets were his vocal tics, swear words falling into the night...... the involuntary motor tics that made him feel like they would last forever, the cracks and spasms and twitches that kept reoccuring again and again and again until his body went limp and he actually couldnt move without fainting. This definitely didnt feel like a reward anymore.
As he tried to calm the jerks and all, he felt as if it didnt work. The panic set in, the tears threathened to spill over, the loneliness fucking him up even worse.
Breakdown later, he sat numbly on the swing, staring onto his shoes. Going home now would be dangerous, the way he could barely move his legs now, even if painless, made him scared. But again, if another attack came by, he wouldnt manage this one alone. "Neither" would be an amazing option right now, but he did have to get to safety now too.
After he got home, shoes off, jacket off, he didn't even bother to glare at the stair, walking straight into the living room and falling fast asleep on the couch.....if he only realized that this cycle would continue tomorrow again and he cannot run away forever. Perhaps the lighter on the coffee table will reveal a secret plan within Tobys dream this night.
Ive written this at 11pm with my eyes closing. But yea, i think this is remotely how at least a few of tobys days would go. The abuse, disorders and loneliness would slowly damage the poor child, not make him a shy waffle loving cunt with daddy issues and Tim Wright/Masky obsession.
My dumbahh is writing this on my tablet like a child but genuinely why do people think Masky and Ticci Toby (my favs) would be 🍇ists or like severe abusers and shit?? They're killers yes but please like they wouldn't be monsters or whatever cuz like yea 😔 it's wild what the creepypasta fandom can shamelessly let out of their mouths.
Also especially about Toby cuz there's people that SEXUALIZE??? Toby's tics. No bro he wouldn't have moans as tics, he wouldn't bite your neck due to tics, he wouldn't be unreasonably violent towards other people because of tics...like hello? That's just common sense I fear and it's so weird how people SEXUALIZE tourettes in general not just in this fandom :(
And don't let me get started on Tim. He's not a buff daddy, he wouldn't choke you with a sadistic grin, he wouldn't be some obsessive twat that's gonna force you to do stuff. He's genuinely a good guy stuck in a bad situation idfk ( I haven't finished marble hornets yet )
lowkey why do people think masky/ tim is a little maniac twink or smth that likes to skip on rainbows. bro that is a schizo grown man suffering from trauma and probably bipolar (??) with a smoking addiction, leave him be 💔
surprise for everyone, I'm writing about someone else than Toby cuz it would get repetitive after a while. so, new character it is, enjoy<3
ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 ദ്ദി(˵•̀ ᴗ -˵)
Looks like:
light blue eyes (in my imagination he still has eyelids let me be), dark dark straight hair that's sort of between the 2 pics, definitely still emo + chapped nails. his scars next to his lips are half healed, but very visible and actually painful sometimes
Disorders;
• not a lot is confirmed, I dont know if something even is, but I think it's very obvious he has ASPD (antisocial personality disorder).
• also considering burns, it probably fucked up his nervous system to some extent, such as not feeling extreme temperatures (or not getting bothered by them at least) and feeling less pain.
• AND this is my little insert but he definitely has ADHD. cannot tell me he doesnt. mixed but leaning towards hyperactive
His personality
• due to the bullying, he developed aggressively as a sort of a protection. you misunderstand him? gets defensive and aggressive. accuse him? will lose his shit. call him names, even if joking? prepare for a very nice beating.
• will be slightly less aggressive if you're friends. yes, he has friends. (Ben deffo, idk it just makes sense)
• can be really chilled out at times, but then again, he does suffer from psychosis sometimes too, or dissociation/derealization, so that might get him to tweak a bit.
• can help people when they struggle, but most of it is a play pretend, he's not very empathetic (especially not if he doesn't know you. towards his victims he's unfeeling.
• scary as shit sometimes. take that however you want
General headcanons
ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
pansexual, demi-aroace, cis
alternative looks wise, alternative with beliefs too. sure, he lacks empathy, but he doesn't and never will condone politics. anarchist.
loves loves emo / scene music, or metal
very smart, has dyscalculia tho. the things he's really smart in is definitely the human body, he knows MOST disorders, mental and physical, but sometimes you do have to remind him cuz he doesn't remember EVERYTHING, space things, and knows a lot... a lot about animals
mentally fucked, I mean, Jeff was depressed for a long time and probably still is at times
really good fashion opinions, dresses like Adam Sandler tho. baggy sweatpants and hoodies are his go to. bands shirts too, and man does he have a lot.
would also really like 'Sally face' and the soundtracks
his room (in the mansion) would look so cool, no joke
black and red color palette, he'd definitely have a "bunk" bed (??? in the pic idk 😓) with space underneath, probably with couch and tv. he wouldn't have bookshelves because he hates reading, but his CD's? whole shelf full of them.
has these warm/dark lights in his room. if you turned on the big light, he'd die (most pastas are like this, except for Eyeless Jack, bro is so used to big lights it hurts)
one of the pastas that would stay outside after missions for hours or days, then would oversleep or be lazy for a week, do 5 missions at once, and repeat.
his eating habits don't even stand a mention. he eats the crappiest shit unless someone actually makes him food
would definitely smoke
he'd be a cringe little emo, in my current interpretation he's like 16-17, so yeah, cringy.
casually brought a wolf into the mansion and trained him. his name is Sal (yes, Sal fisher was the inspo)
would enjoy running everyday. actually no joke. and I know damn well he'd force other folks to do it with him.
thats all!!
this is a little shorter but its all I could brainstorm, definitely will do actually depressing headcanons about him ദ്ദി˶˃ ᵕ ˂ )✧
i love writing for him, genuinely such a comfort character
˃ 𖥦 ˂
HEADCANONS:
i dare to say, I think he'd be one of the creepypastas/proxies that would stay out after missions for hours, wandering around the forest, lakes, abandoned tunnels, buildings. he'd find this strange comfort in quietness, especially after it gets dark. maybe then he'll even find a near town, walk around.
there's this park in a "corner" of the town's centre, with 2 swing sets. he goes there actively when something bad happens, such as a bad depressive episode or hypomania. calms him down, the movement, the rush of cold air in autumn/winter when swinging. sometimes he just sits there and stares at the night sky.
as much as people interpret the pastas being all happy go lucky, a big group of friends, its just not true. maybe they'd tolerate each other, but I think so many of them would be loners. and there comes my nother headcanon- Toby would be an extreme loner. he'd have maybe like one person in the whole mansion he'd like to be with. even that with breaks. he grew up lonely, I dont think becoming... whatever the fuck he became would change it much.
especially lowkey don't see why people, of all the creepypastas would see him and go "yeah he's definitely a slut" bro he'd full force knock your lights out if you touched him, even worse if you did it without a warning. and I also cant see him have sex like cmon 😓 but that's with 90% of other pastas too, they have trauma and are literal killers they wont fuck you 😓
also I have this little headcanon that he can never kill abused kids/teens. he'd just get ptsd flash backs, see himself in them. it would hurt him, definitely. he can kill anyone else, no remorse, young, teen, adult, just not the ones that went through hell and back.
once he was sent onto a mission to kill a child that lived in an abusive household and he came back with bloody lips, fingers, arms, absolutely dissociated, "reliving" the trauma while having like really bad tics- not an attack but still bad -and 5 minutes from a collapse. after that, not even slenderman could force him to do that again.
randomly overthinks the typical "what if... " what if he was normal? never had Bipolar, or Tourettes. what if he never killed his father? what if he never burned down his town, what if he never became a proxy. what if he never listened to the voices, the small urges, to the bullies. would he be "normal"? at least, well, normal in the not-killing-people way. tho these questions don't make him spiral as much as they used to. he realized that he cant go back and change it.
suffers from genuinely horrible nightmares. nobody knows what he dreams of tho, he never told anyone.
surprisingly, he can play on an acoustic guitar. not perfectly, cuz it got smashed once by his father and they he never got another one. but if he got the chance to play on one, it would definitely make his day
when he's in his room, which is rare, he spends most of his time on his bed that's right next to the window. mostly because yes, he needs fresh air, especially when he lights candles and has lots of diffusers (the good smelling shit), but it just calms him, even if he cant feel if the room is way too cold or not. he just has to have some reminder that he's not stuck in a 1x1cm box and that the outside exists and he can escape anytime.
hates feeling isolated. no matter if it's physically, mentally or verbally (not being able to say what he immediately thinks). another reason why he ended up all alone even in the mansion. he can be so insensitive, so mean, barking out every sort of an insult if he feels threatened. and it's mostly because he didn't have this freedom for 16/17 years.
he was once, ONCE in a sort of a "relationship" and he couldn't say anything because his partner was genuinely so "mentally unwell" that one bad word would cause God knows what. he hated it. that's why they broke up like 2 months later.
I think I mentioned this like 100 times but he's so linked to nature. bro's mood changes with the weather, seasons, temperatures (yes even if he can't feel them). animals don't fear him most of the time, not even bugs. he's also a big fan of nature sounds when he's outside. will not go out with headphones, ever.
little ramble before I go to sleep but I actually hate when people either draw Toby with alcohol/drunk or write about him drinking alcohol. MY GUYS his father caused him trauma because he was an alcoholic, and as much as I understand that sure, people can take on other peoples addictions especially when its in the family, I dont think bro would. 100% he'd despise someone if he even saw them drink a sip of alcohol.
before I get started with this thingie, it's probably gonna end up long, so please find the patience 🧡 I've had hyperfixation on this man since I was 8 and am a total nerd about him. also I do view him as a 17 year old boy so like-
enjoy 🧡
look-wise:
dark eyes, dark brown hair with slight curls and the haircut = tobs, I make him look similarly in my art:
definitely lots of freckles, scars from tics/previous bullying and beating from his father.
music:
loud music most of the time, quieter when having a depressive episode (bipolar disorder) or if he can feel a tic attack comin
by loud music I mean either scene/emo, numetal, punk or artists like RomancePlanet.
Get scared, PtV, Set it off, Falling in reverse, sex pistols are definitely the bands I cannot imagine Toby without.
considering his disorders:
I sure hope we all know that its confirmed (i think) that he has Bipolar disorder (imo mix of BP 1 and BP 2, leaning to BP 1 tho), Tourettes syndrome (tic disorder that can be diagnosed during young teen years after lasting for over a year, it's a mix of verbal and motor involuntary and repeated movements. sometimes these tics can graduate to a tic attack, which is a state where the tics worsen, can be more violent- lasts from few minutes to hours) and CIPA (congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis, rare disorder of the nervous system which prevents the feeling of pain or temperature [cant sweat and feel extreme temperatures], these signs of CIPA are present from infancy. )
I dont know if its also canon that he has schizophrenia, but Id rather say that most of his psychosis comes from bipolar disorder [manic episodes]
I love to talk about his disorders, theyre really interesting 🧡
i also think he has hypermobility, even if in the slightest. + I think that he still has body issues even if he cant feel pain. like his body will just give out, making him fall sometimes, faint, sleep for excessive bit of time.
personality and a bit of his life:
it was stated that he doesn't have a certain personality, very chaotic at best. but I do have my own little interpretation. Toby was a relatively calm baby and child, due to the fact that he really couldn't feel most shit and where he was raised it was very quiet at times. his mother and lyra were the one that raised him, his father either wasn't there physically, which was almost always, well and when he was, he was drunk and beat the living crap out of them all.
tho when Toby was like 10 or so, all of his disorders just kept worsening on him. tics got more unbearable, he developed a stress disorder of some kind at least, school was a shithole where he was mocked every second of his existence. (his bipolar definitely got diagnosed around 13 and his tics at like 10) that's why he dropped out if school and was home schooled. during these years, before the accident, he was the definition of a sarcastic dipshit, took stuff seriously only sometimes, was pretty much numb to other people's emotions except the ones he was emotionally connected to (mom and Lyra). after the accident, well, he was even worse, genuinely barked our sarcastic shit at everyone round him, got severely depressed, to the point of derealization and psychosis (linked to bipolar)
general headcanons, all smushed into one:
• not straight but doesn't label (most of the people he was interested in were men) , he/him pronouns
• he was definitely extremely smart. people interpret him as stupid due to his disabilities but he's very smart, both academically and in general.
• if we're talking about being smart, he was basically a doctor at that point. he knew most disorders, disabilities, illnesses. most of them he learned just for himself, but also to understand other people (the misunderstood not wanting to misunderstand others)
• bro could calm a person with a panic attack in less than 10-20 minutes
• he had shit ton of interests, took his mind to a different place. he could also draw well and was damn good in interior design? (dont even ask)
• his room, both at home and slender mansion were comfortable. big beds with duvets, many pillows, plushies, rugs, he had dim lights, and other shit. small rooms always but comfortable enough for when his disorders act up.
• deffo has 'safe people'. the only ones that can touch him, be with him when shit gets bad, talks to them everyday without breaks, just can be himself. other people are a big no and he wont show a single speck of his personality.
• loves supernatural/horror movies, stories, games, anything with ghosts, entities, killers, shit like that.
• really bad stutters, linked to tourettes id say. bro will stutter 10 times in 3 word sentence and look at you like it's your fault. dead in the eyes.
• manic laughter or the smallest giggle. nothin in between btw
• bro CAN be nice but won't until something is really bad/ unless he's in a very good mood
• no he does not like waffles. guys can we not. Id say his favorite food would be something salty/spicy actually. or fucking pizza 🥀. also he's lowkey picky with food. like sure he cant feel pain but bro will get personally offended if something tastes like shit.
• bro has immaculate style, fight with the wall.
• only half German but he knows the languages fluently, even has a small accent.
• oh and there are stimulants in his room btw. not only dim light, no no, he has candles, diffusers (is that how u call it?) fidget toys, and even some silly lights (night sky lamp, trust.)
• NERD. NERD NERD NERD. something caught his interest? he's in. deep.[sybau]
• loves animals. and big dogs.
• comfort game: Sally face, fight with the wall, relates to Sal to some extent
knows this song word for word and sings it everyday (for years on end)
thats all for now I think, will deffo write shit ton about him tho ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
also definitely suffers from loneliness if u get me
