false prophet

iz -- they/he if you care about that sort of nerd stuff

[dbzyuri]

[meetmeinthesandbox]

[hagenlastkiss]

Talking Heads by Robert Mapplethorpe - 1985 publicity photo. L-R; David Byrne, Tina Weymouth, Chris Frantz, and Jerry Harrison

📷 Robert Mapplethorpe/Sire Records

[colorful-horses]

princess

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[sephirothhh]

 It has nothing to do with Satan, Mama. It's me.

Carrie (1976) dir. Brian De Palma

[lightupgoldfish]

picrew i made when i was 16 in 2021 vs picrew i made just now. btw

[pnglesbian]

x

[feastofsnakes]

nobody "gets hard" you are doing all that for attention

[znj]

[randomclownsheep]

Equestrian's first cutie mark

[iamdangerace]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[cruzfucker]

[bunniope]

we transmitted the entirety of allrecipes.com into the brain of a dog and now he's an okay chef. like the food is passable

[bunniope]

like i guess i should've tempered my expectations a bit because 1. he's a dog and 2. allrecipes has some truly vile recipes on it but like. all of it. the whole website. idk i just expected more

[bunniope]

well you see the dog has the entire website in his brain so he kind of just has the good ones And the bad ones and since he's a dog he also doesn't really know the difference. so maybe you should consider all of that the next time you rudely insult my dog who is an average quality chef

[mr-e-gallery]

Robert Mapplethorpe

[noxcordis]

Robert’s hands by Patti Smith (1970)

[irtepagan]

bondage polaroids (1974) by robert mapplethorpe

[ladylingua]

the new york times has such a great series of elevated butter noodles, if you ever want a super fast easy dinner that still feels grown up and you can emulsify pasta water + butter together basically the sky is your limit

ya got

gochujang butter noodles

peanut butter noodles

chili crisp fettuccine alfredo

miso butter noodles

any one of these + a bag of salad or whatever vegetable side you find easiest/cheapest, and you've got yourself a full meal that tastes far above the effort you put in.