RAPPED since birth
CPTSD and late diagnosing autistic and I barely made it. I'm not there yet fully. I still can't grasp how bad people can be. I can't believe everything that's happened to me and how I still managed to not die yet. I been close so many times. I don't see a world I can go back to. How it hurts more everyday from looking back how I was pretending to survive, and how over and over again my cries for help were misinterpreted and not recognized. Lots of malpractice, lots of abuse, lots of sexual trauma from the get go, as a child a painful circumcision and infection, antibiotics and shots I was dangerously constipated and was hurt with a spoon. I didn't know it but I was broken from then on and I took on all suffering as my own responsibility. I was reinjured again in college when I was revenged rapped by my roommate and teammate Chase Robinson when black out drunk after I slept with his girlfriend. I slept with her because we shared an intimate moment where we both felt very trapped by our current partners, hers being Chase. Chase faking being my friend for years and actually hated me very much since the beginning. He worked very hard to destroy me. I was having a meltdown, my house was a run down college frat party, I remember reaching and asking my teammate and friend at the time Jake saying please help me with something in my room, and Chase turns ands started screaming, "he's got a knife! He's trying to kill him!" and said I was trying to hurt him, everyone was literally so shocked! including myself!! I did have a pocket knife in my hand but with ZERO intentions of hurting anyone with the tool. As I started trying to calm and explained to Jake the incident, Chase continued screaming, shouting and lying and I had to stop telling Jake I'm sorry and its okay, to yell at him to stop and to leave my house, I then yelled at everyone to leave. I had no sense of safety or friends and was extremely confused and only took to self harm from that point on realizing a simple misinterpretation can ruin any social life, destroy any chance of higher education, destroy your confidence, your friends, and it will take you years to realize what even happend...




















