do you think if cas had reached out just once and let his fingers brush against dean’s when they were standing right next to each other that dean would’ve just burst and all his feelings would’ve flooded out the bottle and he would’ve confessed to cas right then and there?
the hunt was over. demons lying dead on the floor and a trail of black smoke left lingering in the air. it had been a close call.
too close.
and maybe that was why dean shuffled his way into cas’ space; leaning his shoulder against cas’ maybe to ground himself or maybe to remind himself that cas was still there. because he almost hadn’t been. there had been a demon holding cas’ angel blade, the weapon millimeters from stabbing cas right through the heart, and dean had felt his whole world almost shatter before him.
but cas had been quicker. he’d taken the demon out, and dean had never felt relief that intense in his entire life.
“we should go,” cas said quietly, breaking the trance that they had fallen into.
and it must’ve been because they’d been standing so close. must’ve been the shock of the moment that had just transpired.
but cas’ hand brushed against his; the angel’s fingers tracing along dean’s for a fraction of a second in a soft reassurance. the touch was too much. it wasn’t enough. it was… it was…
“don’t let go,” dean said, the words coming out in a rush as cas started to pull away. “don’t.” and then he was wrapping his fingers around cas’ as the words spilled out, “don’t you dare almost leave me like that again. not without… not ever, actually… but not before I can say… before we can have…”
cas looked down at their hands, interlocked, and up to dean’s mouth. “before we can have this?”
dean swallows thickly, squeezing his eyes shut so he can’t see cas’ face as he gasps out the words that have been trapped in his lungs for years. “this. us.”
it’s not perfect. it’s not the words dean wants to say. but he can’t make his throat work; can’t get the words past his lips and into the air between them.
but he doesn’t have to. at least not yet. because cas squeezes his hand and he whispers, “if you’ll have me?”
dean can’t find the words, but he nods, feeling a sting behind his eyes as cas leans closer until their foreheads are touching. “I’ll have you,” dean finally manages to say, and he means it.
