hi!!! my name’s lilac but you can call me lila!! i use she/her pronouns and love love love writing fanfiction! i like to write for masc!readers but im open to writing fem!readers and gn!readers as well. most my one shots will not be accessible for all ages, but they will be marked as 18+! i am also fully native american (sun’aq) so you will probably notice that my x readers will most likely be readers of color!!
requests are: open!
rules for requests: specify the character(s) you want and anything else youd like to be included. please don’t submit anything over 2k words please!! also please be patient i am a student and it might take a day or two before i get to writing your request!!
taking requests for characters from…
bridgerton
heated rivalry
the pitt
dispatch
star trek
challengers
bottoms
saltburn
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i am also open to writing for characters from fandoms not listed. chances are if i can do enough research on them that i’ll be willing to write for them!!
i hope you have a nice wander through my site! bai bai!!
pitt tumblr pleak don't leave why r u so quiet lately... jingle jingle jingle dennis drooling onto the sheets while robby pounds into him from behind jingle jingle jingle robby crying loud and ugly every time dennis sucks his dick jingle jingle jingle pathetic4pathetic hucklerobby pspspspsps here pup
“the nanny” chapter 1 will be out this friday!! follow me here or on ao3 (kingofheadaches) to read about dr robby adopting baby jane doe and caring for her during his sabbatical alongside whitaker, who becomes her nanny. found family, angst, adoption, and yaoi all in one?!!
Note: I will be uploading a fic with the same premise except masc!reader.
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Robert was going to have to find a new job.
It was unfortunate, really, but if he could barely get through a conversation with you without glancing down at your chest, then he was going to have to look for other employment opportunities.
He really didn’t want to be one of those creepy bosses who made you not want to come to work. Robert really enjoyed your friendship and you were one of the more agreeable people on the Z-Team.
But you were also the only one with nipple piercings.
Robert’d only seen them once, when the Z-team went out for drinks at the Sardine after a long shift. You had changed from your super suit into a tank top and baggy jeans, slung so slow that your belly button and hip piercings were both on display. With the amount of piercings you had (septum, tongue, the two in your cheeks), Robert should’ve assumed you might’ve had more.
But he hadn’t. As you sat down on a barstool beside him, Robert made the fatal mistake of looking a little too low, and instantly knew he had to quit his job.
He hadn’t seen the piercings since; Robert was sure you hid them to be work appropriate, but once he’d seen the metal poking through the thin material of your black tank top, he couldn’t unsee it.
You had enjoyed the staring for the most part. The sexual tension in your friendship had always been apparent, despite Robert’s very obvious and very sad attempts to conceal his desire. However, this little game of cat and mouse had been going on for six months. You were getting tired of the same old. You wanted to spice things up.
So what if you played a little dirty? You didn’t get your nipples pierced just to get cock blocked by Robert’s shyness! And still, laying (almost) all of your cards on the table, he was avoiding eye contact with you and flustering when you passed each other in the halls.
He was flustering.
You felt defeated. How was he so impossible to fuck? What were you doing wrong?
Your last chance arose when Robert announced he was having a Christmas party. Well, when Robert was forced into holding a Christmas party, thanks to Prism and Flambae. You dressed skimpier than usual, if anyone called you out it was because you run hot. Off the shoulder and oversized Christmas shirt that was see through enough that you added a white tank top underneath it to be safe. No bra. Tights and a high enough skirt that bending over would cause an HR violation.
As soon as Robert saw you arrive, his Adam’s apple bobbed in fear. Bullseye.
“Hey, Robert. Nice decorations.” You said, smiling teasingly.
He blinked at you, as if for a moment he couldn’t discern if you were joking. Or if you were real.
“Ah, yes, well, I tried to go shopping for any non-denominational holiday decor but the only thing left in stock was a Santa gnome.” Robert explained, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Did you get it?” You asked, entering the apartment and looking over at him.
“Of course I did.” Robert answered, shutting the door behind you. “I’m going to run Beef over to Chase’s place, but Prism should be around here to keep you company.”
Shit. You’d have to wait until later. Bidding him and Beef a goodbye, you helped Prism set up the party while you waited for Robert’s return. Unfortunately, when he came back, most of the other attendees had made it and he was immediately whisked away with Mandy and Courtney. You didn’t want anything to do with that friend group.
You were finally able to get Robert alone a little after 11pm. The party was in full swing, with everyone already a little too drunk for your sobriety. You had to stay sharp in order to have an adult conversation with him, and when you saw him disappear down the hall, you knew it was now or never.
Following quick behind him, you saw him turn as if he were about to enter his bedroom. You seized the opportunity.
“Robert! I was looking for you.” You greeted, clasping a hand on his shoulder.
“Ah, well,” He took an accidental glance at your boobs, then quickly corrected his stare. You started walking him back into his bedroom as he protests frantically, “I am kind of busy, but I can talk with you in a b—“
You cut him off by shoving him onto his bed, watching him land on his flat ass before continuing with your plan.
“I know you’re ignoring me.” You stated, crossing your arms (under your boobs. What! Let a lady do her thing).
“I’m not ignoring you.” Robert stood (or sat?) his ground, staring you directly in your eyes. “I’m being cautious, which has been incredibly difficult thanks to your lack of…of coverage.”
“What? Are you scared of a pair of D cups, Rob?” You asked, hands on either side of your hips.
“I’m scared of ruining a good friendship over a pair of d cups.” Robert corrected, rubbing a hand over his face.
“Robert. Be honest with yourself. Has it ever been just a friendship to you?” Your hand curls underneath his chin, forcing him to look back up at you. He looks so stressed. You could fix that.
You added, “If you want to go back to the party and pretend we didn’t almost fuck, that’s fine with me. But, if you have felt similarly, I have a Christmas present for you that I think you’re really going to like.”
Robert debated the ideas for a moment, but it was clear what he wanted. Eyes bloated with lust, he asked, “there wasn’t any other way you could insinuate that the other option was having sex?”
“Oh my god, I changed my mind.” You dropped his chin, stepping back while shaking your head. “I’m going to go seduce Golem instead. He’d treat me well.”
“Golem is a land mass. I don’t think he could treat you at all.” Robert stood up, stepping toward you with an eye roll.
“You don’t know that. Maybe he has some huge, boulder dick.” You suggested, the vision of an erect rock suddenly flashing in your mind; not something you really wanted to dwell on.
“Can we stop talking about Golem’s dick now? I’m sorry.” Robert requested, his hand finding yours and kissing the palm.
You pretended to size him up before sighing, “Mmm. I guess.” You gently pushed Robert back down onto the mattress in a seated position and climbed into his lap. There’s no hesitation from Robert; as soon as you’re situated, his lips were on yours like it was the end of the world. You licked your way into his mouth, groaning as your fingers found their way into his hair. His hot mouth detached itself from yours and started down your neck, leaving a wet trail from your parted lips down your throat. You gasped, knocking your hips against Robert’s desperately.
“So you had something you wanted to show me?” Robert asked, voice rough and teasing when he pulled away from your nape to look at you again.
“I did, I did. Oh, shoot.” You sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Robert asked, brushing a piece of hair out of your face.
“I dropped it in my tights.” You feigned defeat, letting your shoulders droop and shaking your head. “I don’t know if I can find it by myself!”
Robert blinked. He added after a beat, “I’m glad you never went into the acting industry.”
“What? You don’t like my new character?” You pouted, then whispered against his ear in a giggle, “Her name is Missus Can’t Take Off Her Clothes.”
“Why am I doing this to myself?”
“You’re about to find out, Robby.” You grinned, grasping the edges of your sweater and pulled it up over your head. Finally, Robert got to get a good look at your piercings.
And the perv was mesmerized.
Robert’s fingers gently traced down from your collarbone to chest, palms brushing against the metal piercings. You whimpered, grounding your barely clothed crotch against his thigh desperately, and Robert took that as his sign to go ahead. He flicked his thumb over both the buds vigorously until they hardened into pebbles, practically ignoring your squirming against his knee. Instead, instead, he leaned forward between your breasts and kissed the soft skin between them.
You cooed, wrapping a hand into his hair and pulling it up gently. Robert’s chin lifted and his lust lidded gaze bore into yours. Eyes locked with yours, he started pressing wet, open mouthed kisses into the tissue of your tits. You were shaking with anticipation while you watched with rapt attention as Robert parted his lips over your left nipple and sucked harshly.
“Fuck, Robert!!” You cried out, eyes wide open as you begun to hump his leg in desperate need to get to your climax.
He was on it as soon as you called his name. Robert laved over the piercing hard, kissing and sucking until it was swollen to satisfaction then moved to your right breast and continued his ministrations. You worked your hips against his thigh, trembling fiercely as you mounted your orgasm with a loud gasp, writhing in his grasp. You fell almost limp in his lap, still straddling his leg as he ripped open his jeans and pulled out his weeping dick.
“Rob, let me—“ You slid from his lap to the floor on your knees, lips readying.
“You don’t have to, it’s okay.” Robert dismissed immediately.
You rolled your eyes, hands on his thigh, “Come on, it’s not fa—“
“Can I come on them?” Robert interrupted quickly.
A beat of silence passed as you processed what he meant.
“On my tits?” You clarified, brain still foggy from your high. At the word “tits”, his lips parted.
“Please?” Robert asked, his flustered face making it clear that he was humiliated.
You looked down at his dick, red as his cheeks and being held in a death grip by Robert’s fist in a desperate attempt not to come. You’d never felt so aggressively turned on after an orgasm.
“Fuck yeah, Robby, of course you can.” You answered, grinning teasingly. When he didn’t immediately start, you made a sad face. “Come on, baby, won’t you come on my tits?”
“Fuck! Fuck, you’re—“ Robert’s hand was moving up and down his cock at a lightning speed, face pinched in pleasure as he thrusted up into his fist. His eyes ripped open as he came all over your tits and face, his legs quivering as he emptied his seed. After he came, he fell back onto the bed, exhausted from his peak.
“Oh no, don’t tell me i killed you.” You smiled, resting your chin on the bedside.
“HR is going to be so pissed.” Robert groaned, rubbing his fingers between his nose bridge.
“That’s what you’re worried about?” You frowned as you wiped the cum off of your chest with your sweater. Oh well. “Not the Z-team finding out?”
“Oh, we fucking know, assholes!” Flambae’s voice from the living room scared the living shit out of the both of you, causing you to jump onto the bed. “I’m sure everyone in LA knows!”
“You two were as quiet as a fucking train!” Prism added loudly, sounding equally as inebriated as Flambae.
A quiet ‘y-yeah!’ from Waterboy was heard, but he didn’t sound as upset.
“I mean, they won’t tell HR, right?” You asked in a quieter tone, patting Robert’s shoulder somewhat comfortingly. They meant well. Sometimes. They wouldn’t purposefully sabotage Robert’s efforts to be happy, right? Right?
Robert shouldn’t be as good as he is at eating you out.
Honestly, it’s a little frightening the first time he asks to.
That’s right, he asked to eat you out. Morning after a long night at SDN, he got up early to brew coffee while you’re still sound asleep in your shared bed you had convinced him to buy a few months into dating him (or maybe forced a little…but is it really forcing someone if they bought it for your anniversary?). You stirred awake at the sounds of his feet pandering across the bedroom floor.
“You made me coffee?” Your voice nearly cracked, registering the smell of crushed coffee beans nearby.
“I made us coffee.” Robert corrected.
“You sexy, sexy man.” You groaned, nuzzling up to him as he thoughtfully sipped at his mug. “How could I ever repay you?”
“Let me eat you out…” Robert muttered, almost like you weren’t supposed to hear it.
“Huh?” You were suddenly wide awake, the proposition burning at your stomach.
“Nothing.” Robert said quickly, averting his eyes in embarrassment.
Suddenly, you had a dilemma. You could either get ready for work, which was in two hours and would serve you both in the long run. Or… you could….
“Thats no way to ask for something.” You spoke up, a hand finding its way beneath his chin to force him to look at you.
“Can I please eat you out?” Robert requested,
“If you want to.”
Robert was on you so fast you wouldn’t be surprised if he had enhanced speed. His hands scrunched up your nightgown to your waist and tugged your boxer briefs (if you’d known you were going to get eaten out you would’ve dressed up a little) down to your knees, letting you take care of them the rest of the journey down.
You felt a moment of insecurity at the realization you hadn’t been shaving as often, causing a little bushel of hair to grow around your pussy, but Robert didnt show a hint of disinterest. In fact, he practically dove his nose into the hair, feeling through it before spreading your lips apart with two fingers and licking hard between them.
If you weren’t soaked before, you were now.
Your legs immediately tried to trap his hand between them, and he shook his head, “Nuh uh, sweetheart. Can’t eat your pussy if you decapitate me.”
“Theres a joke about head somewhere in there.” You muttered aloud but slowly lowered your thighs so they rested back against the mattress.
Robert’s tongue was back in your cunt like it’d never left, twisting and squirming inside you like he was trying to drive you insane. You shook above him, barely able to keep from crushing his head between your thighs like a grape.
“Fuck, that’s it, baby!” You cried out, clutching the bedsheets below you. “That’s a good boy.”
Robert’s face turned beet red at the phrasing and you grinned.
“Oh, isn’t that cute. You gonna be a good boy and make me come?” You asked, and his tongue sped up inside you. Robert quickly slipped in two fingers and you came with a shout of gibberish, a mixture between “good” and “Robert”.
Robert helped you ride out your blindingly good orgasm until you trembled against the mattress in slight overstimulation. He crept up the bed and plopped down beside you, seemingly exhausted from his adventures.
“Give me a second…I’ll help you out…” You mumbled, still not fully back online.
“There’s no need, I took care of it.” Robert excused, curling up at your side like a cat.
You hummed contently, before realizing, “Did you come from eating me out?”
“I came because you were calling me good boy like it was my name.” Robert explained, face flushing a pretty pink.
“I called you good boy twice.” You reminded him, giggling.
“It’s not funny.” Robert insisted, although he was grinning with you.
“My little people pleaser.” You cooed, caressing his cheek with a soft palm.
“This is kinkshaming.” Robert deadpanned.
“It’s kink-appreciation.” You corrected, kissing the bridge of his nose before shutting your eyes again.
“Im never making you coffee again.” Robert threatened, but his voice was sweeter than candy.
Needless to say, it wasn’t the last time he made you coffee. Or the last time he ate you out.
Then why the fuck was the building reduced to ashes? Why was Waterboy sporting a burn mark across his forearm? Why was Flambae not sorry?
Robert had sent them out on a relatively easy mission. One that didn’t take much brain power, or particular skill, just a bank robbery. Robert had sent Flambae and Waterboy, not even thinking that it would become a problem. He just sent them because they were the available heroes to dispatch. He trusted them not to cause a scene.
Clearly, Robert was wrong.
“I can’t believe it.” Robert groaned, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose hard enough to crack the cartilage. He tried to think of the good things that had happened today. He had gotten his own office…which just meant that he had another room for the Z-team to invade.
“I mean, it’s not that hard to believe a guy with fire powers would blow up a building.” Invisigal replied, the current invader of the hour, playing with her phone on the edge of his desk.
Chad entered his office with the swagger of someone who didn’t just burn down a building and injure his coworker. Robert stood up immediately, the fumes of frustration burning through him.
“What were you doing out there?” Robert asked, trying to keep his voice down.
“I don’t know what you mean, Bobby.” Chad shrugged, as if he wasn’t wearing a red cut along his cheekbone to prove his errors.
“Don’t fucking play dumb with me. This is serious.” Robert ground out, walking around his desk.
“Oooooo, daddy’s mad.” Invisigal whistled, earning herself a glare from both of the men. She held up her hands in surrender, “Jesus, im sorry that I’ve watched dubbed porno dvd’s with better written pre-sex dialogue than whatever the fuck you two are saying.”
“You watch too much porn, Invisibitch.” Chad snapped, cheeks red.
“Youre dismissed, Courtney.” Robert maintained his cool tone, but his glare was burning holes in the side of Chad’s neck. “This conversation is between Flambae and I.”
“Hot.” Invisigal bit her bottom lip before leaving the room, swinging the door shut behind her. For Robert’s sake, he locked the door himself, not trusting her to crawl back in when he wasn’t looking.
“What you did was irresponsible and inconsiderate of your teammates lives.” Robert turned back from the door, stalking over to where Chad stood.
“Oh boo hoo. Why do you fucking care so much? The sponge lived!” Chad pointed out, as if he wasn’t suffering a burn injury.
“You burnt down an entire building!” Robert argued back, feeling the heat coil ig in his stomach.
“What do you want me to do? Glue it back together?” Chad rolled his eyes, yanking the hair tie out of his ponytail, causing the hair to cascade down his chiseled shoulders. The way the black waves framed his face, falling down his toned back—
Robert cleared his throat, “I want a written apology to Mandy and Waterboy printed and on my desk by tomorrow.”
“Are you fucking serious? Im not doing that.” Chad scoffed, sliding the black band down his wrist. Robert felt his irritation grow.
“Youll be doing it if you want to keep your job.” Robert said, surprised at Chad’s lack of guilt, “You think I’d just let you get away scotch free?”
“I do.” Chad affirmed, crossing his arms and stepping closer to Robert.
“And why the fuck would I do that?” Robert asked, taking a step forward to make them close enough that Robert could count his eyelashes if he pleased.
“Because I’m your favorite.” Chad dared to say, cockily grinning up at Robert.
That was Robert’s final straw. He knew what to do.
Robert’s eyes narrowed, staring right into Chad’s eyes and ordered, “Put your hands on the desk.”
Chad looked as though he misheard him. “What?”
“You don’t want to apologize? Fine. You can make it up to me in another way.” Robert crossed his arms and Chad was, for once, speechless. He could feel the dare hanging in the air between them, taunting Chad.
“I can’t believe you’d fucking ask me that. I’m no fucking bitch, Robert.” Chad sputtered, brain clearly running on its last limbs.
“Because I’m the bitch?” Robert cocked his eyebrow, unimpressed with Flambaes answer. He sighed, “Well, then I hope to see your written apology tomorrow.”
Chad watched as Robert grabbed his jacket off his chair, trying not to seem too smug about the situation at hand. Robert could tell he was still deciding on whether to ruin his work environment indefinitely or write a heartfelt apology. Robert knew what he’d choose. As Robert stepped away from the desk, Chad grasped Robert’s wrist.
“Wait.” Chad demanded, face stern.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to write a stupid apology to some bitches I don’t care about.” Chad explained, still trying to sound like he had any control over the situation.
“I assumed so.” Robert sized Chad up, warm brown eyes clustered with lust. He tilted his head and asked impatiently, “You gonna bend over for me?”
“In your fucking dreams.” Chad snapped, but with no real bite.
Chad’s cheeks burned bright pink, turning around slowly and planting his palms down on the dingy desk. The table was just below his hips, making Chad arch his back to reach comfortably. Robert swallowed. What had he gotten himself into?
“Are you going to fucking hit me or what, bitch?” As soon as the word ‘bitch’ escaped Chad’s lips, Robert’s hand came down on his left ass cheek, shocking a startled “Fuck!” out of Chad. Not necessarily out of pain, just out of surprise.
“Don’t call me bitch when you’re the one bent over my desk.” Robert said in an almost bored tone, his hand resting on the cleft of Chad’s ass, “I’m thinking twenty, since you wasted twenty minutes fucking around instead of helping Waterboy on your mission?”
“Don’t bring up the fucking Wetwipe when you’re spanking me.” Chad groaned, burying his face in his hands. This time he was prepared for the next slap, bracing himself against the desk.
“You should only be talking if you’re counting.” Robert said, trying his best to sound apathetic to how hard he had hit Chad. He slapped Chad’s ass again before groping it harshly, “Otherwise, shut the fuck up.”
Chad sighed, biting his bottom lip hard as if he was actually going to stay quiet. Of course, Robert had assumed correct, and Chad was about to make a comeback when Robert struck his ass. Clutching the edges of the desk, Chad gasped aloud, heat surging in his stomach.
“Someone’s running a little hot.” Robert noted, unable to keep the grin out of his voice. Chad was enjoying himself, the little brat.
“Just fucking hit me.” Chad grunted, dipping his chin in embarrassment.
It went like that for another 5 strikes. Robert alternated from cheek to cheek, choosing randomly which to slap and how hard to slap it. Which was always really fucking hard because Robert was in a giving mood that evening. He knew, by hitting this hard, that Chad was going to struggle sitting for the next few days. He could already feel the blossoming bruise forming, and the idea of it lingering made his throat feel incredibly tight.
By the tenth smack, Chad was panting through his clenched teeth, his back arched deeply and lips wet with drool. His cock was hard as a rock, uncomfortably pressing through his suit and shifting against he edge of the desk. He didn’t dare pull it out though, not even making an attempt to hump the desk or Robert’s leg.
To be completely fair, Robert was not fairing too well either. Fifteen in and he was barely keeping himself together, voice crackling and hands burning.
“Come on, only five more,” Robert mumbled, his hand massaging over the tender skin. As if to reason with Chad, he pressed his hips forwards, the outline of his hard dick rubbing against him, “You’ve been so good already, yeah? Think you can do five more?”
Chad moaned at the praise, canting his hips upwards toward the friction.
“Fuck, that’s right, I know you can do five more for me.” Robert encouraged, his hands now parting Chad’s legs to get a view of his dick, which was bulging fiercely against the spandex of his suit. Chad whined at the feeling of Robert touching his inner thighs, and Robert groaned in response, jokingly remarking, “Don’t worry, I’ll play with your pussy once I’m done.”
Chad cried out at his choice of words, his knees buckling as he tried not to orgasm. Robert’s hands were off of him in seconds, mostly due to surprise at his strong reaction. Without the support, Chad had crumpled onto his knees, ass burning in pain and face burning in embarrassment.
Robert was first to speak, “Did you just—“
“Of course I f-fucking didn’t!” Chad snapped, trying to lift himself from the floor and finding himself to be unsuccessful. Robert brought a hand down to help the man up but Chad didn’t take it. Fiery, bratty but humiliated eyes met his, “You didn’t finish counting. Bitch.”
The “bitch” was seemingly tagged on as an after thiught, but Robert didnt think to mention it. Or that the 6 foot 4 muscle man had nearly come at his dick getting called a pussy. Instead, Robert sat down on his chair, and patted his leg.
“Lie on your stomach. We can finish them like this.” Robert said, not unfriendly but still firm. He wouldn’t pretend that he wasn’t enjoying this as much as Chad was, especially with how hard his dick was pressing against his jeans.
Flushed, Chad feebly pulled himself into lying across Robert’s lap, whimpering quietly when his clothed dick ground against Robert’s. His hips made a valiant effort to recreate the moment but Robert put a swift end to the action when he slapped his ass.
“If you wanna come, then you better behave and sit still.” Robert snapped, feeling the way Chad recoiled in his lap and desperately tried to control himself. “Can you do that? Are you going to be a good boy for me? Or…or a good girl?”
Barely audible, Chad whispered under his breath, “What the fuck is happening?”
Another smack, this one shocking Chad so bad he gasped. Robert’s hand lifted from his ass and he asked condescendingly, “Did you hear me, or should I just leave you here to get off by yourself?”
“Fuck, I’ll be good, I swear, please, Robert.” Chad whined, his eyes bordering with tears of frustration. Robert was making Chad cry. The thought was so intoxicating Robert nearly came.
Robert slapped his ass, once, twice, then three times before practically manhandling Chad upwards, settling his knees on either side of Robert’s lap. Chad caught up quickly, hanging his sweaty forehead on Robert’s shoulder and fumbling his dick out of his suit.
“No underwear, huh? You’d just let anyone rub your clit?” Robert shook his head disapprovingly, acting as though he was considering not getting Chad off despite having the shaft of Chad’s cock in his hands.
“Nononono, please, Robert, please pleaseI’vebeensogood.” Chad slurred, rocking back and forth lazily to get any sort of friction from Robert’s loose grip.
“You’re right, you’ve been such a good girl.” Robert agreed, twisting Chad’s hair over his shoulder so he could get a good look at the dick in front of him. It was flushed a deep red, hard and gushing precome like a water fountain. Robert knew it wouldn’t take much. He started to stroke Chad, quick and hard, whispering into his ear, “That’s it, fuck, you sound like fucking porno.”
“Robert—I can’t—I’m gonna come.” Chad hissed out between clenched teeth, his breaths leaving him in uneven pants.
“Are you going to come for me, Chad? Be a good girl and come i—“ Whatever nonsense Robert was going to spew was interrupted by a sharp cry. Chad clawed at his shoulders as he came violently, spurts of come decorating one of Robert’s best shirts (he was excited to bring that to the laundromat tomorrow morning). Robert jerked him off through the orgasm, feeling dangerously near coming in his jeans. Chad’s arched back finally relaxed, head thudding against his shoulder as he tried to regain his breath.
“Jesus fucking Christ, man.” Chad mumbled, still shaking from his high.
Robert wanted to give Chad the proper aftercare, he truly did, but he could feel his cock trying to fight its way out of his trousers itself. “I hate to move you, but I’ve got my own kind of situation down here.”
“Yeah, yeah, give me a fucking second, won’t you?” Chad groaned.
“You don’t have to get me off. It would be nice if you maybe just didnt, uh, mention this to anyone. Seeing as I would probably lose my job.” Shit, Robert did not think about that. How could he be such an idiot?
“You think I’m going to tell Bleach Blazer that you bent me over your desk and spanked me until I came?” Chad looked at him with disbelief before his hands found his way to the button of Robert’s pants, “I have a reputation to uphold.”
Robert teased, “Does your reputation include you having a feminization kink, or—“
“If you tell anyone that, I will fucking kill you.” Chad glared up at him, rolling Robert’s pants down his legs.
“Duly noted.” Robert muttered, biting his bottom lip as Chad sunk down to his knees on the floor. Chad took his dick out of his underwear, inspecting it with a calloused thumb. He stroked it loosely a few times before speeding up gradually, tightening his grip around Robert’s cock.
“Shit, Chad, I’m so close—“ Robert swore, his hips pounding back up into Chad’s curled fist. Chad grinned at his desperation, rubbing the tip of his dick with his thumb,
“Come on, Robbie, let me see you come. Ive been waiting so long. Please, come on my face.” Chad egged him on, his voice sounding degrading and desperate altogether. Leaning closer between his legs, Chad looked up at him with batted eyelashes and whined, “Please, daddy?”
Robert had never come so hard in his life.
Chad was kind enough to stroke him gently through it until his dick went limp in his fist. Robert slumped in his chair as Chad stood up, tying his hair back up into a ponytail.
“Are you going to be okay to work tomorrow?” Robert asked, watching the way Chad seemed to wince with every leg movement.
“Of course, bitch, I’ve taken dick bigger than your apartment.” Chad snorted. Okay. So much for being nice.
Robert cleared his throat, “Well, if you need anything—“
“Here’s my number.” Chad all but shoved his phone at Robert, ten digits blinking up at him expectantly. “Write that down. I don’t need to call you, but if your flat ass is ever that desperate again, text me in advance.”
“Yeah, because I was definitely the desperate one in this situation.” Robert said sarcastically but typed out Chad’s number into his contacts. He sent him a ‘this is Robert’ text message, which made Chad snort. “What?”
“You text like my Amma.” Chad snickered, as if that was the biggest insult he could’ve gotten.
“Wow, thank you.” Robert sarcastically accepted his compliment, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.
“Whatever.” Chad put his phone away, walking toward the door, “Night, bitch.”
“Good night, Chad.” Robert replied, leaning back in his chair and trying to figure out how he was going to explain Chad getting out of punishment to Mandy.
I don’t think Robert’s a virgin AT ALL because come on guys let’s be serious BUUUUUT i do think when you and robert have sex for the first time it’s been a while for him. When he was still actively serving as mechaman, he didn’t have much time for dates, and when his suit was near destroyed, he didn’t have the energy left to try.
After defeating shroud and settling back into dispatching, he finds he has a lot of free time on his hands…and he now has you, of course. Robert tries to not let it show, but he’s nervous about impressing you with how “rusty” he is. You don’t care at all, but it gets to a point where he gets red when you ask to shower at his place cause he knows you’ll walk out topless just to fuck with him. Or when youre kissing and it gets intense, his hands start to shake and you have to time out for both of you to cool off (because of course you match his freak).
Your first time is after a particularly good last shift, both you and Robert high off of the excitement of success and driving back to his place for a quiet night with a few drinks (“It’s not Netflix and Chill if I can’t afford a Netflix subscription.” Robert would defend himself, borderline abusing the dvd player to get the ‘Elf’ disk in). While watching tv, you reach for the remote and turn down the volume, kissing him slowly as to not overwhelm him. After a few minutes, you slide yourself into his lap, clicking the off button on the remote. You two make out for a good while, sloppily licking into each others mouths with blinding heat, before you lift yourself off of his lap and sink down onto the floor in the space between his legs.
“You can.” Robert says shakily when you look up at him through batted eyelashes.
“Do you want me to?” You ask, cocking your head to the left. You'd never do anything Robert wasn’t ready for.
Robert sucked in a breath, catching your chin with his hand as he nodded, “Yeah, of course I do.”
…….
And that’s how you gave Robert the best blowjob of his life ❤️
robert robertson vs buying a mattress: flambae edition
the first time flambae and Robert hook up is in a bathroom stall in the Sardine right after flambae’s karaoke performance. it was a bad idea, obviously, because neither of them were satisfied, and they hooked up again days later in a storage room in SDN. It works, for a little bit, but after nearly getting caught twice by Chase and Waterboy (and possibly watched by Invisigal), they both agree they have to get it on in private.
flambae’s place isnt an option because he’s roommates with prism, so they head over to robert’s house. Upon the discovery, flambae straight up refuses to sleep with him.
“We’ve literally hooked up in a bathroom stall before. Multiple times.” Robert reminded Chad, who was looking at the apartment like a disappointed father.
“Where the fuck are we supposed to hook up here?” Chad snapped, “The floor? Where the dog sleeps?”
Robert pointed over his shoulder, “Beef has a bed in the kitchen.”
“Then why don’t you have a bed?!”
”I didn’t know you’d be such a brat about my living situation.” Robert crossed his arms.
“I didn’t know that you slept in a fucking chair!” Chad looked over from the depressing lawn chair that sat in the middle of the room back to Robert, “You said I could stay the night.”
Robert suggested, “You can sleep on the couch?”
Flambae walked out without another word. At first, Robert didnt think he was being serious, but after a week of flambae making snide remarks about his mattress-less life in response to any advance Robert made, it was clear that Flambae wasnt letting up. Robert bought a mattress and bed sheets (no bed frame, out of spite) after his last shift that week and sent a picture to flambae. Not even two minutes later Flambae had busted his front door off the hinges.
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comment if I should make this a fully developed fic 🥹🫰
Was too busy on thanksgiving to write this and also forgot but I can only imagine how phenomaman and blonde blazer’s first thanksgiving went over..ESPECIALLY preparation for the feast.
Neither phenomaman or blonde blazer can cook particularly well and after phenomaman asks, confused and a little traumatized, “does the turkey enjoy this?” With a handful of stuffing and an uncooked turkey in front of him, blonde blazer’s gives up and orders them tacos. This became some little tradition between the two of them for any major holiday. Even after they broke up (and blonde blazer made it incredibly clear that they would not be getting back together), they continued the tradition because they’re chill like that.
robert robertson vs buying a mattress: waterboy edition
if dating waterboy, robert buys it out of pity for him. Herm insists that he doesn’t mind sleeping on the floor, in the heap of beach towels Robert has, but waking up to seeing Waterboy’s lanky body curled up on top of a pile of soaked towels (with beef often cuddled up with him) makes Robert feel bad no matter how Herm feels about it.
He must’ve had an emo phase when he was a kid as a ploy to get his dads attention. I can sense the embarrassing selfies Robert took with smudged eyeliner he BEGGED chase to buy him with the excuse it was for his nonexistent girlfriend…a fake nose piercing he’d made out of wire for himself…a ratty Bad Religion tshirt he’d found at good will…
his dad never even saw the look because chase was over when Robert first put the look together and burst into laughter when he saw Robert sleuthing down the hallway trying to sneak out.
Punk Robert was never seen again until the Z-team discovered the pictures he’d posted on his old Facebook account he couldn’t log back into. For at least a month or two, Robert was greeted with little black and white printed pictures of his “edgy” teenage self glued onto anything in the office the Z-team could stick it to (including, on numerous occasions, Beef or Robert himself).
flambae likes getting his hair played with. not even in a sexual way (not to say he doesn’t like it getting yanked when he’s gettin down n dirty…..) but like he lets his niece braid it whenever he’s visiting and eventually he lets Robert play with it too when they’re hanging around his house and has to teach him how to make a braid because he keeps getting it all knotted.
flambae and Robert’s hair routine is like the meme where there’s hair oil, shampoo, conditioner, hair spray, curl cream, detangler and serum on one side of the sink and then 5-in-1 on the other side.
i can elaborate on this in a fic but i know for a fact that patrick has a dick piercing i just can’t prove it….he probably got it senior year to impress art, who thought it was the coolest thing ever but pretended he thought it was stupid. patrick told everybody he could and pretended that it didn’t hurt even though he would bitch about it as soon as he was in private with art who would just roll his eyes and be like “I told you so, idiot” but would get all red whenever patrick brought it up.
im sure tashi would think it was stupid when she heard about it.
Guys what do we think Waterboy’s real name could be…..because I’m feeling something really nerdy like Garrett or Brandon or something…help me choose im writing fanfic of him and I can’t just keep calling him Waterboy it’s frying me 💔💔💔