Every Song on *NSYNC’s ‘Celebrity’ Ranked
Exactly 15 years (and 2 days) ago, *NSYNC’s 3rd and final album, Celebrity, was released. I remember going to Wal-Mart at midnight with my sister, driven by my Dad of course, and making fun of the girls who wore pajamas to purchase their newest LP. We were still wearing cute clothes from Deb. Seeing as how *NSYNC had a major impact on my life back then, still does, and in honor of the 15 year anniversary I decided to rank all 13 songs from Celebrity. It was definitely not easy, well some songs were easier than others to rank, and with Ardent Honey Ginger and Bold Rock IPA helping me out it became increasingly more difficult. Every song on this album is good, some better than others obviously, but it’s a predicament to rank them all. I also put on the *NSYNC PopOdyssey Tour DVD to help me find inspiration. Instead I got downstairs feelings for JC Chasez, but with that aside I was able to rank every song from best to worst. Here are my findings. Some *NSYNC fans will not like this, others will appreciate it, and others will wonder what else I could’ve been doing with my time. First, the worst.
13) Something Like You
I’m going to get massacred for this, but it is the worst song on the album. Why? It’s not ballad-y enough to be a good ballad, which essentially is all it’s trying to be. It’s not terrible, but skippable and oh so cheesy. It makes God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You seem like I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. Stevie Wonder playing the harmonica on it (Yes really, that’s a thing.) should help, but it puts it into a weird category. The general monotone feel of the entire song doesn’t really help elevate it to a belt your lungs out in your car ballad. Good for a listen every once in a while, but not the best.
12) Do Your Thing
This is where true *NSYNC fans are like, are you fucking crazy for ranking this above Something Like You. Justin wrote that with Robin Wiley (RIP) and fucking Stevie Wonder, etc… yeah I know. I KNOW, OK?! But Do Your Thing is essentially Celebrity’s version of Giddy Up, (an equally terrible song on their first album that they all ‘wrote’ together, please listen to it, it’s funny) and with that fact it makes me chuckle. Joey is kind of sort of rapping? I guess? (**Actually it’s J.Moss rapping, sorry for the mistake, and also thinking Joey did that “rap”) I honestly don’t know WHAT this song is supposed to be, and it’s also skippable. Most fans (99.9%) hate this song. It’s not great, but it’s funny. Ride it, ride it, ride it, ride it giddy up… oh wait sorry, Do your thing thing…
11) Celebrity
I had a really hard time ranking this song this low. I loved it performed live so much, but I had to go back and really listen to the original track on the album, and my consensus was… skippable. During the PopOdyssey show they had a great skit, and they sang so well, and on the album it just falls flat. It’s the second track on the album and I skip it almost every time. Very rarely do I give it a listen, despite being the title track for the album and it being penned by JT himself, it just plays much better live than on the album, and that’s what’s being ranked. You don’t want me to rank the live show. That will literally just be JC porn. Literally.
10) See Right Through You
This was a last minute swap. I had originally ranked it higher, but decided against that for other reasons I will describe later. I really enjoy this song. I remember listening to it for the first time and hearing “I’m about to get pissed off,” and thinking oh my god they cursed! They said pissed off! Ah, youth. It was so edgy at the time, and it’s a fun song. Another Timberlake written track, and not always skippable, but the album version isn’t entirely the most entertaining.
9) Girlfriend
I’m not biased here. I love, love Justin Timberlake, but *NSYNC Justin Timberlake is a whole different ball game. You got to understand this was JC’s thing, but with Justin taking the credit. Not always but you know, the forever entwined battle of greatness between JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake. You know what side you were on. I remember when this first came out I said, “I’m gonna get so sick of ‘Girlfriend’ it’s not even funny.” It was on my *NSYNC angelfire website, so you know it was legit. Another JT penned song, this time with The Neptunes. (Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo for those of you who don’t remember) I don’t mind this. Sometimes I want to listen to it, sometimes I don’t. I like the idea of them asking if I’d be their girlfriend, because obviously… When I was in high school I would sync up this video with the 504 Boyz “I Can Tell” and it worked PERFECTLY. Seriously try it, it is very entertaining and also why I switched this song’s rank at the last minute.
8) The Two Of Us
Don’t be afraid guys; we’re getting into JC territory now. I know it’s rare and it can be scary at first, but here we are. I love this song. It’s everything a solid pop song should be. Cute, fluffy, and you just want to dance like a white girl when you hear it. The unfortunate thing about it? The dance they performed with it live. It’s gay. I know that’s offensive and you shouldn’t say that and all the things that make the kids mad on facebook these days. I also know I’m supposed to be judging just the songs on the album and the live performances should have no influence on this list, but you guys, the dance they did with it was just that gay. Seriously. I can’t. Just watch it when they say “the two of us,” you will agree and want to erase it from your memory.
7) Gone
Oh, Gone. The most Justin Timberlake-y *NSYNC song ever. He literally performed this on his solo tours for years, because let’s be real, despite all the jokes of *NSYNC being back-up for JT that song did just that. *NSYNC was back-up for JT. However, when it comes on, you belt that mother fucker out in your car like your life depends on it. Whoever wrote this song you may ask? You see they call him Lake… Timber, Timberlake. *Beat Box sounds* (JT beat boxes.) I can’t lie though, this song is good, and unless you’re not in a ballad mood, this song is always worth a listen.
6) Selfish
Here we go. The JC ballad, and I try not to be biased, but pop music/ballad-wise this is solid as fuck. JC even lets Justin sing on it! He can share! (FACT: JC had more solo songs in *NSYNC than Justin. ‘Sailing’ ‘For the Girl Who Has Everything’ AND the recently unreleased *NSYNC songs were all JC vocals for the demos. FACT.) Anyway, Selfish has what Something Like You so desperately lacked and that was a giant vocal moment, (SLY had one for one second but that so does not count in boy band ballad standards.) as did Gone (at least from JC.) Too many sidebars. This is a lovely song, and you can call it unperfect, but who’s perfect?
5) Tell Me, Tell Me… Baby
I think the beginning is cheesy, but it is so boy band, and so *NSYNC, and so relevant of that time. It’s electronic, and fun, and yes, because yes. Not written by Justin or JC, (like the others wrote anything, okay maybe once each) Tell Me really flows well with the whole vibe and sound the album as a whole is going for. I always listen to it when it comes on, and never regret the bad snapchat after.
4) Up Against The Wall
Remember 2-Step? Yeah, me neither. The idea was, oh 2-Step is big in the electronic UK garage scene, so let’s do that type of music and it will be super popular. Yeah, that never really happened, not even in the UK where it originated. Not to say other electronic music didn’t originate from 2-Step, but this song was trying to have that sound, but it fucking worked. It was before its time. When you listen to some music today, Up Against the Wall already had that sound in July 2001. It’s jazzy, electronic, and written by JC AND Justin. What more could you want? The best of both worlds.
3) Just Don’t Tell Me That
JC and Justin really dominated the song writing game on this album, but not this one. Doesn’t matter, because it’s powerful and perfect. This whole album really had a theme of “I ain’t bein’ no one’s sugar daddy”, and this song encapsulates that phrase. It’s short and sweet, and just fun and always worth a listen.
2) Pop
This. Song. Rocks. Yes, I did rank it second, but it is so good. The first band to have an hour long ‘Making the Video’ on MTV, remember those were only a half hour, because so much tomfoolery was had. Joey Fatone had an accident during tour rehearsals, which messed up his leg, (chronicled on the Making the Video) which caused them to ‘replace’ him with choreographer Wade Robson during the dance scenes. They literally painted a goatee on him. Joey sat in for the close-ups though, but when you watch the video you can obviously tell the vigorous dance work is not done by the Fat-One. Justin was a happy, young 20-something enjoying his life, and they all loved each other and made an amazing video. The song forever encompasses me to dance and sing along. I suggest you do too.
1) The Game Is Over
The third track on Celebrity, most non-*NSYNC fans are like, what the hey? Written by JC (Yes, I like JC I’m aware.) this song is catchy. When it came out the song was different, fresh, one of a kind, and a party song. This was the song you danced to the hardest. If there were a pop song that was like a metal song, but not, this would be that song. The Game Is Over is the best song on the album. It embodies everything that album stood for. You can watch the live performance below.
So, there you have it. Every song on Celebrity ranked, and it was not easy. There was a lot of beer and cider, some downstairs feelings, and all sorts of self-induced karaoke. Happy 15th Anniversary Celebrity! Be still our *NSYNC fan beating hearts.