A little corner to show off games I play, things I draw and things I make. Star Wars, Arcane, witchcraft and other random stuff. Also a twitch affiliate and YouTuber. Minors DNI 18.+
So I printed and cut the pattern way too big. So we are back at the start again. However this time I’ve manage to do most of it in one session. I am more hopeful this time.
So the work on this is going slow especially as I realised I can’t have this the way I want to on Twitch so this will be a specifically twitch header once done!
Some more progress, survivor is always easier than killer I find. Something that takes survivors one match always seems to take three if four for killer. Ah well.
@ailesswhumptober
Day 17
Abandonment, Misunderstanding, "Why did I even think you cared?"
Fandom: The Bad Batch
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Word Count: 1238
Summary: Crosshair, without planning to, tries to talk to Hunter while he has him captive on Kamino. He still can't understand Hunter's decision.
READ ON AO3
Crosshair had tried to remain looking nonchalant, toothpick in his mouth, but all he could think, looking at Hunter’s face, was that he wanted to hurt him. He wanted to hurt him like he had been hurt. But that wasn’t possible. Hunter would have to love him first.
Before he knew it, words were coming out of his mouth (a rarity), and it showed his own hurt rather than inflicting it: “Why did I even think you cared?”
Crosshair wanted to take the words back. It was too soon to share what he was feeling. He had a plan for this. But his heart didn’t want to go along with the plan.
“All those years, and I was just the odd one out, apparently,” Crosshair went on. “You all just put up with me. Never really caring, never giving a shab about what I was actually feeling.”
Hunter, even cuffed, and with a heavy stormtrooper presence in the room where he was currently being held on Kamino, was brave enough to get up in Crosshair’s face, shoving him.
Crosshair straightened, and stood his ground.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Hunter growled out. “I always cared about you. Always! Nothing can change that.” He looked down, adding, “Not even the Empire.”
Crosshair shoved him back, and tossed his toothpick aside.
“Well, doesn’t look like it from where I stand. You abandoned me. You left, and for what, a girl we barely knew? Is she my replacement? Am I worth that little to you? What does she have that I don’t?”
“We left because you were firing at us! We were there to go back for you.”
“Mm hmm.”
“There wasn’t time,” Hunter argued. “You didn’t give us time. We didn’t have a choice.”
Crosshair eyed the imperials in the room, noticing some were paying attention to this.
So Crosshair leaned in to ask, “And you think I did?”
“You’re loyal to the Empire,” Hunter said. “That wasn’t the right decision for us.”
“So what, that means I just get left here? What is your loyalty worth if you go around abandoning your teammates? Maybe I should let Omega know when she gets here that if given the chance you’d do the same to her.”
Fire was in Hunter’s eyes, and Crosshair knew usually fists came next, then blood. Yet Hunter was powerless.
For some reason it didn’t feel as good as he had thought it would have.
None of this did.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure.”
Crosshair couldn’t understand Hunter’s decision. What was the point if Crosshair was dropped from their squad that easily? He’d grown up with them, trained with them, discovered their names with them. He’d even gotten his tattoo with Hunter.
Was it all al lie?
Was it all a waste? Did his life, his time, his memories, his love, mean so little to them, to Hunter?
“I wanted to be loyal to you,” Hunter said, lowering his head. “I… I really wanted to. But there was no way to get you out.”
“Who said I wanted out? You’re just a coward, giving up your power, going on the run, just ‘cause a little regime change was too much for you.”
Hunter shook his head. He did look pained when he looked back up at him, but Crosshair couldn’t understand it.
“Crosshair, the Empire is too much for all of us. You’re not worth anything to them. I see how they treat people, I see who they kill, who they target. It’s just a matter of time before—”
Crosshair clenched his fists, resisting the urge to shove him.
“My position here is secure,” he argued.
Hunter raised an eyebrow. “And you know that for sure?”
“Yes.”
“What makes you so confident?”
Crosshair scoffed, not about to share everything with the man who didn’t care about him. All his words sounded like weak manipulations, like things an enemy would tell him if they wanted him to comply. The Empire didn’t do that to him. It gave him purpose. What would he be without that purpose, if he wasn’t a solider? He had a bunk to sleep in, food to eat, a place to retreat to, power. So, they killed a few Jedi to get to where they were now. Who even cared? They’d never really worked with the Jedi before, and they had all seemed too uppity for his tastes. Why skirt around so-called morals when you needed to do a job? With the Empire Crosshair could just get the job done, didn’t even have to question it, didn’t feel the need to examine his actions. He was secure here. Hunter could have been too.
A sneer made its way onto his face as he looked at Hunter.
Did he even want him back? If Hunter and the rest of them decided they would join the Empire, would Crosshair even want to be with them again?
So much had changed.
Sure, there was the chip. He’d had that problem fixed, but what did it matter when this was what Crosshair believed in? He was meant to be in a place of power, he was meant to be a soldier. There was nothing else for him. This was what he was made for. And Hunter had turned from that path, becoming lesser, leaving him.
“They don’t care about your loyalty, Crosshair,” Hunter said.
“Oh? And I’m supposed to care about yours?”
“Yes.”
“Then you should have stayed. You should have been loyal to me. Guess that was too difficult for you.”
Hunter shook his head. “I left the Empire. I didn’t leave you.”
“What’s the difference?”
A great sadness welled up in Hunter’s dark eyes, but Crosshair figured it was probably pity. He leaned back against the Kaminoan seat again, grabbing another toothpick; he couldn’t let Hunter see that it bothered him.
“If you can’t tell, then you’re more lost than I realized.”
Crosshair nodded to two stormtroopers, getting their attention.
“I’m tired of this one,” he said to them as they came over. “Gag him until the rest of his squad shows up.”
“Yes, sir.”
Hunter didn’t fight, just looked at Crosshair in a way that Crosshair couldn’t understand. So he turned his head away. He’d said too much as it was.
When are the rest of this sorry lot getting here? I’m sick and done with them.
Though he still wanted to be one of them. He had to try. He didn’t know what he would do if they left him again.
But something seemed so irrevocably broken, and maybe there was no going back to the way things were.
Sure, Crosshair had power, he was a soldier. But he was another thing too:
A brother.
He wanted to be Hunter’s brother, and Tech’s brother, and Echo’s, and Wrecker’s.
They didn’t want to be his.
I have to try.
Crosshair was adamant about that. It would hurt, but deep down he had to go through with his plan, he had to talk to all of them, because he missed them, missed his brothers. And he wasn’t right without them. He hoped they weren’t right without him too. Though he figured that was too much to hope for.
Crosshair apparently wasn’t what they needed, what they cared about.
They hadn’t been loyal to him. Nothing Hunter could say would change that.
Amongst an Empire, Crosshair was truly alone. He was no one’s brother.
Another great crop of challenges done. Also some adept achievements and prestige levels. Rebecca is well on her way to being my next P100 and then I have to choose who I am going to do next!
Slow going on starting my next cosplay…I say starting it’s actually picking it back up after the move and last year!
It’s Lune’s coat pattern and I shall be making it from scratch but also making a mock up. It’s not something I normally do but because we have to put markings on the fabric before sewing so need it right before hand.
