There exists something deep within my soul that yearns to stab.
No title available
almost home
No title available

if i look back, i am lost

shark vs the universe
KIROKAZE
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

No title available
occasionally subtle
Monterey Bay Aquarium

@theartofmadeline

Kaledo Art

Andulka
Jules of Nature

Product Placement
trying on a metaphor
No title available

#extradirty
Cosimo Galluzzi
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Canada

seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from Japan

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
@lillyalia
There exists something deep within my soul that yearns to stab.
when i was a kid the Mick Jagger reference in Tik Tok by Ke$ha confused me because mick in 2009 did not look like what i was told an attractive man looked like but now in 2025 i understand that there is a thriving population of straight women et al who really want to fuck ratty old men. i fully believe that she was genuinely hounding for a man who had been using cocaine for fifty years and showed it.
what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs
i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names
my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them
framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse
medieval backstreet boys: you are… my friar
the one... dear squire
Happy Friday afternoon! 😁☺️ We've done it! 😎😌 We've got to the end of the week ‼️✅️ We've locked 🔒 up ⬆️ our warehouse 🚚 we've parked ⛲️♿️ up our vans 🚐 we have logged off ❌️ our computers 💻 and I've quickly 🏃♂️ popped 🫧 into my local favorite pub 🍻🇬🇧 for a cheeky pint of beer ☺️🍺 and look 😳🔎 a little bit of 🤏 early dinner 🍴😋 because the wife 👰♀ I love her dearly 🥰❤️ but her cooking 🍳👩🍳 ain't that great 🙅♂️🤢 and we've got 😮 a stunning ✨️ beef and ale pie 🥧🍮 a bitofmashedpotatoes 🥔🧈 baked beans 🫘 in a pot 🫕 which I think 💭 is wrong 😤 but it's happeninganyway 🤷♂️ and of course a bit of gravy 🥣🍲 and you know me 😉 I never look 🚫👀 when I pour 🙈🫗 because I am ☝️‼️ the absolute govnah 💂♂️🧑💼 And listen goiuys 👂 hope you had a great week 😘⌚️ keep on smashin' life 💥😮 keep givin' it a hundred 💯 and ten 🔟 per cent 🔣 and don't go home 🏠 until you're proud ✌️😌 And listen 🎧🙉 cheers to you all 🏅🎆 You deserve it 😉 A'bosh! ⁉️
What is going on in r/kitchencels
some highlights from the comments
never wanted to pray for someone before
I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"
My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.
I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲
Fencing Emojis as rated by someone who's fenced for like. a year
Was wondering what the fencing emojis were like. if you were curious:
apple:
Pretty decent start. Visually fine, dynamic motion. Clearly meant to be a foilist. Look at the detail on those socks and shoes! Even has the weird crotch strap and the zip on the lame. only unfortunate thing is the sword. Why is it bent in that direction? either they are doing a bad flick or the foil is bent in the wrong direction. Mostly accurate and not terrible to look at. 6/10.
google:
Definitely a more cartoonish take. Again, I think this is meant to be a foilist, but this time the lack of distinctive coloring is confusing. No socks. No weirdly colorful fencing shoes. Why is the whole sword gold? Puzzling. There’s little attention to detail in this guy. Definitely less dynamic. This is a fencer before the ref says fence, and it shows. 4.5/10.
microsoft:
weird to look at. My first reaction is “oh no”, my second is “but at least they got the shoes.” listen the outline is just too thick for this lad. Also, their knee is past their foot, and that will really screw up the knee. 2/10 for the shoes.
samsung:
this is…. kind of just a marginally worse version of apple’s fencing emoji. Most of the criticisms apply here. They also took away the colorful fencing shoes. 5.5/10.
whatsapp:
The first one with non-white socks! I appreciate the pop of color and again, the attention to detail is stunning. The pose is fun. I don’t really understand the arm, because it doesn’t look like they’re lunging, but I feel like I have both seen and done this exact thing before. The sword is still bent weirdly, but I feel like here at least its conceivable they’re doing a flick. 9/10 nice socks
twitter:
Very clean! I enjoy how simple it is. No outlines no detail only Facts here. weapon angle is perfect. they’re ready to go. no arguments from me, this is just a good good sword friend. 10/10.
Facebook:
words cannot convey how angry I am at this one. What weapon is this supposed to be? The bell suggests it’s an epee, but the figure is apparently dressed entirely in plate armor. why is your finger up sir? Where’s your weapon pointed? watch your knee. you’ll ruin it. If you’re lunging maybe have your arm extended behind you. Your proportions suck and your vibes are wack. -100/10.
joypixels:
Mostly I’m fine with this, except for the fact that the thighs are about the same width as their torso which is a lil wack. they also appear to be wearing clogs. I’ll give this a solid 7/10 for being after the Facebook one and not making me angry. My standards have fallen.
openmoji:
try harder. 0/10.
emojidex:
YES! this is what I’m talking about. Perfect form. deep lunge with the back leg straight and the knee not past the foot. back arm extended. foil slightly curved in the RIGHT DIRECTION. this one was clearly drawn with care and thought, and I appreciate that. 100000/10
emojipedia:
?????? why holding foil but no lame?? what is this position? reminds me of every fencer I’ve fenced who has thought the secret to victory lies in throwing themselves bodily at me. -10/10 I don’t trust like that
At first i was like: why the hell is this on tumblr?! And then it suddenly made sense...
This is incredible.
@commodityproduction
I'm afraid it's hopeless
hey, that dogs whole job is to point at birds, and it is indeed pointing at a bird
What more do you want?
That German shorthair pointer is sure pointing.
a new kind of angel has come to earth it's called transgender woman in her 30s
for a transgender woman your 20s are for struggling and suffering and clinging to the tiny scraps of joy you've foraged. they're for watching your life burn down and then rebuilding it and watching it burn down again and wondering if it will ever stop burning down. it doesn't feel like it will ever end, but after lying in your despair enough times you will start to notice that the scraps you've been collecting are forming a modest little pile. and, though you're left again with nothing but those little gold flecks, they are what will form into your halo when you turn 30
I love you