I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices
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@lexiconne
I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices
you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to
living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie thatâs been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this
I get in theory why people complain about het ships or whatever, I get wanting to watch queer media I really do, but I guess where yâall lose me is like. I saw some asshole on a post about Sinners complaining it was âhetslopââthis person was specifically doing so while also claiming Remmick was a queer character and thus they were justified in caring more about him than the Black protagonists. which is a whole other disgusting can of worms that has been well addressed by others at this point. but even in the absence of that part of the argument, like, no, i actually donât think that a hunger for queer stories is an especially good excuse to deride and dismiss a piece of landmark Black filmmaking, especially as a non-Black person. I have a post thatâs been going around encouraging folks to engage with more Native stories and characters, and I had someone come onto that post saying in the tags that theyâd need these stories to be queer in order to care. and I just think that, you know, sucks! like obviously as a queer Native I also want to see more of those stories too. but idk how else to put it other than to say that Black people and people of color shouldnât have to be like you in order for you to care about our narratives and experiences. and I think some of yâall are using this disdain for heterosexuality as a cover for your unexamined racial biases. itâs not okay to be racist to people just because those people happen to be straight, and you continue to be white before you are queer.
on an even more basic level than that, also, I simply just think some of yâall NEED to learn how to interact with media and storytelling without ships and fandom in mind. like if not being able to write fic about two men kissing is genuinely going to be a dealbreaker for you I think thatâs actually something you need to work on within yourself because at that point I think youâre no longer really interacting with art and themes and narrative so much as just kind of playing with toys. which is, like, fine I guess. have fun. but it wouldnât kill you to disengage from that from time to time. especially if would allow you to actually appreciate rich and deeply moving cultural stories from communities of color that you desperately need to learn how to see as human
i love queerplatonic relationships where one of them is aroace and the other isn't. i love when the allo character has a crush that fades over time. i love when they don't care what they are to each other as long as they're together. i love when romance is an option that they don't choose. i love when both aros and allos feel fulfilled without romance or sex.
proposing a new genre of fiction called an anti-romance where u r presented w a couple at the start & the story is about their emotional journey towards a catastrophic break up
will they won't they (end this farce). there's only one bed (but for some reason they don't really want to share it). out of context eavesdropping (that paints the relationship in a better light than it deserves). chasing after them to stop them getting on that plane (and stopping them from finally being free)
nobody understands my vision i don't mean any old story where a relationship fails and it's tragic or w/e i mean a story where the intention is for the audience to root for it failing the same way u root for it succeeding in a romance. & when the relationship finally implodes at the climax of the story it's all very cathartic & everybody cheers.
like have u never wanted a fictional couple to break up so badly it hurt?
my petty gripe about anachronism in historical/fantasy/spec-fic worlds is attraction language.
Weâve all heard the âshould you use modern queer labels or notâ argument but honestly even when people go âtrue, they wouldnât use the labels âaromanticâ or âasexual,ââ so often the characters describe their experiences as âI never felt romantic attractionâ or âI donât feel attracted to anyoneâ in ways that makes me go. You are stilllllll thinking about this in an extraordinarily modern online way. That 19th century steampunk detective man will NOT be angsting about having never felt romantic attraction, he would be angsting about being unable to feel moved by the beauty or charm of a woman, or something. And I do think that âattractivenessâ language is different from the identity-level idea of experiencing attractionâSherlock Holmes does not talk about not experiencing attraction, but when Watson says âWhat a very attractive woman!â Holmes responds âIs she? I did not observe.â (And then Watson calls him an inhuman automaton and calculating-machine and Holmes calls Watsonâs judgement biased). Never swayed by the attractiveness of a man or woman, never desirous of marriage, never charmed by the delights of love, all of these feel like some of the variety of ways that someone in this milieu might describe an ace- or aro-spectrum identity more than ânever felt attractionâ does. Mostly because, like the terms for aromantic and asexual themselves, nailing down an exclusively attraction-based definition of a-spec identities is a relatively new and extremely post-AVEN thing. And yet in fiction everybody knows to articulate their experience as feeling sexual/romantic attraction. And I always want to go nooo how would THIS character think about it?? Not how you think this character SHOULD think about it, how would THIS person in THIS context articulate their feelings?
people will say âtheyâre only friendsâ and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each otherâs coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each otherâs houses as ghosts. be serious.
Just an FYIâthe original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. đ«¶đŒ
Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.
also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.
the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form
I would actually go as far as to say that MOST abuse is unintentional. I think most people will go through their lives without ever experiencing intentional abuse. People are abusive because they're selfish, because they're stressed, because they care more about what society thinks they should do than the impacts of their actions on their children and partners, because they think what they're doing is correct, because they've made it make sense in their own heads, because they think they can fix their victims, they think they can fix their relationships, they think they can stop you from leaving, they think they can make you a better partner to them, they think that means you need to do what they want. We've sort of constructed mental illness in a way that doing this shit to other people counts as a form of mental illness because it is anti social behavior in the literal senseâ it is behavior that causes social harm.
I don't say any of this to excuse it. I think everyone needs to be more aware of this because if you think abuse has to be intentional you will never realize you are capable of abusive behavior. You will never realize you are being shitty to the people you love, because YOU know what you mean, YOU know you don't mean any harm. But you're doing harm. You need to pay attention to the impact you have on other people, and you need to do it all the time, Especially when you feel least capable of doing so. Sorry! You live in a society. Get your head out of your ass.
To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.
Sorry you almost had to entertain the idea that people like me exist, I'm sure that was very painful for you.
the way fandoms are desperate to make all aroace characters romance and sex positive but then dont do anything remotely similar to any other identity is astounding. hmm i wonder why
PLEASE dont derail this about shipping characters of other identities please let this one post be about an aroace struggle
"aroace people can date and have sex!!" yeah and until allo people can get it through their heads that there are in fact aroace people who will NEVER want to do either (and can be okay with this fact and not try to forcefully make aroace people and characters be basically allo with an aro/ace label slapped on) then we are taking that phrase away from them until they learn
writing is a fantastic hobby but the kicker is it's a lot harder to show your friends as it's progressing. with a sketch i can show someone and they'll be like oh that's an apple. you can't do that with words until you get a lot of them down. so i'll just be like damn fuckin. uhh. check this out
that's right. and that's just one of the several words i know
important that you never forgive ice agents, ever. even years after all this is over (and I do believe we will make it out on the other side, alive and for the better,) they live in shame and disgrace forever. no excuses, no forgiveness. they ruined their own lives when they decided that human freedom and liberty was an acceptable sacrifice for a paycheck
"girl dinner" "boy kibble" can y'all just eat a meal gender neutrally
gender neutrients
okay jokes aside the whole point is that there's no need for these terms whatsoever. y'all need to recognize the way gender essentialism pervades society at a seemingly small level and start unlearning it. you do not need to label the way you eat in accordance with your gender, you are just a person who needs sustenance to be and feel alive.