[joeyclaire]

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

[joeyclaire]

[pokeballvictim]

I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety

[sexchangedotcom]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[thisismyideaofhumor]

I always wondered why the Western Zodiac and the Chinese Zodiac were both called zodiacs if one was associated w astronomy and the other w time in general. Like what defines a zodiac that the word is only used to describe these two things? Looking up the word “zodiac” in the dictionary didnt help bc it only talked about the western one.

Well, I decided to look up the etymology for zodiac and it turns out it comes from the Greek for “circle of little animals.” I love humans

[okayneat]

was unwilling to accept this outright so i checked etymonline and, truly:

(img described in alt text)

[hipstercanada]

Behold, a zodiac!

(Image description in alt text)

[eltrolodecadadia]

@leyorugua

[vampire-red-deactivated20210228]

Wheres that “before pride month ends does anyone want to admit they have a crush on me” post, like I know it’s only the 11th but I cant stop thinking abt it

[legally-baby]

ok so I know exactly what you’re talking about but I can only find the one with bowser :/

[vampire-red-deactivated20210228]

Honestly I think the bowser version is better than the original

[butchdotgov]

So sorry to keep twitter posting but this had me dead

[leninthesixth]

idk how much this made the news in the Americas but the Hellenic coast guard watched as a vessel carrying more than 400 (some estimates say 700) migrants capsized and sank in the Mediterranean. 104 people survived. official death toll is 79 because the rest is missing, and might never be found. There are claims that many children were below deck.

Frontex and the Hellenic Coast Guard was aware of the vessel and the dangerous situation it was in for days, but did not intervene

[leninthesixth]

The coast guard released this photo. They came this close but did not intervene. EU and the Greek coast guard sat and waited for this boat to sink

[leninthesixth]

Survivors and rescuers claim that the boat capsized after being towed by the coast guard at high speed.

if this is true, at best they caused an accident out of carelessness and immediately retreated to cover it up, or they committed a massacre.

[theboxer1261970]

id: a series of tweets about a boat, with migrants on it, capsizing and leaving 104 survivors.

tweet one, from niki kitsantonis, reads: "Photos of migrant boat taken by Greek coast guard helicopter on Tuesday indicates hundreds were aboard. Official death toll so far 79 with 104 survivors. Shipping Ministry official says boat sunk in spot where sea is 4,000 meters deep, so retrieving other victims may be impossible."

the photos attached are of a blue (?) boat with people packed like sardines in the middle of the water.

tweet two reads: "The vast search and rescue operation continues with hundreds missing and at least 78 dead, the Hellenic Coast guard said in a statement on Thursday. A new photo has been released by #Greece's coast guard showing the fishing vessel that appears to be photographed at night time."

the photo attached is of the boat at night time.

tweet three, from iasonas apostolopoulos, reads: "[thread emoji] New item that completely changes the data! Rescuers revealed that the new coast guard was towing them at high speed, this destabilized the boat and sank it! If this is true, we are not talking about criminal negligence, but about an act that caused the death of 600 people."

the video attached is of a middle-aged man, with his arms folded, wearing an n95 mask, surrounded by people.

/end id]

[lovesofagnostic-deactivated2024]

[thesundanceghost]

Nothing I’ve read has changed me more than “you do people a favor by accepting their help” like I repeat this constantly to so many people because it’s true!!! People like to feel useful, they like to feel kind, they like to feel like they have an ability to impact people’s lives so just let them!! Not everything is a thing to be owed back — accept people’s kindness without making a competition out of it

[whitepeopletwitter]

[autistic-rock]

sure happy pride I’m glad you found your community but are you normal about straight queers, disabled queers, fat queers, non-white queers, masc queers, queer men, queers who use “confusing” labels, queers who use “contradictory” labels, queers who identify with slurs, multigender queers and their attraction labels, and trans and intersex people’s bodies?

[modernbaseball]

Naming the female razor brand Venus is so personally offensive to me....you think Venus the goddess of love and sex and beauty was shaving her PUSSY? Go kill yourself

[stupot]

when i was a freshman in college i wanted to dress up for halloween because i thought surely college students would have the spirit. so i elected to put a whole entire Skull Kid from legend of zelda majora’s mask cosplay together and wear that fucking ensemble to college on halloween.

i step on campus and realize immediately that not one other person is dressed up. not so much as a cat ear headband. so imagine this fucking dude sitting in a class of otherwise normally dressed people looking like this. that was me. this was my 9/11

[plaquerat-deactivated20240331]

im in a committed relationship to a beautiful woman called the bit

[bwaaaaaaaaaaaaa-deactivated2025]

why do the porn bots disappear for a while before coming back in huge waves its like plants vs zombies tumblr style 

[fullmetalfisting]

I love when you see someone reblogging a text post multiple times because you don’t know if tumblr glitched on their end or if the post, “who else up garging they goyle” really fucking resonated with them and they just had to rb that mf 4x

[sea-salted-wolverine]

So there are some perks to living in a tourist destination. There are a lot of detractors mostly that you cannot shoot the tourists because you rely on them for your income but you have a semi captive audience with no context for any of the bullshit you spew. You can tell these people anything and they will believe you, the trusted friendly local. Now this is a very much Spider-Man situation where Great Power begets Great Audacity and even worse Responsibility.

My buddy goes on a run and when hes done there is a bar near a creek. So he wades into the creek because the day is hot and the water is cold.

Tourists ask what hes up to, with his running stuff he didn't want wet piled on the shore and him very obviously cooling off in the water. He says he's fishing.

But now here is why I am telling you this story. The universe occasionally aligns in such a way that we get to really really fuck with people and their perception of said universe. The opportunities do not come often and when they come you must seize the day. This is what my buddy did.

So this Creek runs through town and as a result of the highway and neighborhoods and culverts and roads it does not have a great salmon run. It's a short Creek the headwaters are only a few miles from the ocean it never had a great salmon run to begin with. But there are salmon.

One such fish brushes past my buddy's leg. Immediately he knees the fish like he is juggling a soccer ball and pops it out of the water, then slaps it out of the air on to the shore.

This is dumb luck. He could not do this again if he spent years training. Noodling (catching fish with your hands) is a thing that is legal to do with salmon but it is so much harder than literally every other way to catch salmon, including grabbing them with a garbage can. What he just managed is the kind of thing that should make you want to grab the fish and swing it around your head like a stripper with her panties off.

But,

He has an audience.

This is the opportunity offered by the universe.

He plays it cool.

He puts on dead pan straight face on and wades up to shore to grab his fish and nod to the tourists. Someone asks something and he assures them this is the standard way to get a quick dinner here. The tour guide has caught up with his group. He looks at my buddy and his fish and the general lack of fishing accoutrement. Without missing a beat, the guide backs up every ounce of bullshit out of my buddys mouth because if there is one true fraternity it is locals bullshitting stupid tourists.