Elevate & Meditate

this is where I vent and share my inner thoughts

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“Yall wanna take what I got but yall don’t got what it take” - Tyler, the Creator

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this is my third world not my first one hun i got bigger problems to deal with ;*

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“I’ll beat your ass if you jump on my couch”-Kendrick

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im too fucked up to be friendly

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“You didn’t make good choices, you had good choices” -Mia Warren (Little Fires Everywhere)

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Imagine running a marathon and when you get off the track for a quick break and take a hit from your “inhaler” that helps you breath a little easier..you have someone who is rooting for another person come over and interrogate you on what you just put back in your pocket instead of letting you get back to the race. So you’re getting physically & mentally held back by someone who is asking why you are not running as fast as or with the others when they are literally the reason and cause of that. Imagine how crazy that makes you and just how hindering that is if you compare it to living life

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Okay as much as I love talking about my life. I’m gonna finish working on MONSTERA GOLDREEF!! Now I understand why ppl call a project “their baby” cause ya know you just want it to be perfect. Exactly what you envision in your mind. Bringing your thoughts/imagination to life. It’s really amazing how my creative juices have been flowing. I’ve always thought about being a fashion designer as well as many other things! But yeah I always put fashion and design in a smaller box when it could really be anything. Not just runways (oh pls🙄) no hate tho , just popularity on an Americanized basis so it’s just not appealing in my eyes cause it’s ALL HYPE CLEARLY! like how football players make MILLIONS and were all about it. Can’t lie I participate but at least I’m aware of how crazy it is in a bigger picture sense. Making more than ppl who can literally save someone’s life in a 30hour surgery. And with more free time. Just madness but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. So yeah even though I’m gonna need to pack up all my inventory/supply YET AGAIN. I took some things back out so I can take pictures of my newest ideas and just design them digitally (my slow ass) and not by hand lol. Either way all my designs are so awesome and I really hope they all sell out quick. And they’re all gonna be one of a kind theme pack so they just feel more exclusive and like no one else has it but them. Especially with rolling trays not being a huge design fad on the market. And ERRBODY smokes weed. If Bubba smoke weed than EVERYONE SMOKES WEEED. I know he needs that army rolling tray to make him feel special in his little BRONCO. But yeah I’m super but lemme get back to work and not get ahead of myself!!!! SOOO EXCITEDD TO FINALLY BE DOING WHAT I LOVE!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!

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I’m all set with setting up some sort of studio for my website but right now I’m still living with my family and we are of course MOVING AGAIN!! and what makes it better is I have no clue where we are going so I can’t even make plans around the move. So I’m just focusing on my brand and building it! I told my friend James about my website and what he thought about it and he was giving all these fast forward suggestions so I QUICKLY learned to just hustle in secret and then everyone will see the final product (nah-vah-swin-Lah) ***tikitok***goldenbalance***😏

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My website aka my brand name MONSTERA GOLDREEF is coming together swimmingly. I almost forgot to create a blog for it which is why I’m on tumblr right now instead of being on BAZAART 10/10 & SHOPIFY! Literally did not know how easy it was to put together a website. The world is really evolving technology wise not intelligent wise. Shoutout to the computer ‘geeks’ out there that make this world an easier place. AND FASTER! But yeah I’m so ready to finally LAUNCH all my product designs! I’m so proud of all my ideas but I’m a little overwhelmed because I want them all to come out perfect and I wanna rush to get them all out so I can have them all out during winter season when everyone is all cooped up in the house with the heat on. Around the holiday season when everyone is buying gifts or suggesting gifts for themselves lol! So I need to be quick with the PROMOS and website descriptions and of course PRODUCTS!!

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STARTING TO LOVE LIFE AGAIN!!! So embarrassed I even made this diary blog but feelings are feelings. Finally putting in work on my website and actually LOVINGG IT! Haven’t worked an actual customer service job in MONTHS!! Just collecting unemployment and making mistakes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I currently have no bills and NO CONSTANT STRESS besides my mother adding some on, understandably. But YEAHH finally getting back to myself again!! LITERALLY FORGOT HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO JUST BE FREE AGAIN!!!

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Haven’t been on tumblr for a good portion of this pandemic and I think that’s why i’ve been lowkey losing it. Also cause I’ve been way too sober

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Church is just a spiritual rehab. Our relationship with God needs to be one on one and built daily

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I've been doing a lot of deep thinking during this quarantine and i think that when we die the world gets flipped upside down and space is really just the ocean. So the sky is really just the shallow end and it goes waaaaay deeper and everything in space is moving in a current. We become the stars in the sky

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Nahhh these insects are getting BIG this isn't funny anymore especially with summer coming up

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I just realized that i've been sucking it up my whole life. Thats why i love smoothies.

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There is more than one type of love. Theres easy love and then theres tough love. Everyone learns love a different way so you gotta know how and when to apply love to people

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I'm working on getting all these negative thoughts and habits GONE for good. I dont have time for any of that. Anything that drags me down is gonna get cut off with no mercy