self-compassion: an antidote to shame mb

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Peter Solarz
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@likeagoldenswan
self-compassion: an antidote to shame mb
A lot of criticism of delivery apps focuses on the fact that they offer convenience and variety, which I find much less compelling than criticizing the fact that the apps often send their contractors on fetch quests from Hell.
There are real labor problems here. Base pay is often insulting. Customer tips carry too much of the burden. Workers need better protections, more transparent algorithms, protection from arbitrary deactivation, and actual recourse when the app or a customer screws them over. Car-dependent delivery is also an environmental and infrastructural problem, though in a denser city I’d still be doing this work; I’d just be doing it by bike.
But when people talk about delivery work, I rarely see them talk to actual delivery workers. I see a lot of abstract arguments about convenience, consumer decadence, “hustle culture,” and internalized neoliberalism. Meanwhile, when I’m out working and waiting in restaurants for orders, the other Dashers I meet are usually people who only speak Spanish, people who read as neurodivergent, visibly physically disabled people, or some combination of the above.
I have not met this mythical Disco Elysium poor ultraliberal hustlegrinder-wannabe people seem to be arguing with. Maybe that archetype exists somewhere. If it exists among any kind of gig worker, it would probably be rideshare drivers. But most of what I see looks less like “rise and grind” and more like “this is one of the few forms of work available to people who need flexibility, low barriers to entry, limited managerial surveillance, or a way to work around language barriers, disability, burnout, chronic illnesses and injuries with symptoms that come and go unpredictably, caregiving, résumé gaps, or discrimination.”
That does not make the current system good. It means the current system is filling a real gap that a lot of supposedly better systems do not even acknowledge.
As a disabled person who is burnout-prone and demand-sensitive, contracting as a delivery driver has given me an unprecedented level of financial flexibility. I can work when I have capacity. I can stop when I’m deteriorating. I can build my day around my actual body instead of being trapped under a manager who thinks “reliable” means “able to perform the same way every day no matter what.” That matters. It does not cancel out the exploitation, but it is also not fake just because it is politically inconvenient.
And delivery itself is not some inherently decadent evil. Sometimes people live alone. Sometimes they are sick. Sometimes they are disabled, exhausted, overwhelmed, grieving, overloaded, or recovering from something else - perhaps the stress and fatigue induced by their own job. Sometimes they need medicine, groceries, or a meal that will actually unplug their sinuses instead of whatever generic community-care slop someone thinks they should be grateful for. Humans are allowed to need specificity. “Food” is not the same as “the food I can actually eat right now.”
A serious labor critique would ask how to make delivery work safer, better-paid, less tip-dependent, less car-dependent, less algorithmically punitive, and less precarious. It would ask what kinds of flexible, accessible work should exist for people who cannot thrive in conventional employment. It would ask how cities could support bike delivery, worker cooperatives, public infrastructure, and real protections without simply replacing one bad system with a moral sermon about how nobody should ever want takeout.
But a lot of the discourse does not do that. It treats convenience itself as suspicious. It treats wanting flexible work as false consciousness. It treats the needs of disabled people, immigrants, and other people who can't fit into traditional employment structures as details to be swept aside in favor of a cleaner political image.
I guess the opinions of delivery workers only count when they are politically convenient.
this is fucking killing me bro. weird little plastic figurine of two guys frotting on a couch moments before gay disaster, the merch everyone is asking for, happy pride
The thing that’s always missing from the “women didn’t fight for the right to work they were already working they fought to get paid” is that many women also very much wanted to work.
Women wanted to be lawyers and engineers and chemists. They wanted to use their brains in challenging and interesting ways. They wanted to get the satisfaction from solving problems and inventing new shit and getting attention for it.
I know not everyone is born with intellectual curiosity or drive or determination but some people are and many of those people are women.
Literally.
New 'Bootcamp' boyband.
According to sources a new boyband has been formed at Bootcamp with 5 solo contestants thought to be more promising as a group.
The boyband made up of auditionees: Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik
(Liam being one of this years re-auditonee’s) The boyband are yet unamed.
Previous groups formed at Bootcamp have usually been doomed from the start and although usually making it through to the live shows don’t go much further. Futureproof, Hope and Miss Frank to name the most well known,
did anything happen with this
i heard they got involved with human trafficking?
sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.
I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?
and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.
cops r Some Guy with a Gun
do we want Some Guy with a Gun in this situation? answer is usually "NO"
This is legitimately useful reframing. A while ago I started replacing the word "cop" in my vocabulary with "a man with a gun." It really puts things into perspective.
This homeless person is making me uncomfortable. Should I call [a man with a gun]?
My neighbor is having a loud party. Should I get [a man with a gun] involved?
There are some teenagers skateboarding. Do you think [a man with a gun] would get rid of them for me?
It makes it very clear what you're saying. I can call a man with a gun to threaten or hurt someone mildly inconveniencing me. You're not calling the cops, you're calling A MAN WITH A GUN into a situation that does not warrant a firearm handled by a volatile lunatic who will not be held accountable for his actions.
^ ^ ^
adding to the pile of little colorful dragons i've been drawing lately
(also available on my kofi as adoptables!)
i am well aware of the absolutely fucked up things eating disorders do to people’s brains, and i am sympathetic, but I still think acknowledging publicly that these celebrities are promoting looking emaciated on death’s door is important. Can you imagine being 13 and seeing this shit? Every celebrity event looks like a thinspo board, it’s awful.
People talk about women's bodies far too much; this is true. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be addressing the elephant in the room of insane weight loss and eds. it isnt fucking normal or healthy
i understand that it's unreasonable to expect a band on world tour to play in every country in the world but i do think they should only be allowed to call it a world tour if they play in every continent. we need to make it embarrassing to say world tour and then not even step foot in africa
Have a medieval fantasy au brewing in my beautiful mind that culminates in Shane throwing himself in front of the sword to stop Ilya from being beheaded and it’s so buzzy to meeeee. Ilya is a banished prince who’s being tracked down by his brother sent to kill him by their father. Ilya is hiding out undercover as part of prince Shane’s personal guard. Ilya is there to kill Shane to regain his father’s favor (basically a zuko and the avatar thing where it’s an impossible task Ilya will most certainly die trying to do if his brother doesn’t find him firs) but he sees shane for the first time and thinks that’s the face they write love songs about. That’s the face that inspires poets everywhere. That’s the face that artists spend their lives trying to replicate the beauty of. he knows immediately he could never kill Shane. and Shane for his part is so enchanted by Ilya. Ilya who teases him and jokes with him. Ilya who pushes him to be better, because he tells Shane all the time he’s the best of them all and Shane wants to earn that praise. The fantasy comes in mostly with Shane having repeated visions of Ilya’s impending death that he keeps trying to convince everyone around him is coming, please, help, because he knows it’s coming. and everyone is like. Shaneeee it’s just dreamssss it’s so normal. And besides it’s literally his job to die for you lol? Calm down. You’re crazy. Except for Ilya who is very aware that’s Shane’s dreams are visions because he’s getting too many facts right— but still is trying to convince Shane not to worry about it (he has accepted his death since he laid eyes on Shane)
i’ve warmed up significantly towards the concept of small talk ever since i learned that its sole purpose is to make friendly noises.
as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”
small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.
i am motivated by wanting the other person to know i am friendly, so i have gotten pretty decent at small talk when i used to hate it.
People love natives in such a superficial way. People wanna stand with natives when we’re talking about the trees, and the land. People wanna stand with natives when we talk about philosophies of love and togetherness. But as soon as it’s time to talk about political side of being native. About dismantling a system built on the genocide of our people. About how we need a new system that isn’t built upon capital gain and benefitting white bodies. About putting up a fight. About how the colonial state we reside in is a disgusting imperial plague on this land. Suddenly y’all don’t wanna talk native.
"They spent hundreds of years trying to assimilate my ancestors, trying to create indians like me, who could blend in, but now they don’t want me either. They can’t make up their minds.
They want buckskin and face paint, drumming, songs in languages they can’t understand recorded for them but with English subtitles, of course. They want educated, well spoken, but not too smart. Christian, well behaved, never question. They want to learn the history of the people, but not the ones that are here now, waving signs in their faces, asking them for clean drinking water, asking them why their women are going missing, asking them why their land is being ruined.
They want fantastical stories of Indians that used to roam this land. They want my culture behind glass in a museum.
But they don’t want me." -Shelby Lisk
Overcompensation
You Have More Power Than You Think You Do: A Case Study In Getting Shit Done
I don't live in a walkable city.
I live in a mid-sized Texas town that only realizes that there are people who don't drive when TXDoT gives them money for active transportation infrastructure.
People constantly tell me that you just cannot walk or ride a bike in this city. It's impossible!
I do it anyway, because I firmly believe that solarpunk is a useless aesthetic if you aren't living it as best you can. We don't need technology to solve our problems we need will.
Also I do volunteer work on the political side of the local animal shelter and so I find myself at city hall several times a year and there's no bike rack.
Or rather there wasn't a bike rack.
I complained to someone, politely, informing them that I am doing this volunteer work and I don't have any safe place to lock my bike and that locking it to a handrail is inconvenient for everyone and also hideous.
A few months later a single staple-style bike rack was installed at city hall. It's not much, but I got sent a photo of someone else who got to use it before I did, clearly there was a need, if small.
Then I turned my gaze to the local grocery store, which had a bike rack, but the bike rack was terrible. It was too short for modern tire sizes, it was placed too close to the wall so one side was useless, and it was generally pretty cramped.
It took some time, but an advocate friend told me to contact the property owner instead of banging my head against the wall contacting HEB itself, and so I sent another polite complaint with a photo, explaining why it wasn't a very good bike rack and it would be really cool if we had a different one with better placement.
And about two months later, we have new staple-style racks at the grocery store, properly placed for maximum parking.
It's not a new bike lane. It's not a removal of parking minimums. It's not infill development or an active transportation advisory board.
They're just bike racks.
But that's the beauty of it. I, a person with an email address, some basic "how to be firm but polite while making an argument" skills, and a willingness to work out who to contact, fixed two problems for the local community. Trust me, I have had people wait on me to unlock my bike so they could have the "good spot." I was not the only person annoyed at the old rack.
It can be done. You're not powerless. Solarpunk doesn't have to be a wishful aesthetic.
Technology will not save us.
We have to save us.
An abandoned theater in Rochester, New York. Formerly a pornographic theater, then just a facade after the Walgreens next door gutted it to use as a warehouse. The Walgreens with it's shampoo and baby formula and half of the store locked in cages; the contradictions stare into you. You go because it is the nearest pharmacy, close in walking distance for you and your disabled loved ones.
The Walgreens shuts down and it too, is now just a vacant facade, next to a vacant facade. You stare into the large windows meant to advertise it's contents, now only showcasing absence. A wide open space with torn up floors. You think about how perfect the location could be for low income housing, for squatting, for anything other than standing as a constant reminder of the city's failures to her people. The parking lot is empty, save for the occasional cop car, to ensure no one uses the lot or the building for anything at all. The cop ensures the space will stay as useless as himself.
They add letters to the theater's marquee; a reminder and encouragement of surveillance. "If you see something, say something. In progress call 911, over and done call 311." They board up the doors, ensuring that the space will stay in it's intended form: empty, useless, an eyesore that reminds everyone of their place. The freshly boarded up door has been emblazoned with a message from those who lack.
"A man would shelter, if he could / in the nook behind this new plywood / the building, abandoned / the man is too / how I wish you'd imagine / that it were you."
Pictured above is Rain, an artwork by Thurlow Small Architecture, hung from the M Street NE underpass in the NoMa neighborhood of Washington, DC. It’s one of three artworks in a series commissioned by the neighborhood to beautify the area.
And by beautify, I mean drive out the unsightly homeless.
Local law states that the homeless cannot encamp on, in, or under public art, so the NoMa Parks Foundation identified three underpasses uniquely situated out of the elements and targeted them for their installations. Now of course, it doesn’t completely deter souls seeking shelter, but it does empower law enforcement to harass them and drive them into more hidden, less comfortable crevices of the city. Out of sight and out of mind.
There is a cold, cruel beauty in the piece. It’s almost self-conscious in a way. Art weaponized against the viewer, designed to resemble the very element they are trying to escape. Rain.
here’s how natasha pierre & the great comet of 1812 can still sweep