The Truth About "Show Don't Tell" (and why everyone gets it wrong)
Everyone says "show don't tell" like it's the golden rule of writing but half the time people don't actually understand what it means.
Here's what it doesn't mean: it doesn't mean you can never tell us anything. It doesn't mean every single emotion needs to be described through physical actions. It doesn't mean your book needs to be 500 pages because you're describing every tiny detail instead of just saying what happened.
Showing is about making the reader experience something instead of just informing them about it. It's the difference between saying "Sarah was angry" and showing Sarah slamming her coffee cup down so hard the handle breaks off. One tells us the fact. The other makes us feel it.
But here's the thing nobody talks about: sometimes telling is better. Sometimes you need to just say "three weeks passed" instead of showing us every boring day. Sometimes you need to tell us a character is nervous instead of spending a paragraph on sweaty palms and racing heartbeats. Good writing knows when to show and when to tell.
Show the important moments. The confrontation. The confession. The moment everything changes. These are the scenes where your reader needs to be fully immersed in what's happening. They need to see it unfold in real time, feel what the character feels, notice the small details that matter.
Show when the details reveal character. If your character notices the broken tile in the bathroom during a funeral, that tells us something about how they process grief. If they focus on straightening the silverware while someone's yelling at them, that tells us something about their coping mechanisms.
Show when you want to create tension or emotion. Don't tell us the goodbye was heartbreaking. Show us the way someone's voice cracks on a specific word. Show us what they do with their hands because they don't know what to say.
Tell when you need to move the story forward. Transition scenes. Background information. Time passing. You don't need to show us the character's entire morning routine unless something significant happens during it.
Tell when the information itself matters more than the experience. If we just need to know that a character grew up poor or that they have a law degree, you can usually just tell us. We don't always need the full flashback.
Tell when showing would be repetitive or slow things down. If your character is anxious throughout the whole book, you don't need to describe their racing heart every single time. After you've shown it once or twice, you can just tell us they're anxious and we'll fill in the rest.
The real skill is knowing which moments deserve the reader's full attention and which ones are just setup for those moments. Your book should have a rhythm to it. Showing everything at the same level of detail is exhausting to read. Telling everything makes it flat and boring.
Mix them. Use them intentionally. And stop feeling guilty every time you use the word "felt" or "thought" in your manuscript.
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