lilifred

posting consistently? who tf is that? sounds like a government conspiracy

[lilifred]

I've been passively Aware of monster high as like a concept and doll line since I was a preteen and honest to god it never occurred to me until yesterday that Draculaura's name was a pun based off the names Dracula and Laura

I am a grown ass adult and it took me until seeing an instagram post about her sister (cousin? distant relative? secret third option?) to be like:

Me: Wow Elissabat kinda sounds like Elizabeth but it's a bat pun because of vampires haha that's so crazy

Me: ...

Me: ...

Me: wait a minute

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[lilifred]

y'know, this reminds me of that one time in college where everyone in my marketing class had to make a presentation talking about something they were well informed on except I was boring as hell and had basically zero hobbies and I was like shit what do I do I guess I could do something based off my job except I was working at a grocery store at the time and so I decided to make a powerpoint explaining why apples are objectively the best fruit and there was one slide where I made a scale ranking different types of apples according to like mouth feel or something and I included literally every apple type I had ever come across and that was how I ended up calling red delicious satan's pathetic hellspawn of an apple in front of thirty people and my forty year old instructor. anyway I prefer honeycrisp, they're pretty good

[lilifred]

so who was going to tell me that the monkey lookin ship repair aliens in Mandalorian and Grogu were voiced by none other than Moaning Myrtle??

[lilifred]

Finally bought a copy of Jedi: Fallen Order and I'm very excited to be playing it but holy shit I am so bad at video games lmao

I wish there was a death counter in this game just so I could know how many times I've fallen off edges vs gotten my ass beat by slugs. Ooogabooga or what ever that giant frog lookin thing is called is now my mortal enemy

However, when you consider the fact that my only gaming experience up until this point has been wii sports, various lego games, and hogwarts legacy (aka games where you can't die, where combat is relatively forgiving, and where you can shoot at things from a distance), I'm actually doing quite well :)

As soon as I figure out how to dodge these slugs are fuckin done for

[pukicho]

I could become the first white rapper ever to rap fast

[lilifred]

what about macklemore

[lilifred]

not sure where this stands in the star wars canon, but I'm adding it to the timeline right now

[psshaw]

[lilifred]

everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally

tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store

[pukicho]

Is ignorance truly bliss? Because a lot of dumb fucking idiots are racist and angry ALL the time.

[chocogummigoodness]

I think it only applies to dogs and lizards

[pukicho]

Racism???

[lilifred]

accurate bc my dog screams at literally anybody who's not white. we didn't teach him to do that, it's just a Decision he made for himself

[lilifred]

Went to the store today to pick up a couple groceries for my mom and let me tell you hearing "your idol" blasting over the speakers while I'm trying to price check shit is not conductive to a good shopping experience. I do not need to listen to the Saja Boys doing aerial acrobatics and hypnotizing people with music as I'm agonizing over beef prices

[lilifred]

happy thanksgiving everyone, my sister just walked into the house with an actual speed limit sign she stole from god knows where

[lilifred]

you know it's been a real tough time soldiering in the trenches lately when god starts giving you his weakest battles to compensate

[laceywaves]

While I love the riders very dearly they simply cannot come close to how crazy Book!Fishlegs and Camicazi are about Book!Hiccup. Like Hiccup once told them to throw him into shark-dragon infested waters because he “had a plan” and they just. Listened. Did they know what the plan was? No. They simply believed that it would work because Hiccup came up with it. And that’s barely even scraping the surface. Fishlegs lets himself become a slave to give Hiccup a word of encouragement, and Camicazi willingly stays enslaved even when given a very easy way out because she didn’t wanna leave Hiccup alone. Both sail towards a volcano about to erupt and release hundreds of bloodthirsty dragons because Hiccup thinks he can probably stop it. Like come on. And I that isn’t even mentioning how crazy Hiccup is about them.

[lilifred]

lmao the best part about the shark-dragon waters thing is that Camicazi had known Hiccup for like less than a week and was completely ready to ride-or-die for him. iconic behavior from our burglary gal

[lilifred]

Of all the posts and reposts and reblogs I've seen across the internet, there is not a single one that has rewritten by brainwaves more than the "enrichment in a tiger enclosure" post

Paired with that post about going to the butterfly exhibit as an adult because you have the freedom and money to do all the things you wanted to do as a kid and couldn't, it has been an unironic game changer for my mental health to just go out and do shit. There's no bucket list, no month-long budgeting, no grand plan to stick to. Sometimes you just need to just get up and get out of the town you've lived in your whole life for a few hours. I'm enriching my enclosure with a metaphorical pumpkin full of meat

Like there's all this health advice on the internet about going out for walks and signing up for classes and testing new recipes, and hey if that works for you that's great! Joy can be found right at home! But sometimes you just need to wake up one morning and decide you're going to leave the house on an adventure for an undetermined amount of time

Anyway, here's a photo of a hermit crab I got to hold at a local aquarium last week:

Life gets wasted when it's stagnant. Go sit in the woods. Go touch a fish. Go do shit you wouldn't normally do

Let the tiger have fun

[lilifred]

thank you safari, how very helpful of you

[lilifred]

do you guys ever forget that sometimes the things that you think are common knowledge aren't actually well known?? Like I was talking to my sister and she was complaining about how she can't find anything to read and I was like "well, what about the book I lent you?" and she started going on about how she didn't want to bring it to work with her and risk dropping it in the mud by accident (she works in construction) so I said she could just look up a copy of it online and she stared at me like I was speaking in tongues or something, so I did what any good internet mentor does and pulled up google and showed her the power of typing "*insert book title here* free pdf" and hitting enter and then scrolling through whatever pops up until you find a complete version of the book you're looking for, and based on her reaction in that moment I felt like jesus gifting a starving man a feast

like it's wild to me that this girl is almost an adult and yet has never felt the kind of desperation that leads into a late night google session frantically smashing different word combos together until you find one that gives you decent results. And while it might seem like the obvious solution to me and other people who read a lot and have gone down similar rabbit holes, I genuinely forget that this is not the kind of idea that forms naturally in peoples heads when they're looking for solutions, especially when they never even realize it's a possibility in the first place

[macs-instantdoodles]

I love this meme

[lilifred]

Hands down, the best version of this meme I've seen

[lilifred]

Looking for non-romantic fantasy book recommendations!

I've almost finished my "to be read" list of books and I've been searching for a new fantasy book to read for the next few weeks. While I love fantasy as a genre, all the books I've been coming across are either romantasy or feature romance as a main subplot, and I'm genuinely tired of reading them. No hate if you like romantic plots (I like them too!), I just really want to read about magic and mystical beasts without also having to read about how X character is falling in love with Y character while also having feelings for Z character because of blah blah blah

If anyone's got a book recommendation, please share! Doesn't matter if it's high fantasy or urban fantasy, 300 pages or 900, or even what reading level it is, I'll be happy to take a look at it! I really want to read something new in the genre that doesn't feel like it's recycling the same tropes as every other fantasy book I've come across

(honestly, I'm even fine with a little bit of romance, I just want to read a book where that isn't the main relationship involving the protagonist (platonic or familial please!))